Mother-in-law is a manipualtive cow who likes playing mind games - should i give up on seeing her? She wants to my husband and I to be divided, if he sees her and the rest of the family on her own she will be happy and thats what she wants. What should i do as i already feel awkward in her presence anyway.
2007-04-20 03:17:36 · 20 answers · asked by Jenny_USA 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
your husband shouldnt go to see his mum without you. your mother in law is going to have to accept you. your husband is the one that should be making her see this. its down to him to sort this out.
2007-04-22 21:49:05 · answer #1 · answered by fat momma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In an ideal world you would need your husband to give you his support against his mother. He is married to you. You are not married to her! Is this likely to happen?
If so, then good. He and you can visit her and be united in your own relationship.
If not, then...you have to rise above her bitter spirit. If I were you I would explain to my husband, clearly and calmly, without any ill-temper or blame put on him what you think of his mother's behaviour. It is important to say it is not her you are disliking but the way she behaves!
At least then, when he visits he knows the true reason why you don't and he can maybe keep an eye or ear open for her bitchiness so he might come to know what she is really like too.
Some mothers-in-law see their sons wives as rivals with whom they are locked in some sort of battle which they need to win. At least if the problem is out in the open between you and your husband she may see him without you but she has not "won"!
I wish you lots of luck in this.
2007-04-20 03:28:47 · answer #2 · answered by Who Yah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never let another woman have that much control over your house or family-EVER! You fight for your hubby and family and maybe if you try to sit down w/ her (in front of ur hubby) and explain how you feel, you could clear the air. That way everyone would know where you stand and how you feel. I wouldn't let anyone come between my husband and myself. I'm in it for better or worse and I'll be damned if a bad mom-in law would ruin my happiness. LOL
2007-04-20 03:23:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Got the same problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Matter of fact when I read this outloud to my husband he asked if I had written it!
I just stop my contact with her. I talk to her ONLY if I have to. My husband goes to visit her on his own (the children do not go) and he is FREE to see her anytime he wants without me interfering with that visitation. He usualy goes when he is off work and I am doing somthing else.
You do not have to see her but a man will always want his momma. If he realy loves you than anything she tells him can be settled between you guys.
2007-04-20 03:26:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how awkward you feel in her presence and how delighted you would be if you didn’t have to see her, ALWAYS accompany your husband to his visits to her. If she is manipulative you don’t want to give her any more chances to put things in his mind. A least she will limit what she can say to him because you are present.
Good Luck!
2007-04-20 03:27:05 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i HAVE THESE SAME ISSUES AND GUESS WHAT IT IS NOT YOU. SOME TIMES MOMS HAVE THE TENDENSY TO NOT WANT TO ALLOW THERE BOYS TO SPREAD THERE WINGS. MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE A LITTLE BOY AND HIS MOM SAYS THIS IS NOT HERE GRAND SON. HE LOOKS JUST LIKE HIS DAD NOT TO MENTION THAT HE WAS THE ONLY MAN I HAVE EVER BEEN WITH. SHE ALWAYS WANTS JUST HIM TO COME TO HER HOME. SHE TALKS TRASH ABOUT ME AND OUR SON AND I FINALLY SAT DOWN WITH MY HUSBAND AND I ASKED HIM IF HE REALIZED WHAT WAS GOING ON AND HE SAID THAT HE HAD BUT HE WANTED TO SEE IF THINGS WOULD GET BETTER. HE NEVER WENT WITH OUT ME BUT 1 TIME AND THAT WAS WHEN HE REALLY NOTICED. IT WAS LIKE A GAME OF WHO COULD RAG ME THE MOST AND HE LEFT 10 MIN AFTER BEING THERE. HE TOLD HIS MOM THAT IS SHE COULD NOT EXCEPT HIS FAMILY THEN HE COULD NOT BE PART OF HER'S. NOOOOOOOO YOU SHOULD NOT LEAVE YOUR HUBBY AFTER ALL THAT WOULD MAKE HIS MOTHERS DAY. OLD BAG. TELL HIM. TELL HER YOU REAILIZE WHAT SHE IS TRYING TO DO. OFCORSE SHE WILL DENIE IT BUT I PROMISE YOU WILL FEEL BETTER.
2007-04-20 03:26:33 · answer #6 · answered by liz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Bible says you are supposed to leave your family (mom and dad) and cleave to your spouse. If your husband allows her to divide you two up your marriage WILL fail. If you have to completely cut her out of your life then that is just what you have to do. Eventually when she realizes the two of you are going to be together no matter what she will hopefully come to her senses, if not, so be it.
2007-04-20 03:24:09 · answer #7 · answered by ♥itsme♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to speak with your husband about this. I understand that it is his mother, however, you are his wife and he needs to make his mother understand that wether she likes it or not you are here to stay because he loves you and you are his wife. If she doesn't like it she needs to keep it to herself and just deal with it. Or you can even speak to her if you are comfortable enough to do that and just let her know that you aren't going anywhere, that you love your husband and will be a part of the family.
2007-04-20 03:23:36 · answer #8 · answered by Bakken 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
specifically go to her house and be around her as much as you can, be her best friend and kill her with niceness, ask her out to dinner just the two of you, call her everyday and tell her intimate details of your love life with her son and how happy you are together and that will drive her insane, say you cant wait to have children THEN dictate how the rest of their lives will pan out, dismiss her views entirely and talk about how much you love spending time with her - at worst this will make her like you!
2007-04-20 04:19:48 · answer #9 · answered by almost_angelic_jane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try not to get bound up in her harsh ways. Ignore her childishness. The best thing to do is continue to see her, be nice and polite and smiley.. kill her with a bit of kindness, that way you know your conscience is clear and shes the one with the problem
2007-04-20 03:25:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋