I am a 27 year old from Kentucky and I have trouble making friends because I can't seem to trust anyone. I have been made fun of when I was younger because I was sick. Now that I am older I can't seem to get past that. I am married and my husband says it is stupid that I have problems with this. Is that true because I have tried hard and seems like I just can't do it. How can I get past this because my husband will not seem to help me? The one best friend I did have my husband hated her and we no longer talk. I feel lonely and need someone to talk to .. I have a job but when I get off work I would like to do something besides clean and cook dinner. btw no kids or i wouldn't have time to worry about friends I suppose lol.
2007-04-20 01:12:43 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If your husband calls you stupid, you need to express to him that he cannot talk to you that way. And please, don't think that having children will help things get better. You sound like you simply need self confidence and your husband should be the one person you can count on to help you believe in yourself. You need to start with this relationship with your husband and then start branching out to other relationships.
How is your relationship with your parents and siblings?
Were your feelings dismissed as a child so that you now accept this treatment from your husband?
It sounds to me like you have surrounded yourself in an emotional protective shell. These protective shells routinely have many, many layers to them and opening them, peeling them back, one by one, can take time. If you care to e-mail me, we can start the process and change your outlook on life for the better. Feel free to e-mail me at Cybertoothedkat@yahoo.com
2007-04-20 01:31:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is hard to trust people in this day and age, look what people do to one another.im sorry you had to deal with ridicule in your youth,kids can be so mean sometimes if only they knew the affects it has on people later in life.I disagree with your husband and I think it is rather harsh of him to call something you feel strongly about stupid. He should support you more than that and be there for you when something is troubling you. His job is to support you not to judge you. And he pushed you away from the one friend you did have to turn to, so what does he think you should do? Let this bother to the degree that it drives you nuts? Men lol ill tell ya. So you dont bond with people because of your trust issues am I right?Really you dont have to, you can just enjoy the company of associates. To be honest I am with you on the trust issues. "friends" can sometimes do more damage than they do good.I would not let anyone too close because the world we live in today doesnt contain a vast majority of honest kind people. The minute you let them get too close they puul out the knife to stab you in the back. You will come across a rare few who are different but finding them takes time. I would choose a couple people who interest me get to know them a little and only become as close to them as you feel comfortable. If they turn out to be dummies at least you wont be giving up a best friend. Just associate yourself as much as you can and eventually you will pull the needle from the haystack, by that I mean you will find a person who is willing to earn your trust at a pace that is comfortable for you. If they are truly good hearted they will be understanding of your trust issues. A real friend isnt pushy or overbearing they are comforting and kind. You just have to start on a friendly level that doesnt require any trust and work your way up from there. i hope you cantake something from all of this and apply it so you can find what it is you desire. Good luck- jamie
2007-04-20 08:41:19 · answer #2 · answered by dydasgirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is wrong of your husband to think you are stupid. Have you considered counseling, professional or with a pastor? You definitely need someone to talk to and obviously your husband is not going to be any help. Kids can be cruel and I am sorry you were made fun of. You need to learn to like yourself. If your best friend was good for you, ask yourself why your husband hated her...was he jealous???? I think you sound depressed and need to at least talk to your doctor about this. I wish you good luck
2007-04-20 08:19:48 · answer #3 · answered by dana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your husband is mean!
i had issues making friends- i was smarter than most people my age... i'm 40 now, and dont have that problem...
i am in KY too
2007-04-20 08:16:44 · answer #4 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
will you can't make friendship happen just be yourself and learn to let go more
2007-04-20 08:18:25 · answer #5 · answered by easymoney 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋