My boyf of 3 yrs refuses point blank to give me a peck on the cheek or mouth let alone give me a cuddle if i visit him at work. He says its very unproffessional and doesnt think its right especially in front of his colleagues. He is a Manager & works for a big store.
I have argued this on numerous occasions saying its fine to greet your partner without having tongues going down throats, just a peck is a nice greeting but he still wont do it.
All he does is say hello, wont even touch me.
His colleagues all know of me & know we are an item. He has showed me off as his girl many times as if im a trophy or something, so he is definitely NOT ashamed of me!
However ive noticed he greets his work colleagues with a peck on the cheek?!!
We are a great couple and very much in love.
Is there any method to this madness? Is he right? He says i should just get used to it. Im having trouble trying to understand his mind, and tend to feel like im in a loveless relationship!
Help
2007-04-19 23:54:06 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In the office, I'd say he is probably right to keep his private life out of it. You can't really fault him if he prefers to remain strictly professional.
But if he is gonna insist on that, he must also understand that he needs to give you loads of comfort, love and affection when the pair of you are away from the office - which he clearly isn't doing, otherwise you wouldn't be asking the question.....
2007-04-20 00:03:07 · answer #1 · answered by Stealthbong 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, and thats all it is remember, I think that if he pecks his colleagues on the cheek but not you, then its a little bit strange.
However, i don't think that means he's cheating on you, or doesn't love you or anything like that.
Sounds to me as if he's a bit of a flirt at work (which is fine, most people are when they're away from their partner and its not a bad thing!). And he doesn't want to stop flirting with these girls, especially as flirting often makes life easier at work and everyone's happier etc etc.
So, he doesn't peck u on the cheek in case he gets the cold shoulder from the other ladies.
But these other ladies all know that you two are together, so they're not trying to muscle in on your man.
In conclusion, I think don't worry about it too much. As long as he;s affectionate at home and when you two are out in town/shops/restaurants etc, then its fine.
Its obviously just his way.
2007-04-20 00:13:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...As a military wife, I gotta side with him on this one. Granted my husband is in the military but a job's a job, especially when you have a position like manager. When my husband's in his uniform, he won't touch me (my display picture was only a quick stolen moment at his basic training graduation) and when I went to visit him at school last month, we had to take care of some things on base and while he was in his BDU's (cammos) he couldn't even look at me. It was kind of weird at first but then I thought back to when he'd visit ME at work before he joined the military. I know for a fact that we weren't allowed PDA but even if they had never mentioned it as a policy, I wouldn't have wanted to be lovey dovey with him on duty.
I think you should respect the fact that he holds up such a high standard of being a manager and even be proud of him. I'm a little biased on this one since I'm living a military life but I know I wouldn't want to walk into a store and see the manager hugging and kissing his wife or girlfriend. It would be like he's taking time to blatantly neglect his work and goof off no matter how innocent or how short the gesture. You say that you're a great couple and very much in love...you shouldn't feel that you're in a loveless relationship because he won't kiss you or hug on you at work. I think that's unfair to him and I think he has the right idea not showing PDA...But that's just my view on this.
But him greeting his co-workers with kisses is very strange. I'd kill my husband if he ever did that. I'd talk to him about it.
2007-04-20 00:05:41 · answer #3 · answered by Kara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he greets work colleagues with a peck on the cheek, then there is absolutley no argument why he can't do the same with you.
When my bf visits me at work (very rarely) we always give each other a hug and a kiss, and we don't care who's about.
2007-04-20 00:06:34 · answer #4 · answered by luz2loz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel, but being a male in management myself, I act the same way he does.
It may be a bit irrational, but if my wife comes to visit me at work, I do not hug her, or kiss her.. I'll say hi, and be polite, and introduce her as my wife.. but I will not show signs of affection at work.
With him giving work colleagues a peck, is this at work? If so.. then he should be giving you one too, but if he only does that in social settings, then I would say he is perfectly normal.
2007-04-20 00:01:31 · answer #5 · answered by Joe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No he is not right...
If you were my girlfriend I would alway great you with a kiss and a passionate one and if collegues did not like that , tought titty make them jeaous.
People like him have not a clue what being professional is as worry about rubbish and crap.
Being professional is simply doing a good job. Having the right tools and equipment to do the job and having the experience to handle it whn it does not go to plan.
Someone like that is too cold and un loving and needs to get a lesson in lightening up by risking loosing you.
If I had two plumbers come over I really could not give a dam if they kissed as long as they fixed my pipes properly.
you should tell him if he really loves you prove it by kissing me infront of collegues. Or maybe have collegues tell him he should lighten up and take the plank out of his back and act like a humn as he is not acting professional but a cold hearted tw-at who is not impressing anyone.
In fact as manager and the older male... it should be his job to act as mentor and councellor for the younger employees helping them partner up with those they like and acting as a sort of matchmaker...
Like the older pirate who tells Will to get his act together and kiss Kirea knightlys character in Pirates of the Carribean or similar role
ie the older generation helps the younger generation
2007-04-20 00:08:17 · answer #6 · answered by N-BS ANS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand his point. I wouldn't want my wife to come to my work place and want more either. If he loves you and you have a great physical relationship outside his work place, then you don't have a problem. If he refuses to kiss you in private, the he has a serious problem. The only thing that is strange and I certainly don't do it is kiss work colleagues.
2007-04-20 00:04:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all men are comfortable with public displays of affection and you should just respect the fact that your boyfriend is one of them. Him kissing his colleagues on the cheek is different to kissing you on the cheek because with his colleagues there are no sexual undertones. As long as he's showing you affection in private then don't get your knickers in a twist. He is obviously crazy about you because everybody knows who you are. Just respect his professionalism and enjoy the private displays of love and affection you get from him.
2007-04-20 00:02:01 · answer #8 · answered by Helen B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His macho image of what he's supposed to be in the store is the question. I'm certain he's all man when you two are alone. Why he chooses to be stoic when there's people he pecks on the cheek at work I don't know.
2007-04-20 00:02:38 · answer #9 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought it was ok of him at first, since he is a big time manager, and he might not want anything to go wrong, but then you said he kisses other employes? What douche bag! I really don't know why he does this. Maybe you should sit down with him and ask. But that might jeprodize your relationship. It might be a phase. Just let it pass.
2007-04-20 00:04:07 · answer #10 · answered by Mark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋