Does this happen to any other husbands?

Question

My wife gets in a mood and threatens to leave me and then like a day later everything is ok. We are fine. Does she just say that because she knows it hurts? I am a little lost. We have 3 kids together and have been married for 4 years.

Answer 1

I think she does this because she wants to know how you really feel about her in the moment. I've gone through this and put my huband through this, very regretfully. It's not fair at all and I personally will never do it again.

Mentally for us, we need to know you care. We feel like we tell you and show you everyday, but dont' seem to get it back the same way. It would help if you would show just a little more affection, if you're not doing much now. Even simple things like hugging her from behind when she's cooking or doing the dishes.

I use to never do this to my husband's face- i'd just put it into a letter. but again, i completely regret it because i made him feel unstable and hurt him. Talk to her about it and say that you can understand when she may get upset with you, but you hold your marriage at a high point and don't appreciate it when she threatens to leave you and then leave you feeling like you constantly have something held over your head. Let her know that you want to always be open with her, but can't because you're afraid she'll get mad and threaten to leave.

good luck!

Answer 2

Okay, I have two prospectives on this one.
First off, I'm the type of person that if we have it out today, tommorrow is another day, and I'm okay again.
I try not to go overboard and say things in anger that cut to the core of anyone's being. But maybe she doesn't really mean what she's saying, she just blurts it out in anger.
I do not carry grudges, and prefer to move on from the ordeal and not drag it into the next day, that's why I act "fine" the next day.

However, if she's got a habit of throwing the "I'm gonna leave you" thing in your face, every time there's a little to-do, then that's a totally different ballgame. That is emotional abuse. Not to mention, trying to scare you is manipulative and controlling. Have a talk with her. Let her know that this hurts you and that she can't be saying those nasty things every time there's an issue. But don't make an idle threat, because most of the time if there's not action behind a threat, people blow you off because there's never been a consequence. If she continues, then you need to think about what you can live with and what you cannot and act accordingly.

Answer 3

It's called PMS and no she doesn't say it to hurt you, she says it b/c thats really how she feels and she, at that time says it b/c she fears she'll really walk, she wants change and feels like none will come. This happens b/c she is over whelmed and frustrated she doesn't want to walk out on her husband and children but she will if she doesn't feel loved, appreciated, if there isn't any compassion or help around the house or with the children. She feels this way when she feels that you haven't heard a word she has said and how many times does she have to tell you before you get it!? Hope this helps!

Answer 4

It doesn't happen to me BUT my wife has crammed so much down my throat that I just want to say F**K and leave her. She took advantage of my good nature and kind heart and now it feels like she wants more, and I can't afford to give her more.

So knows what she is saying and she knows it hurts you big time. She might not care at first BUT I think she eventually realizes what she has said and the damage it cases you, but she much rather swallow her foolish pride and not say anything.

At least your wife gets in the mood, and I'm sure you two have sex. Mine only teases me and then stops cold turkey. Both our wives have abused us, so I am speaking from experience, BUT you need to realize one thing. Is your marriage really worth saving. Only you can best answer that one.

Answer 5

get counseling she probably has more problems than the ones at hand..or should I say you have relationship problems together. She is getting fed up with certain things. Perhaps after the fight is over, you act all sweet and try to act like nothing ever happened so she tries to too, but the real problem is still boiling underneath the surface, and you need to face it before it's too late

Answer 6

It is my wifes favorite threat as well, it used to truly piss me off, it took years of putting up with it until I told her threatin me with it one more time and you will get it, she did, I packed and left to a friends, she called 2 hours later apologyzing and hasn't done it since. Can't say it would work for you but I do feel ya.

Answer 7

that depends on how you wife is.. i know that in all marriages there are rough spots and yes threats are made to leave.one day when shes in a good mood talk to her about it


tell her that it hurts and you wanna know if shes really thinking that or saying it out of anger

she could be thinking about it alot and maybe consideing it so id talk to her


good luck

Answer 8

Does not happen to me anyway. We've been married for 22 years and she loves and respects me - tell your wife to cut the crap or face the consequences...or you could beat her into submission, naw, that's probably illegal, so don't do that

Answer 9

Massive hormone attack. Next time she threatens to leave hand her the car keys and a bottle of water and say "see ya".

No one should have to put up with this bad behavior. She wouldn't put up with it from you would she?

Answer 10

She's feeling insecure and asking you, begging you, to give her that assurance. Tell her more often how terrific she is, rekindle the romance and give her little thoughtful presents, not huge big deal things. A lot of little attention will keep her happy where she is, but she's not feeling it now.