Adoption vs. Abortion?

Question

Ok, everyone on here always preaches Adoption vs Abortion, or should i say Adoption OVER Abortion. Now, has anyone ever thought about how many children are STILL stuck in Group homes/Foster homes, are RAISED in the government system until they are old enough for them to throw them out into the world because they never got adopted? i could never even opt for adoption as i am not that kind of person. I mean, i can't even leave my dog outside if it's raining, imagine giving my child that i made, to a total stranger and never ever knowing what will happen or years down the road, what happened to my child that i gave up because i didn't want him/her. Yes, there are certain situations that are understandable, but me personally, I couldn't live with the guilt. On top of the fact that, what if i gave my child up and he/she is Never adopted? hmm, makes you think...

Answer 1

your right....... that changes my perspective on things....... the only way to set your kid up for adoption is to know the poeple that you give them to. so you know that they're in a good home but still................

Answer 2

ok let me me get to the point of your question- so it would be easier to abort your child then give it life and place for adoption? Most babies now that are given up for adoption are done privately and immediately. Sure there are some older kids that may not get adopted but that does not make death a better choice does it? I am adopted and if my birth mom had aborted me because she could not give me up I would not be here, My 2 precious teenagers are adopted as well. I feel very sorry for the kids that go throughout there life from foster home to foster home, etc but that does not make aborted a child correct, even though it is legal. That child that is being developed in the mother's womb is still a living child, even though it is not born. It is a crime to destroy the condor egg, with a fine , however it is ok to destroy a developing baby- totally unacceptable and illogical if you look at it.

Answer 3

One thing that you are not taking into consideration here, is that the majority of kids who are in group/ foster homes are there because either the state took the kids away from the parents or the parents gave them up when they were older. Anyone who works in the adoption system will tell you that the first children to be adopted are the babies. So when we are talking about a young girl giving her baby up for adoption, we are usually talking about a process where the girl and the adoptive parents come together before the child is ever born and agree to the adoption. In other words, the baby already has parents waiting before he/she is born. My sister went through this when she was pregnant with her twins and her son later. For each pregnancy, she had literally dozens of couples (just of the same faith she is, because she went through a church sponsored adoption program) lining up to adopt her babies. She ended up keeping them all, but if she had given them up, she would have had a large choice of homes to choose from. There are so many couples desperate for a child of their own, and many do not stop at just one. I know a couple who adopted my cousin's baby. He was their second adoption, and they planned to adopt more.
You are also making the assumption that ALL group/foster homes are bad places. I have had 1 friend with a bad experience, but I also have neighbors that are foster parents. They are a very loving couple and treat those kids as if they were their own, no matter how long they stay. The kids want for nothing. My husband and I have even considered becoming foster parents when our children have grown (we have too many right now to qualify). They don't all get "thrown out into the world". Not to say that it never happens, because I have seen it, but I have also seen children raised by their natural parents treated poorly and thrown out into the world.

Your concern is valid, but really I think it applies more to children that are put into the government system when they are much older. Do the baby adoptions take away from those children? I would say not as often as you may think. The couples who adopt the babies, want babies, not older children, and they are willing to wait for a baby to come along rather than adopt an older child. Perhaps the system would be better if more people were willing to open their homes to older children.

Answer 4

I disagree w/ your statement. A large majority of people who adopt want a new born/or an infant. When I was single I went to 3 different adoption agencies-the first 2 encouraged me to adopt an older child or a special needs-the last agency put me on the list for a new born. From what all of the social workers and directors told me most people who are adopting prefer new borns/infants because they are thinking they are getting a "fresh start/no problems". So it is harder for older children or special needs to get adopted vs. new borns or infants-so I would encourage a woman who is pregnant
to give up her newborn-because the child will get adopted.
Unfortunatley I had a failed adoption-the mother changed her mind and decided to raise her 3rd baby (she was 21 still living at home w/ an elderly parent and thought financially she couldn't take care of another baby and all children were under 3).

I think how you also have to view it is that someone who chooses to adopt is making a knowing decision to be a parent and wants to wants to raise and nurture a child even though they didn't physically have this child. Sometimes some pregnant women aren't able to care for the child-whether it be for financial, maturity (too young), or many other factors.

Answer 5

This is a touchy subject and everyone has their own opinion. This is mine only: I am pro choice although I don't think I personally could have an abortion. I am very proadoption because I am an adoptee. Adoption is a great option and if done correctly and legally, a child can be given the chance to grow up in a loving home. By the tone of your paragraph, it sounds like you would feel guilty giving your child up but not guilty for aborting it. There is something seriously wrong with that!!!!! How about this, if you don't want a child, use birth control or keep your legs closed!!! If you are fortunate to have a child in the future, I hope you will love it and enjoy all the blessings that experience will bring you. If not, please give your child to someone who will love it forever.

Answer 6

I'm sorry you have had negative experiences with being adopted. I was adopted too and really can't say I feel the same. I think when people make comments like, "Just have it and put it up for adoption," they minimize and dismiss the feelings of the mother carrying the baby. So, I don't care for that either. On the other hand, I don't think that people who aren't able to care in the way they want to for children should be raising them. It's bad parenting waiting to happen. And, I'm not in favor of abortion either. I guess in my opinion, adoption is really the best option for some people. It's not very often that I get to hear the other side of the story (yours) though I know it happens. It really makes me think. I wonder what we, as a society, can do to fix this problem. Every person deserves a loving family.

Answer 7

What about safe sex? I've heard too many stories of "I had unprotected sex and now I'm getting an abortion," like that's a form of birth control. I say use protection and we wouldn't have such a debate. In addition, there is the morning after pill that a woman can take within, I think 3 days. Why women wait until 3 or 4 months to contemplate abortion, is beyond understanding. In addition, living with the fact that you aborted a child for the rest of your life has to be tough.

And . . . my opinion on the foster care system is that there are many cases where children are adopted or even if they are in the system, at least they have a chance like you and I to make a choice to do something. Many one or two parent homes produce children who are thrown into the world at 18 years old. In addition the children who stay in the foster care system are those who were abandoned, abused at usually an older age. Newborns are adopted quite easily, actually. Plus there are open adoptions where you can keep in touch with your child.

Answer 8

I would check into specifics before you go yelling about children in foster homes, etc.

I haven't done my research either so I could be wrong, but my gut tells me that all *or most* of the kids in foster, group homes etc, aren't newborns who were put up for adoption. They are children who were taken away from unfit parents, etc.

Everything I've heard from people who adopt is that it is hard to get a young infant, especially from America *which is what some people prefer*. Which is why when a couple really wants a baby baby they sometimes turn to international adoption.

Giving a baby up for adoption is very much preferable to abortion. Abortion should still be an option that is open to people, but hopefully only used in the most dire of circumstances. *my personal opinion*

At least by giving the baby up for adoption they have a chance at life. *shrug*

Answer 9

The children you speak of in foster or group homes were usually taken from abusive or unfit homes when they were older.
Adoption is different than foster care since you take he child into your home for life.

The facts are there that infants are adopted more often then older children. There is such a long waiting list for infants that I have never heard of one going to a home actually. Unless it was a crack baby perhaps. Even then, I know people that adopt the sick infants as well.
The people wanting to adopt children on average are those who love them and cannot have any of their own.
I would much rather takes chances on adoption over killing an innocent child.
How can anyone justify taking a human life just because they are supposedly afraid that the baby will have a bad life?
You would rather sentence your child to death?
I don't think so.

Answer 10

You couldn't live with the guilt of adoption???
What about guilt from abortion??
I'm not in favor of either, but I had an abortion 15 years ago, and I still live with guilt to this very day!!
No matter how much I ask forgiveness, or how well I live my life today, that guilt will never go away! I often wonder "what if that child could've made someone else's family complete?"
Or "what if it could've made my life complete" even though I thought there was no possible way for me to provide for it at the time.
I don't know of any healty newborns that don't get adopted! That's what so many are waiting for. It's the older kids that the biological parents have already f$%ked up mentally that no one wants! But I do see your point....makes sense, it's just that theres a side to every story!

Answer 11

If you are not the kind of person who supports adoption coz you dont want ur kid to be handed over to a total stranger then i am sure you would never support abortion also coz it doesnt even give a chance to that baby to come in this world. And I really dont undrstand why people justify abortion by giving stupid reasons which they themselves can also not understand. I dont think anybody has the right in this world to decide for the unborn baby. Of course you have a right to live your life and make decisions for urself but this right should be exercised while having unprotected sex. If you cannot control urself at that time then i think u should face the consequences no matter what.