Can a father who hasn't seen his child for 5 years due to himself take me to court?

Question

I had a brief affair which resulted in my child. He never wanted to no and hasn't seen the child since she was 1. He txt me that he loves me and cause i said no to seeing him he sent a solicitors letter to see his child and take me to court. He is a control freak and has said some very disturbing things to me. he has never given any money or bought any thing for his child or even sent a card. He has known where we live for over 5 years. So I was very shocked to get the letter. He is not on the birth certificate and has no parental responsability. If he had been different in at the start of her life I would be only too pleased to involve him. He is a stranger to my child and it has upset her and changed her whole personality. I am very worried. Please help with advice.

Answer 1

First. He is not on the birth certificate, he is not directly entitled to see her at all. Also this means that you can never claim child support from him which makes it easier for you. Why he has got a solicitor involved is only to scare you and he must know he has absolutely no chance if getting anywhere near you or your daughter so please don't fret. It's his ****, not your daughters. Taking you to court will be costly as it's doubtful he will be entitled to legal aid. You should see a solicitor too and outline that because his sudden concern has only just surfaced after 5 years, it's obvious that his intentions are of no benefit to the child. This Man is a pathetic excuse of a human and does not care for your baby. Be careful and watchful, it sounds as though he has mental problems too. Good luck.x

Answer 2

Most important thing get yourself a solicitor. If he is not on the birth certificate he does not have parental responsibility but the court might order DNA tests. A contact centre could be used, a solicitor or Cafcass has to make a referral to this when ordered by a Judge to do so particularly if the Court orders a report and the Judge thinks contact would work. Things like contact by letter, card only can be ordered so do not panic that it will be a physical contact. If your child is only young then this would be taken into consideration. You might not like him and describe him as a control freak but often the men behave differently with their children. Remember its your daughter that is important in all this try and remain calm at all times and be clear and presice in what you want for her.
Oh and if you do have to acknowledge he is the father you will probably be told to go to the CSA to apply for child support, good luck on that its a nightmare worse than the Court case!!
Do not worry plenty of women in similar situations go threw this there are plenty of people who can help you.

Answer 3

I'm afraid he has rights if he is the biological father whether he's had contact or not. The only time they rule this out is if he poses any threat to the child. If you go to court the court will decide what is in the best interest of the child regardless of how you feel. I can understand your concerns but if they do give him access rights then they will probably suggest supervised visits ( with you present) at first and then to increase the length of access slowly so as to be less traumatic for the child. I would employ a good solicitor who will address your concerns and wishes to the courts if he proceeds with this. As you have had no contact with this man for so long you really need a legal and binding agreement. If this man breaks this contract you can go back to court and have it reassessed but of course you have to abide with the order as well! I know this is really unfair on you and you feel you are being dictated to by a virtual stranger who has shown no interest financially or emotionally . Of course you also need to apply for maintenance now and if I where you I would ask if you can get back payments after all being a Dad isn't just about picking them up for a few hours a week, he has to be responsible in all areas. I hope this works out for you I expect you wish he would just crawl back into the woodwork I know I would. Been in quite a similar situation myself, it makes you feel you don't have a say in your own childs future. Good luck, try not to worry!

Answer 4

He has the right in law to do this, but you have lots of rights too. I would advise you to take the letter along to a local solicitor and ask for your free half an hour with one of the solicitors, or you can go to the Citizens Advice Bureau where legal advice is free to everyone. Either way, get some professional advice.

If you decide (or are ordered by a court) to allow him to see your child then you can insist that all visits are supervised by an independent third party, like a social worker or even a trusted but impartial friend, and then you will know your child is not being left alone with this "stranger" but you not have to have any actual contact with him yourself.

Be sure to keep texts or letters etc as evidence, and keep a written record of exactly what he does and when, who else (if anyone) was there to witness it, times and dates, etc. It may not seem significant, but all this will help you if it ever comes to court.

Answer 5

Get an attorney right now. If he does get parental rights, he will be forced to pay for back child support since he has been aware of the child and the child's location since birth. Before you go to court, ask the attorney to request a mediator and supervised visitation only, since the child does not know him.--Just in case he is awarded parental rights. Also, be sure to tell the attorney about the disturbing things you mentioned. If there are any adverse effects, you can go back and ask that he pay for counseling due to the trauma the child is experiencing. It is a shame that he has neglected this child for 5 years, and now wants to upset the child's life. So sorry that you and your child are going through this.

Answer 6

So sorry but yes he can all he has to do is prove he is the biological dad and his solicitors will arrange that if necessary, but he will have to start coughing up child support too, be honest though if he is the dad maybe he has grown up and deserves the right to know his daughter, don't panic because you can try for supervised visits due to the fact the child doesn't even know him, good luck and get a solicitor :)

Answer 7

The judge is going to look for the best interest of the child. Also, since he is not on the birth certificate and or has contacted or supported this child he is no saint in the eyes of the court and is opening up a can of worms here. If he wants to push the issue I would put this child in counseling and assure her she is not leaving you. Also if she has no interest in seeing him then make it be known. Good Luck.

Answer 8

my daughters dad hasnt seen her for four years he ran off never paying a penny no cards etc so i feel really sorry for you,as i know he will never get in touch but your ex probably will have a right with him being the biological father but the courts will give him an ear full he'll have to back pay all what he owes for the last five years etc , and it won't look good if hes been an *** and not bothered up to now,but i would seek legal advice anyways tell the lawyer what he's like and what hes said to you in the past etc and if visitation is granted lets hope is supervised then you can rest a little easier good luck

Answer 9

First of all, sweetheart, he is your child's father, and he does have rights to see her and responsibilities also.

He has the responsibility to pay child support, and the right to see her.

If you are really concerned about your child seeing him, and it makes it upsetting for her to see him, then I would schedule visitation that is monitored by an officer of the court, that way he won't try anything toward your child.

I would recommend talking to a lawyer or an attorney to see what your rights are, but he does have parental rights, but if you are concerned about her safety, then there is definately things you could do.

Like supervised visitation, that is what I was trying to say earlier, sorry, early in the morning, just having first cup of coffee!

Answer 10

in the eyes of the courts he is the biological father of your child. regardless of him being there for your child or not he has a right to have access to your child. the fact that he has not contributed to her financially will be a bad reflection on him but never the less he MAY still will gain some kind of access to your child.
I am in a similar situation in regards to my child's father has never laid eyes on my son. my son is almost 2 years old and we have had nothing to do with his biological father neither financially or otherwise. I know in the back of my mind that one day my son will ask or his father will come looking for him. so i know how you feel.
All you can do is put your child first and do whats right for him/her, weather it be giving him access to your child or keeping him away from you child. Only you know whats truly best for you child. Don't let the courts that that decision out of your hands.
Best Wishes, I hope all goes well.