I am in the process of splitting up with my husband, its not something I wanted to do, but felt I had no choice. When I told him I was walking away from our marraige, he huffed and puffed a little bit, but that was it, he accepted it.
Im Totally devestated. I really love him, and if only he would fight for our marraige we could get through it, but his lack of feelings is one of the resons I am leaving.
Is there anyone out there who can relate to what im going through? Does he really not care? In the early days he always said he would be devestated if we split up and there would never be anyone else for him, that he would fight to get me back. I just wanted him to show he cared
2007-04-20 02:47:49 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I absolutely know what you are going through right now. The day I kicked my husband out, I felt I was doing the right thing. I love my husband with all my heart, but his lack of emotion torward even our children put me over the edge and I filed for divorce because of the mental abuse he was putting the family through. My husband said the same thing yours did to you. I begged him to go to counselling with the entire family. He absolutely refused. My husband didn't put up a fight either, because it's what he wanted, and I gave it to him before he did it to me.
2007-04-20 02:56:01 · answer #1 · answered by fiend4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just went through it. I was in a relationship for 18 yrs had three beautiful children and I stayed the last 7 years trying to keep my family together, but it's not worth it. My kids saw what was happening and it was devastating their lives. Now all is good. When I left my ex said he thought he wanted me to go and now that I'm happy with a wonderful man who loves me and my children he can't stand it. What you need to do is go away to a family members for a day or two and see if that scares the love back into him. My ex said the same things and they don't realize what they got til it's gone
2007-04-20 03:00:12 · answer #2 · answered by karens lovinlife 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never threaten divorce to get a reaction. Once that is out there you really cannot take it back. If you want to be in the relationship you fight for it...not try to toss it away. Try talking to him about the problems and what he thinks about your whole situation. Ask him flat out why he is so disinterested in you and your relationship and then go from there. Never say the WORD divorce unless you are serious and want to follow through.
2007-04-20 04:04:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me as if you announced you were leaving but it was really a ploy to get him to tell you he loved you and get him to do his best to stop you leaving. Now it looks as if it's backfired on you.
If you married him, you took him for better, for worse. Now you're walking out. He can't stop you and he no doubt knows that. And if you really love him, you won't go.
IF you really love him, go and tell him you've goofed it. And make sure he knows how much you love him.
On the other hand, if all you want is someone who'll fawn on you, you may not get it from your present husband -- or from anyone else. Marriage is a two-way relationship.
2007-04-20 02:55:28 · answer #4 · answered by Feinschmecker 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you left to get a reaction from him and unfortunantly you are not getting the one you expected.
Have you tried counseling? Have you talked to him about your feelings? Have you tried things to "spice up" your marriage?
So often we get into ruts, it's like we become room-mates rather than best friends and lovers. We take each other for granted.
If you love him and you want to be together, you are going to have to fight for your marriage. Ask yourself if it's worth it and how much you are willing to give and fight to stay together.
Don't settle, have in your mind what you expect of your relationship and what you want.
My husband and I divorced over issues with his ex. We now Date and are happier than we have been in years. I have my place and he has his. We now appreciate the time we spend together and don't take our relationship for granted.
We actually get the best of each other and don't have to deal with each others day to day dirty stuff.
2007-04-20 03:46:09 · answer #5 · answered by hi_stk_n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not going to like my answer and I'm going to get a lot of negative ratings for this . . . but I am being honest.
I feel you are being childish. It sounds like you issued a challenge to get his attention - reminiscent of a child getting in trouble in school or with the law in order to get mommy and daddy's attention.
If you wanted him to fight for your marriage and "prove" his love for you - you should have talked to him or gone into counseling. Throwing out the "D" word (Divorce) is just childish. Be a woman, swallow your pride and get marriage counseling if you truly wish to save your marriage.
If not - get a good divorce attorney and live with your decisions.
2007-04-20 03:01:31 · answer #6 · answered by Yasi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Realize that this is like a death, and the grief and mourning take time to get through. Be forgiving of yourself, be patient with yourself, and realize that the healing will not begin for a year, after the divorce is signed, sealed and delivered. It takes time. Give it time.
2007-04-20 02:54:05 · answer #7 · answered by John B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, wait a minute here. You said splitting up is not something you wanted to do but you instigated it and your measure of his commitment to a relationship is that he is not fighting for it...
If your description is accurate then this is your doing not his... how is he to fight for a decision you have already made. I love my wife very much and am committed to her but if she came to me and said that she was leaving I wouldn't get into this test of contrived circumstances either.
He shows you not by his response to your "created" relationship test but by his actions in the relationship itself. If there is reason for you to leave, then just leave, this is not a contest. If there are reasons for you to stay then decide to stay. But the decision is yours, not his... and certainly not by some willfull creation of yours to test his commitment to you.
2007-04-20 03:04:08 · answer #8 · answered by jryanwinterhaven 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever sit down and talk with him I mean really talk as well as listen. If he does not know what is wrong why would he fight to save the marriage?
2007-04-20 02:51:46 · answer #9 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As time passes by most men show less emotions. Men and women are different, they just don't show emotions like women do. You do have a choice, instead of spliting seek marriage counseling.
2007-04-20 02:54:56 · answer #10 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋