We Have Been Married For 22 Years. I Feel That My Husband Has Really Changed Over The Last Year! What Are Some Signs For Me To Divorce Him And Move On? More Details: He Has To Constantly Go Someplace, He Reads The Paper While I Am Talking, Stays Up Late With Are Kids 19 and 20,Does Not Like Paying The Bills Anymore,Makes A Key For The Kids To Our Apartment I Am The Last To Get A Key. I Have Left Several Times!! But He Calls And Tells Me I Belong At Home Not Where I Went To Stay. He Can Really Be Confusing To Me! Is This A Change In His Age Or Are We Heading For A DIVORE ? It Would Not Be A Problem For Me To Be Divorced.
2007-04-20 06:22:17 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You and him need to go on a cruise or a vacation, just the two of you. You need to be alone with him so you can rekindle your romance.
2007-04-20 06:26:36 · answer #1 · answered by mikentammy76 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Divorce sounds inevitable. But, that seems a waste of 22 years together. My wife and I have been married for 30 years and your husband sounds a lot like like me ... and just about all the other oafs our age. I'm so thankful that my wife stuck it out with me.
Once we got through the normal 'taking stock of our lives' that happens in our 40s, we were able to move forward together ... and like never before. I guess that's why I spend time here at Yahoo Q&A ... just to let people know that there is a lot of hope.
I think our relationships need to get broken down ... so we can build them back in the right way ... the way we really want them. I don't think we can do that until we've been married at least 20 years ... or 30 years.
It's just about to get interesting ... don't call it quits now.
2007-04-20 13:28:29 · answer #2 · answered by Sultan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well while you are saying it wouldn't be a problem that is where you are headed b/c of your attitude and your thoughts.
Marriage is for those who can love eachother unconditionally, for the mature, for the honest and there is no room for jealousy and communication is part of the whole, if you have these things love can withstand any obsticals and any illusions and trust is there. But both must have the will and have the desire to want a lasting relationship -you can start off by syaing o.k. this is what we'll do but if one of you lacks the giving of these things you are back to square one. Communication must also go as far as dicussing s_x with one another, if you can not be honest or tell your spouce that strange has been on your mind then problems will arise!!! If you know what I mean, if you can't talk about s_x with your spouce then who can you talk to about it with... An open mind helps as well as being best friends...
It is time for you and he to enter into a different stage of your marriage it is what you amke it is all in your hands but it takes two... Tell him how you feel!
2007-04-20 13:29:12 · answer #3 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, it really depends on why you left before and where you went to stay ( you never said) staying up late with his kids is not a red flag. reading the paper while you talk is what some guys do, you should try to talk to him after his reading the morning news. as for you not leaving the house. tell him you'll leave the house unlocked ,if he doesn't give you a key, for when you need to go somewhere. If you have already left several times, you two do have a few problems. I don't think we have heard all of them though..
2007-04-20 13:32:31 · answer #4 · answered by Hi its me again 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have listed some of those red flags. 22 years is a long time so maybe you should try marriage counseling 1st. But it sounds like you kinda have your mind made up. Divorce isn't the end of the world. And your kids are grown. Good Luck
2007-04-20 13:35:33 · answer #5 · answered by Shelly E 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Of course the first question has to be, have you tried counseling? Then again, a lot of what you are suggesting are signs of age and also of the differences between men and women, they speak different languages. To many people, spending time with kids is a sign of love and commitment, not of rejection. My guess is you are changing too. There doesn't appear to be any 'deal-breakers' here, just some warnings.
2007-04-20 13:28:18 · answer #6 · answered by John B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have issues of your own to work out if you seriously don't have a problem with being divorced. And if you don't, why ask this question on here? Why not just let things happen?
If you want people urging you to divorce, I'm not one of them. You chose to be with this man, you made a vow. Why wouldn't you keep it? Just because things aren't GREAt, really isn't a good enough reason.
2007-04-20 13:26:36 · answer #7 · answered by btpage0630 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you have answered the question yourself. "It would not be a problem for me to get a divorce" You have thought about this for sometime (I ve left before) and you are now secure enough to do it. What I read from your letter is that he is ignoring you. TELL HIM SO!!!!!! Not others on the the internet. Dont be afraid of his age - it seems thats one of the reasons you want to leave him. You will both eventually grow old, grey and wrinkly - its called the cycle of life. Embrace and accept it.
2007-04-20 14:03:10 · answer #8 · answered by tod m 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"Irreconcilable differences" would be the reason listed on the divorce decree--and you already have made up your mind that you want a divorce and you should get up the courage and just do it because it sounds you want out desperately and there doesn't seem to be anymore "chances left" for your husband to change your mind.
Just get your financial affairs in order first- like your savings account- take out half before you leave from your accounts so that you have something to live on until you get (if your state allows) any alimony------good luck to you----you deserve a new start....
2007-04-20 13:28:47 · answer #9 · answered by mac 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
22 years huh? Sounds like you need to change things up a bit. He sounds like he has got tired of being the responsible one and maybe he longs for some youthful fun....join him in doing some fun things! Get out laugh together and not be so uptight about things. I mean you oviously have to pay the bills but offer to take care of a few of them.
2007-04-20 13:30:05 · answer #10 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you need counseling, both as a couple and by yourself. Whether or not to get divorced is a decision that YOU need to make. You can't ask a bunch of random strangers on Yahoo! to decide the fate of your marriage for you. It sounds to me like you want to divorce him, you just need some affirmation from someone else. In marriage, decisions like this need to be made by you and your spouse, not you, your spouse, and everyone else.
2007-04-20 13:27:39 · answer #11 · answered by greeneyes_bjb 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋