I busted my live in bf of 5 yrs cheating. We decided to work things out. I still go thru his phone for my own satisfaction. He knows this and doesnt like it. This morning I went thru his phone and it was locked. What are you thoughts?
2007-04-20 04:23:39 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I dont think he is hiding anything I just think its a privacy thing, oh and by the way, I will be asking him to see his phone tonight so it doesnt seem like I'm going behind his back.
2007-04-20 04:24:38 · update #1
It has nothing to do with self esteem! Trust me I think very highly of myself. And dont sit there saying you wouldnt put up with something when you arent in the situation. I said that myself and look where I am at now.
2007-04-20 04:31:19 · update #2
Deep down you really don't trust him completely do you? You lost your trust in him when he cheated so now it is always in the back of your mind. You think he might do it again.
I think you should talk to him and tell him how you feel and why you go through his phone. If he loves you and he wants to make the relationship work, he will talk with you about everything.
I don't agree with you going through his phone but that is because of the past. Just watch yourself because since you are looking through his phone all the time, he is going to think you are checking to see if he is cheating on you. He might cheat again because you are basically showing him that you don't trust him and you are already suspecting deep down that he is cheating so he might cheat again even if he isn't currently cheating.
Good Luck!!
2007-04-20 04:36:15 · answer #1 · answered by dbroncosfan4life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!! Dont work things out with a cheater!! His phone is locked? Come on girl...dont be so naive! Yeah, you put alot of time and effort but some things are better off in the past...like that relationship! You are better than that...Now he knows he can get away with it!! Just get out of there...no second chances after cheating! What, youre not good enough for him? He went elsewhere for something he was missing in the relationship, which he could have talked with you about, and youre going to let him do that? Omg!! That is sick and I would not stand for it! He would be outta my life! Cuz now, you will always wonder what hes up to, who hes with, what hes doing, etc...when hes not with you! Do you really want to live like that when theres a guy that will never do that kind of thing to you?! Do the right thing......Do not get walked on.....pleez!
You are just blinded by the whole thing. Try to see from the outside!
2007-04-20 17:17:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a new man. Seriously. If he had nothing to hide his phone wouldn't be locked, privacy issue or not, especially since you busted him cheating. He should understand that your need to check up on him is quite possibly what you may need in order to start trusting him again?
But as far as I can tell, thru my own life experiences, Once a cheater always a cheater and you deserve better. Theres a good man out there for you that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated and who can keep his d^cK in his pants until its time to satisfy YOU!!
2007-04-20 11:44:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, so he cheated, you check his phone daily or occasionally. If that was part of your agreement for "working it out" then he really shouldn't complain.
You need to communicate that fact that you feel better when you check his phone. You don't want to be burned again and that you don't trust him, and need this.
So his phone was locked, he's probably a little irritated. He probably doesn't have anything to hide, but it's like parent having their kid empty their pockets to make sure they don't have any critters before letting them in the house. It's annoying. Plus it's a violation of his space.
Besides, if he really wanted to cheat on you, you think he'd use his phone. Doesn't really seem like a really bright move to me.
2007-04-20 12:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by -J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are there any private things in your life you keep to yourself and not share with him?
Because you caught him cheating, you'll never have a healthy relationship again, until you seek counceling and learn the things YOU BOTH need to learn, before a healthy relationship, TRUST can be established and met.
You decided to try and work it out, but your NOT working it out because of your trust issues. Your wanting to think or rather you already think because the phone was locked, that he's cheating again.
UNLESS you both get counceling, you'll be not trusting, you'll be pushing him further away, and probably to cheat again.
Your tortuing yourself and him..............the whole relationship. It isn't a healthy one.
2007-04-20 11:32:38 · answer #5 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he sincerely wants to work things out then he knows it will be a long while before you trust him again and will cater to what you need in order to feel secure in the relationship. If he has to lock and hide things then he is not being sincere about wanting to reassure you and doesn't feel he has to gain back your trust. He's wrong.
Your call whether to go or stay.
2007-04-20 11:27:47 · answer #6 · answered by Stefka 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Any counselor,which you guys probably need, will tell you that he needs to earn your trust back now.
If that means letting you look through his phone, his e-mail, or him giving you a minute by minute account of his day, then that's what he needs to do if he really wants to work this out.
This may go on for a long time until you feel like you can trust him again.
Good luck!
2007-04-20 11:39:45 · answer #7 · answered by nailgal2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cheated on you already then he will cheat again. And if he doesnt you are never going to fully trust him. People who arent cheating who keep getting accused of it tend to do it out of spite. So i think maybe this relationship is ruined. You deserve someone better and where you dont have to always "watch" his every move.
2007-04-20 11:44:18 · answer #8 · answered by Launycaspot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real question is, what are you still doing with him? Damn, you weren't even dumb enough to marry the guy, you can just walk away....so why don't you???? I wouldn't put up with this crap for one sec....what is the matter with some women? Is their self esteem so low they have to tolerate cheaters??!!!!
HE WAS THE ONE CHEATING!!! Now his phone is LOCKED???? Seems to me, if he wanted to stick around, he would be an open book to you!!!
He is still in contact with his whore. Make NO mistake about that!!!
2007-04-20 11:28:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you still don't trust him and are that suspicious, you need to get out of the relationship.
Sounds like the hurt and lack of trust can be mended
2007-04-20 11:28:13 · answer #10 · answered by hi_stk_n 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋