My husband cheated on me during the first few months we were dating. I happened to be pregnant at the time and decided to try to work things out...I never full recovered but somehow managed. We just had our one year anniversary. We moved to this area a year ago and I have yet to meet any of his friends,(he is military)...He goes out with them on weekends that I convenitly can not attend due to my work. He recently told me that when he was in his home state (I was not present) That he "bumped" into his x girlfriend who he had dated for over 5 years...and he told me they hung out and had a few beers and that I had nothing to worry about. Also...I'v been catching him talking with local girls via the computer...I don't know if anything has gone on with any of the local girls...But I know it's not what a happily married man schould be doing. I guess I just want feed back. I'm scared to be a single mother with two small children...But I don't know what else to do. Any sugustans?
2007-04-20 06:34:49 · 12 answers · asked by Georgia Girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok... stay with him.... even though you are 99% sure hes cheating.. just stay. Dont make things harder on yourself than they have to be... If there is anything you would like to do right now to prepare you for the day that you want to move on and start a new life.. like go to college or start a new career.. do it now!! let him pay the bills and you get yourself ready to be a single parent raising to children.. use this time wisely and have a end goal established. If he isnt cheating.. which you and I both know he is... then this time will not be wasted.. YOU WILL BE PREPARED! First thing is save up some emergency funds just incase you have to find you another place to live... and for food. then decided on how and where you plan to raise your kids.. work on your goal.. and stay cool calm and collective around him. Most important thing!!! DONT LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU ARE AWARE OF HIM CHEATING! AND ACT LIKE YOU DONT CARE AND YOU HAVE A LIFE.. BE NICE AND GET ALONG. Especially sense there is children involved.
2007-04-20 06:48:53 · answer #1 · answered by lopez41780 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think first off you may have moved a little to fast in this relationship, and although you may not be able to do anything about that now it is going to effect the rest of your marriage. I do think that maybe he feels the same way, that things happened way to fast between the two of you and next thing you know he has a baby on the way and now a wife. Thats a lot for a person, especially if you two are a young couple. I think you need to talk to him upfront about this. Let him know that this may not be what he had planned, but this is the way it is now. Find out if he wants to work it out or not. Remember to listen though and respect his feelings. Good Luck
2007-04-20 07:33:41 · answer #2 · answered by Tamra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a classic example of a cheat...And he's got the best of both worlds. He can go out and play and he knows that if he don't get 'lucky', he's got you at home. Hanging out with an old girlfriend, having drinks. Not taking you with him to "his friends", and looking at porn on the web isn't exactly the ingredients of a good husband. My suggestion is to tell him, point blank, knock it off or it's over. Don't stay for the kids, you aren't doing them any favor by showing them that living with a cheat is okay. He needs to make a clear choice, either he is your husband and wants to be with you or he can be single and 'hang' with his buds... You deserve better... Have you a pastor, do you attend church?...Don't just sit there and take that abuse and that's exactly what it is...
2007-04-20 06:46:10 · answer #3 · answered by Domino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your place I think I'd be in counseling to find out why I'd settle for so little. You married a boy, hon, not a man. If marriage is admiration respect, passion and trust, the really four biggies, you sure can't trust this guy, so the rest of it is in the toilet too, isn't it???? Why are you still there???? You're just his "jerk in reserve". Hon, life it too short to waste time on jerks, and jacka$$(es). A few sessions of counseling would be the best $$ you ever spent to get your head on straight.
2007-04-20 07:02:59 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be open and communicate your concerns.if you
forgave him once for this terrible thing he has done and moved on and he is still behaving this way than you are being
manipulated so he can have his cake and eat it too.it is totally
unacceptable to let him put you through this.trust has already been broken he should have compassion never to
make you feel that way again. paranoia is com man after this sort of thing but also warren ted.i would demand professional counseling at once.because he is teaching you your not worth it and your children are being drug through this as well.
if you are a christian you have grounds for divorce.but god
would prefer the situation to be worked out.
2007-04-20 06:58:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on you. I always tell my friends...ultimately you will not leave until you have reached your breaking point so there is no use in anyone telling you to stay or go.
On a personal note, I was also married to a military man, we knew each other in high school and he confessed his undying love for me. We got engaged quickly, I got pregnant, we got married (in that order). He came home every night and was always at home on the weekends, he rarely went out with friends....but he was emitionally unfaithful. He too chated with women on the internet. We took a break when we came home on leave and he ended up sleeping with this other girl and started talking to her. So I left. 2 years later we got back together, but he ended up doing the same thing...chating with women on the internet, talking to them on the phone, and being a "little too friendly" with his women friends. That was it, I had enough and we split again. He came back months later and said he still loved me. I told him to get a life...I wasn't going through it again, I had had enough. That was my breaking point, I was not longer in love with him and tired of taking his abuse....when you reach that point you will know when to leave. Until then, try to work it out if you still love him.
2007-04-20 06:48:43 · answer #6 · answered by ntemp01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's talking to other women on the internet yet he is a happily married man? Happily married people don't do that stuff. I'd look to see if it's just chatting or if there is more going on.
2007-04-20 06:42:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lay down the law girl!! tell him that if he doesn't straighten up you'll go to his C.O.,, he can get into hot water with the military if they know he's cheating on his wife. make him aware that you have proof from the computer and if he doesn't stop now, he'll be paying child support at a young age
2007-04-20 06:42:15 · answer #8 · answered by Hi its me again 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chatting, had beers with his x, goes out with friends? Thats not a good sign. Talk to your hubby and let him know how you feel. Tell him that you are upset that he had beers with his x(who knows if he did something bad), why is he chatting? If he does not seem to care, then be brave and be a good mother to those kids! Men are men, and they are going to keep doing these things.
2007-04-20 06:43:17 · answer #9 · answered by Latina4life 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for you dear. I had a cheating boyfriend and it was awful.
Check his credit card bills. See where the money is being spent. Find out how to check his e-mail. Look in his wallet. If it were me I'd be the biggest snoop in the world.
Pray about it.
My heart hurts for you.
2007-04-20 06:42:06 · answer #10 · answered by Jeanmarie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋