Men are from Mars and women are from Crazytown?

Question

I hear alot of married women saying their husbands are not there for them enough emotionally or they don't remember anniverseries or they don't compliment them enough. Well, I'm here to tell you I do the opposite and what is my reward? Being taken advantage of. You see, I do the breakfast in bed, the love notes, help around the house. Not everyday mind you, but, on the days they should count I do. My wife gives none of it back. Does she work hard for the family? yes. Does she appreciate the extra lengths I go to, to make her happy? NO. Oh, she says thank you, or oh how sweet, but, never returns the favors. I don't care what you say, a little recognition by her thoughtful behavior would be nice. It was not always so one sided but for the past few years it has. Well, I'm fed up. I'm young, intelligent and attractive. You women talk about what you want from a guy and when he gives it to you regularly. example: birthadays, anniverseries etc or just a foot massage after a long

Answer 1

My wife went into Bridezilla mode before the marriage and never came out. I've been separated from her for over 3 years and finally have my life back. I don't ever...EVER want to be in a relationship again. I'll stay single and happy til death do I part this world.

Answer 2

When most women describe what they want, they are accurately describing what behaviour would make them happiest in a man they are intensely attracted too.

Unfortunately, that behaviour may not match up with the behaviour that makes them feel attracted to a man. Sometimes they are just independant behaviours, some women are messed up to the point where they are contradictory behaviours.

If the intimacy is not there, most women I think reject all the romance and sweet actions as being 'designed to get a reward'.

Stop listening to what women say they want, start observing what they actually respond to.

For the record, men are probably just as unreliable at being able to _say_ what they want. I mean how many guys say they want a sweet, innocent girl and like low maintenance girls, then go drool over some girl with a corporate account at MAC?

EDIT: Sophia, your post was accurate but contrary to the advice most women give elsewhere. Check any of the numerous threads where men complain that their wives are uninterested in sex. The response from women is about 80% of the 'send her sweet notes, be romantic, do more chores' variety. Yet as you point out, women do NOT respond to ANY of those things if they decide the man is doing it because he expects something in return. But so long as people give that terrible advice out, lots of men will be stuck in this guy's position, which is actually worse then before, because his wife now tunes out any attempt on his part to be romantic or helpful.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry you're going through that. Most women would appreciate every bit of what you're doing, but please don't judge all of the others b/c your wife is that way.

Stop doing those things and see how she reacts. If she says something, then let her know that you need attention back too and tell her hoiw you feel. I know it's not manly to share your feelings, but if you don't, how will you ever be heard?

I've come to realize that I don't want the breakfast in bed, or foot massages. I don't ever want to EXPECT those things again. And why? because I love it when he says sweet things out of the blue, or does something completely unexpected. It's more meaningful and loving when it's done with a sincere heart

Answer 4

O.k. I hope you feel better after venting off I see why you're upset stop doing these things then if you want to. You are letting yourself down adn setting yourself up b/c you look for rewards in the thing you do. you expect soemthing back you haven't gotten it so now your hurt mad and feel unloved!? Never look for rewards we make ourselves fall this way, if you want her to say something more then thank you or oh how sweet come right out and act like you are her and say these things out load like "oh you big man you're generousity makes me hot" so she can hear you have to do this with humor and a few times everytime you'd like her to say or do something even if you want her to do the dishes say "oh let wife do those for you you've been working hard all day" she might help out take over or you tell you to go get fu_ked LOl just kiddin have some humor and play with this - she'll see what you mean.

Answer 5

I totally agree with you. I DO have a man who does those things for me but I thank him and appreciate him. Your wife sounds very insenstive to your needs. She should be lucky to have found a man such as yourself. Maybe you should sit her down and talk to her and tell her you would like a little thank you here and there or to tell you how much she appreciates what you do. You are rare though, not a lot of men help around the house or remember anniversaries and stuff, but they are around if you look. I found one and he knows what he means to me. She needs to wise up before you get fed up.

Answer 6

You are one of the good guys and I applaud you for going against the "norm". You wife really don't understand what a jewel she has in you and shame on her for that. There are a lot of women out here searching for a man like you, who would recipricate what you have done. Let me say on behalf of the good women who appreciates a good man, thank you for doing what you do and hopefully more men will do it. When my husband does something special for me, I let him know I appreciate it and I reward him accordingly. Kudos to you and don't let her keep you from being the good person that you are, good luck and God bless. :)

Answer 7

Oh, it definitely goes both ways...I think it's the opposites attract aspect.
She should absolutely realize what a wonderful husband she has and show her appreciation. I'd be fed up too if I were you.
And, just for the record, we're not ALL from crazytown.

Answer 8

So you are just figuring this out now? This has been going on forever. Women take and demand but don't give in return. It's their nature, they want. You should withhold sex from your wife...oh wait that is a female tactic. Yes we know that women don't take complaints well, but you need to talk to her and tell her how you feel. Of course it won't do any good, but at least she will understand when you stop being so nice.

Answer 9

Wow, generalise much? Just because your wife doesn't appreciate it, doesn't mean that all women wouldn't.

Sorry you got your heart trampled on, but don't change yourself because one woman screwed you over. You're a catch. I hope you find a woman who will appreciate that.

Answer 10

No we're not from seperate planets but I really do support us all being seperated to different continents. We can keep in touch with each other via email.