what would you do if your husband spent all his time in the pub?

Question

Ihave been married for 28 yrs and have 4 young grand kids my husband works most of the time but wen hes finished he goes streight to the pub .6 days a week.Iam not a bad looking woman for my age as Ihave a few admirers but my husband dosnt seem to care all he wants is the booze should i leave him ?.

Answer 1

I would have told him off the first time he did it. I think it's a bit late now to expect him to change his ways, only you can know if you should leave him or not.

Answer 2

I am sure you are a very good looking woman, but it usually takes two to drift apart. Have you thought as to why he may prefer the pub? Do you argue constantly when you are together? You have 4 young grand kids, are they always there? When you are together, do you spend time alone as a couple?
If you cannot find an answer, then you have probably answered it yourself.
PS. What does he do on the seventh day, or is that a leading question?

Answer 3

I've been in this situation and i ended up leaving him. Mine was in the pub 7 nights a week, and came home drunk and was occasionally violent. It was the mental torture that was the worst thing though. In the end i made up my mind and left. He gave me no attention whatsoever and just treated me like a slave. I ended up meeting another man who treated me like a princess and made me realise just how good life can be. I'm still with him and it's fantastic - i feel like a new person. Everything has changed for the better. I think you have two options here - either leave him (i know it's not easy, believe me), or stay with him and just live your own life and leave him to his own devices. Stop caring and find another man who appreciates you and gives you the love and fun that you deserve. This drunken idiot has no right to treat you like this. Find another guy - you only live once and you've given him 28 years of chances. Best of luck xx

Answer 4

No, start going out when he is at the pub and tell him that you are going out, when he starts to ask why or question you tell him because you need to get out too and you can't just wait for him to get home so you can do for him what he expects.

You don't have to go to a pub, you can just shop or go to a movie, or a walk in the park or visit your grandkids without him and tell him what you did while he was sitting in a pub, maybe he'll ge the hint.

Answer 5

I had the same problem unfortunately. Now I'm on my own after 23 years and you know what it feels great. I was never sure how drunk he would be when he eventually came home and I just got so fed up of it. He preferred to be in the pub rather than home, so that's the way he has it.

Answer 6

What he is looking for is not the booze, it's the companionship. Men cannot find male companionship at home with their wives, they have to find it elsewhere, like the pub. Don't leave him, just find other interests as well, maybe a group of female friends, book club, church group, etc. He's not rejecting you, he's trying to accept another group.

Answer 7

I divorced mine too young to follow the path my mother did I'm no doormat! Leave him u have given him too much of Ur precious time. See how much he likes coming home to his own washing, ironing, cooking and cleaning! Concentrate on ur grand kids they are they most precious things in your life now and will appreciate you far more than your husband obviously does! Good luck x

Answer 8

Maybe don't leave him but definitely get out there and enjoy yourself and start leading your own life. I don't want to say anything bad about your man cos he is your hubby but, he shouldn't be down the pub everynight really. It's not much of a life for him or you.

Answer 9

Looks like he has left you a long time ago.It's not a matter of actually, leaving the building, but finding yourself as you really are.
In Malta we get individuals, mostly females, who justify this punishment,by saying"if it were'nt for the kids", but what about you?
Start living,you're on you own anyway.You cannot change a person, but you can change the way you react,who knows........

Answer 10

Tell him you`re going to if he doesn`t stop this selfish habit. There`s no point in being married if you don`t have interests or pastimes you can share. The booze also isn`t doing him any good.

Answer 11

If your not happy talk to him, there may be an underlying problem he's not facing, or he simply enjoys relaxing with his mates? But you need time together, have a date together away from the pub!