When I'm upset...?

Question

I really just want to be left on my own. I know about what makes me upset and I know how I can get through it.

When other people know or see that I'm upset they all want to try and solve my problems.

I appreciate it, I really do, but when I'm in that frame of mind I can be really irritable and sometimes say things I don't mean.

My best friend also hates it when I'm upset and cry but it's my way of dealing with things. How can I make him understand this?


(I have been to a doctor and counselling 3years ago and diagnosed with PTSD and Depression.)

Also when I'm feeling this way, one of the reasons I can't handle other people around me is because I have communicate how i'm feeling with words.

I've tried writing when I'm feeling like this but I just come to one big mental block.

Is there anyway I can let people know I just need to be on my own for a bit without being so harsh?
How can I let someone (when i'm ready) know how I feel when I can't even understand it myself?

Answer 1

Just say " I appreciate your concern but please respect my wishes and give me some space.I just need some time to sort this out". When my parents died I had a lot of stress in my life and I found that I was able to help myself by writing things down.Let me clarify that these writings were not for anyone's eyes but my own.I was able to express my thoughts freely without being judged by others.I did not worry about spelling, grammar or anything else.These thoughts were an emotional release for me.I could vent without being concerned about hurting other people with my words. I could later decide if I wanted to express the thought to some else or if it was better left unsaid.Personally I found that I was able to be totally honest with my feelings. I wasn't sure if you meant you would try to write your thoughts down for others to read but were not successful at it.All I can add is that your friend may not realise the value of tears.Sometimes we have tears from laughing too much, tears from a good surprise, tears of joy and tears of sadness.Tears of sadness,like a rainshower,are cleansing. They allow us to release all that is negative at the time.Tears allow us to heal. Remember to live life one day at a time.I hope you have continued success on your life's journey.Take care.

Answer 2

I feel like that at times and I tend not to burden others with my problems, just put on a false front and move along in life, and reflect in my own time.
Early in the morning works best for me, up by 0500 as a rule and as the sky begins to lighten think of all the good things I have.
We don't have war, wholesale starvation or devastation. I may not be rich but I have a roof over my head, a heater to warm me when I'm cold and an adequate food budget to feed me 3 times a day

Answer 3

Well... both you and the other person might feel bad if you tell them you need to be alone... In such circumstances, it's best to pour your thoughts into a diary, as many words as you like as long as you like to distract yourself. When you're writing something, people aren't going to think you're upset, are they?

If you transfer your feelings into words in black and white and can read them, it gives you so much relief and ease from the pain that after sometime, if you read your words again, the matter seems rather trivial, and you somehow, inexplicably, gain the courage and the stamina to deal with your problem. I don't think this is true... I KNOW this is true... It has worked for me when I was going through a bad phase, and writing in a diary made me feel so much better and stronger that eventually I didn't need to write in it anymore.. I could deal with the problems myself without the help of a book. So.. I URGE you to try this solution... it really will help you, trust me. :-)

Answer 4

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Answer 5

Sounds like you are uncomfortable with expressing thoughts and feelings...do you have any idea why that is? Do you feel weak when you share those things? Are you uncomfortable with the attention? Afraid someone might try to influence how you handle things? Does it make things more real when others know it and keeping things to yourself lets it seem less extreme? In other words what do you gain by keeping things to yourself?

Answer 6

One of my friends was like that once, he sometimes became really depressed and when we tried to help him he sometimes even became violent, although he was normally a really quiet person.

We used to have a card system where he'd have a red card and he'd take it out when he wanted to be left alone. That really worked for him and us, because before that he'd lock himself up in the bathroom and people thought he had an eating disorder.

So I think it would be good if you devised a system where you'd be able to tell your friends that you want to be left on your own without having to say that to them. And before that, I think it would be good to reassure your friend that you're fine and that you know how to deal with it, because I used to be on the "friend" side of this situation, and believe me, I was really worried.

I hope it works for you, and take care.

Answer 7

Einar had a good suggestion, but I feel you would be better served to address the cause of the problem. See http://www.ezy-build.com/~shaneris on Page 2. The techniques there should help a lot. Also http://www.mental-health-today (-today.com/ptsd/index.html)

Answer 8

Have a talk with your friends that you have depression and that you just want them to leave some room for you, but i think it is good to have someone to talk to when your feeling down.

Answer 9

maybe that's why you are stressed out. perhaps you need time to yourself, and tell everyone else to leave you alone for a little while. i know thats hard, i'm going through the same thing right now. i had to tell my family and friends that i need my "space" and to leave me alone. it's not easy, but you have to do it.
just tell them, i love ya'll but i need some time alone.

Answer 10

tell them what you've just told us. it would be a good idea to tell them when you're not in that frame of mind so you can tell them completely w/o getting nasty. gotta love those people, their hearts are in the right place but they just don't get it.