What is wrong with my friend?

Question

My friend has obviously been abused in her childhood, she has been raped anally, beaten in many different ways, been called various unpleasant names and at times was abandoned. Additionally, she sometimes was forced to eat rotten food, all these actions had been taken by her parents, I feel for her, but she is very difficult, can often misunderstand things.
She left a job because her manager called her names at work, because of a minor shortage in her till on her 3rd day of employment, and she just resigned almost immidiately after the event.
This shows she can sometimes overreact, even though she seems to not regret this occasion, has has regretted many others in the past.
She seems to have a personality disorder, if so, could the reason for it be the abuse she experienced in her childhood?

If you answer, it would be nice if you could say if you have experience with the issue, and if so, why as this may be beneficial for a court case she has regarding her 9 month old child.

Answer 1

I too have suffered from abuse inthe past and can identify with your friend's actions. I am on the look out for abuse and exploitation from other. I walked out of a job because the manager was a bully and do tend to overreact when someone tries to bully me. I was bullied by someone last year and reacted so strongly that I wanted that person to fear me. No, I don't regret it either. Maybe she has improved her confidence and wishes to no longer to work for someone who appears to be a bully.

But it does appear that she may have post traumatic stress disorder resulting from her abuse, which represent the following symptoms: This is a paste and cut.

Symptoms can include general restlessness, insomnia, aggressiveness, depression, dissociation, emotional detachment, and nightmares. A potential symptom is memory loss about an aspect of the traumatic event. Amplification of other underlying psychological conditions may also occur. Young children suffering from PTSD will often re-enact aspects of the trauma through their play and may often have nightmares that lack any recognizable content.

One patho-psychological way of explaining PTSD is by viewing the condition as secondary to deficient emotional or cognitive processing of a trauma.[12] This view also helps to explain the three symptom clusters of the disorder:[13]

Intrusion: Since the sufferers are unable to process the extreme emotions brought about by the trauma, they are plagued by recurrent nightmares or daytime flashbacks, during which they graphically re-experience the trauma. These re-experiences are characterized by high anxiety levels and make up one part of the PTSD symptom cluster triad called intrusive symptoms.

Hyperarousal: PTSD is also characterized by a state of nervousness with the patient being prepared for "fight or flight". The typical hyperactive startle reaction, characterized by "jumpiness" in connection with high sounds or fast motions, is typical for another part of the PTSD cluster called hyperarousal symptoms and could also be secondary to an incomplete processing.

Avoidance: The hyperarousal and the intrusive symptoms are eventually so distressing that the individual strives to avoid contact with everything and everyone, even their own thoughts, which may arouse memories of the trauma and thus provoke the intrusive and hyperarousal states. The sufferers isolate themselves, becoming detached in their feelings with a restricted range of emotional response and can experience so-called emotional detachment ("numbing"). This avoidance behavior is the third part of the symptom triad that makes up the PTSD criteria.

Dissociation: Dissociation is another "defense" that includes a variety of symptoms including feelings of depersonalization and derealization, disconnection between memory and affect so that the person is "in another world," and in extreme forms can involve apparent multiple personalities and acting without any memory ("losing time").

Any kind of abuse (more sexual) could result in a Border Line Personality Disorder too:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder.

Answer 2

my friend sufferd with the simmilar problem that your freind is sufferin. is a sort of dippretion and it can have a lot of diffrent side effects. your freind simms to coupe with it well enough my friends illnss ended tragic when she commited suiside in an young age.
this is a serious problem and yes it has been cused by the child hood experiences. this child hood fears could come at once and she could loose all her confdence and be scared and act like a child almost.
but i have to say having a child could be good or bad dippending on her feeling about the world she lives in. if she likes her world then she would be a great mother to her child as she wont want her child go through what she has been trough but if she dosenot enjoye this world or may have tryied to coomit siouside then keeping a child near her could be dangerous,
i hop she fells better soon.

Answer 3

This is a very drastic situation that your friend facing currently. I am sorry for that. Ok. when coming to the situation due to the unexpected situations raised in her child hood.
Due to the situation that was first encountered in her child hood and the remaining situations created by her own parents make her to think bad and worst about the humans.

so thats why she is thinking in high order about her and in low manner about the people. Obviously when our own people harmed us, we can loose hope on remaining everyone. we cant even trust anyone and we cant even believe or love anyone. All the time she misunderstands everyone due to the situations faced by her.

I also faced the same type of situation with my friend who was attempted rape 4 times from her relatives. she doesnt trust guys and doesnt like to talk with guys. its common even if the same situation happen to guy also they will behave only.

The only thing we can do is just by giving some trust, they have to believe us and if we gave that, i mean what they lost if we gave that, definetly they come into normal stage. Ok.

There is nothing to scold her because the situations she faced upto know make her like that.

Answer 4

I have some experiance working with abused children, so I really do think that all of you friend's problems stem from her childhood. what she has been through has made her the person that she is today, although she is coping, and that is a great sign. however, I do not think that she can go on without professional help, and I know how hard it is for abuse victims to seek help. what you can do is encourage her to get help, therapy, both for her own sake and for the sake of her child. I do think that she is doing quite well, considering all that she has been through, she will definately sometimes overreact as she simply does not know how to react. so please, help her get therapy.

Answer 5

yes it sounds as though it could have been her childhood, but it could also be a combination of this and all the other times in her life when things like that have happened. I personally haven't encountered this my self, but those who i Know that have, used all the evidence they had strait away. If physical evidence is not used before it has healed it may not stand.
Just be a good friend and stand behind her all the way and allow her to make the decision and don't pressure her.

Answer 6

oh god this is so sad to hear, i do not have 1st hand experience about this but a lot of research into this area of child abuse and mental/personality disorders have shown a high correlation, so there is a high chance that many people who were abused when younger develop such persoanlities as a defence mechanism to protect ones self, i think its the defence mechs she's developed- she need to go see someone-- try et her to see someone in this area.

i hope you remain a good friend to her because she will need friends like you around, no matter how difficult she is and may become, its a hard job for you but thats the job of a friend right?

good luck

Answer 7

She has obviously been through more trauma and stress than the average person. She is very fragile and needs to be treated with more patience than the average person. She is delicate and has been hurt enough. She needs attention, understanding and unconditional love. That means sticking with her through all of her ranting and hollering and no matter what she may say. She is hurting inside and doesn't know how to make it stop. She needs to be able to learn how to manage the memories and resolve the issues they have created for her in her life. She needs to be able to learn how to leave the past in the past, and see that the abuse is over, she didn't do anything to deserve it, and it will never happen again. I'd even say that she feels guilt over what she has been through. Again, it's not her fault, but due to the abuse she doesn't see herself as the precious person that she is. All of her innocence and trust have been betrayed. This is not a task that anyone is expected to face alone. Please help her to get help to heal herself. She does not have to keep hurting needlessly. Please help her to help herself. My heart goes out to you and her and her baby.

Answer 8

She is a survivor of abuse.
She needs to seek some help to deal with her acceptance of what has happened to her in the past.
I am also a survivor of abuse.
I have help myself by accepting what happened to me in the past.
I go to site that help lift myself esteem
LavenderPower.org
She needs to find out that there are many survivors out there and she is not alone to handle this burden with herself.
I think she should take a break from her child and take some time for herself.
She needs to raise her Self Esteem!
If she needs to talk to someone who has gone through some of the same things as she has please send her to me if she needs a friend.
I hope my answer will help a little

Answer 9

it is better to have no friends than delinquents. they are not going to be real friends. they will get you into trouble or make you end up feeling worse. the best way to develop self is to open the bible and find God. learn what it is that He expects from you and the love he has for you. it is a roadmap to life. all the answers are in there. we were formed in the image of God. learn that image. find a local church that has a good teen program and go through these things with christians teens facing the same things.

Answer 10

your friend is a victim of horrible abuse she is not the one
with a personality disorder in fight or flight situation
she has learned to leave she has saw the negative side of
life why should she regret her actions she deserves to be treated with respect i am sure that any phycologist worth their salt could put that forward to any court as a friend you could make sure she talks to a professional. never give anyone a
label.