So many people listen to other people and most of the time there just giving the wrong advice because they have no one or they been through a bad experience themselfs
2007-04-19 22:11:52 · 16 answers · asked by Chocolatemac 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sometimes it is OK to listen to a second opinion
2007-04-19 22:15:01 · answer #1 · answered by AdultMALE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is any harm in seeking advice from other people outside of your relationship - it does depend who you're asking though! Sometimes an 'outsider' can be more objective than the people in the relationship, especially in the early stages of a relationship when feelings are intense, and there are a lot of hormones flying around(!) People who know either or both of you very well and are genuinely your good friends are probably trustworthy, and if you have a strong relationship with your family they can be very insightful and helpful. Admittedly, there are people who have the best intentions, but still give bad advice (and sadly, it does seem to be family-members more often than not!) And if there are existing tensions between you, especially regarding a partner, they may not have the most balanced perspective.
What you say about past hurts or hang-ups affecting the advice people give you is very valid too, sometimes it can make people cynical, and colour the advice they give. Equally, it can give people a special insight into relationships that are floundering, and you may be able to learn from their hurts/mistakes.
And of course, sometimes people just plain don't think about what they are saying.
I have a rule when it comes to other people's advice (about anything):
I welcome it, but I reserve the right to ignore it!
2007-04-20 05:43:10 · answer #2 · answered by inimitable_heidi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a great question!!! I think people sometimes insist on their opinion being heard - and obviously when you hear things it does impact on your relationship.
i think a lot of the problem as well, from experience, is that people ask for your opinion - and its very hard to say no when put on the spot!!
People are always going to talk about their relationship to their friends - and friends will give their opinion on it -be it good or bad - its up to the two within the relationship to realise that the only people that really matter are the two in it!!!
xx
2007-04-20 05:23:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So I had this friend named Jordan that started dating this girl, Michelle. It was all fun and games for everyone, and then we all started getting weird vibes about her. We tried to share our feelings about this with Jordan, and he refused to listen. We didn't see him again for a year. When he showed back up, we found out that they got married, had a kid, and got a divorce. The reason for the divorce? It wasn't his kid, and she knew it. So... from that example, a year of pain and what not could have been avoided had he listened to us. _That's_ why people listen to others when getting into a relationship, because you know what? You're probably not thinking clearly... Glands tend to get in the way.
2007-04-20 05:21:03 · answer #4 · answered by Suriyawong 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never take advice from anyone for a relationship only you know truly how you are feeling. Go with the heart.
Too many people give too much advise when they are not in a relationship. I know what you mean.
2007-04-20 05:19:47 · answer #5 · answered by sunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you're right :-s , my fiance and I started having problems long ago when he started listening to his brother in law and sister's advice!
I was so pissed off!!! Luckily now he doesn't talk to them anymore after he realized the mistake he almost made with me!
Is like, there's some people, and I don't know why, mostly relatives that give AWFUL advice just because their lives suck and they want everyone around them miserable as well! Aarrrrggg >:-[
2007-04-20 05:18:59 · answer #6 · answered by Lizzie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i only give advice if i've been through a similar experience, but often people on the outside can see things clearer than those caught up in the emotions of their relationship
2007-04-20 06:41:18 · answer #7 · answered by chakra girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its stupid really but then sometimes an outsiders opinion can help u see the situation from a different angle...
on the other hand no outsider can really understand what goes on behind those closed doors...to be able to dish out advice
2007-04-20 05:23:57 · answer #8 · answered by Butterfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends who are the 'other people', is it a family member that have to depend on that family member how close they are with each other..
I dun think frends should interfere with each other relationship...
2007-04-20 05:17:57 · answer #9 · answered by Yuu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes ppl will understand what they are on about cos they've been there? i'm not sure?
maybe they really need help and maybe they thought it would be ok to ask for advice then it will make them think if u get me and understand more?
2007-04-20 05:29:47 · answer #10 · answered by amy_baby123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋