Ok, so I'm trying to make this as short as possible. Guy was away in Iraq for 6 months...for 4 of those months we talk...fall in love..he seems to be deep in his emotions..me not so much. he talks about marriage and knowing in his heart of hearts that he is the one for me and WILL be my husband. Then he comes home and now all of a sudden its about chilling when he feels the urge. Did I get played. I know some of you will feel the urge to make me feel lower then I already feel, but to those that actually have a heart please break it to me easy. Be real with me, but try and be compassionate. I'm really hurting behind this. I really trusted him and he knew the heartbreak I've encountered in the past. If you know the song..He dedicated "Turn the Page" by Bobby Valentino to me and said that every word was how he felt..how can he not really love me? I'm torn..and confused..is it something deeper or what?
2007-04-19 18:59:41 · 10 answers · asked by I_L0VE_MY_@!RMAN 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Okay more info...its like this..for so long I rejected HIS advances..and he promised me he was sincere. I told him things may change when he gets back..ya know his feelings might change, but he swore that they wouldn't. he still tells me he loves me and he still gets jealous if it seems another guy is in the picture..but then Its back to the hanging out when he feels the urge. I try to be patient, but I dont see how he could be all in my face one minute and then so "distant" the next. I'm just confused..it really makes no sense. I mentioned just letting him go. I asked if thats what he wanted and he asked "why would you let me go"..i'm just confused...but I'm getting fed up..
2007-04-19 19:18:02 · update #1
have you talk to him and ask him what's wrong? don't pester, clarify the matter and make it known that he might have given you the wrong idea and that you need to be sure once and for all where you stand. i may not fully understand your feeling but i have been in the same situation or rather may still be in the same situation...
he told me that he likes me but now, he makes me insignificant and like you said, seeing me whenever he feels the urge and to a certain extent i feel 'cheated'...it's still difficult cos i see him around and we talk and enjoy each others' company but i have gone past the hurt. i guess it's a blessing that i get to see that side of him...i know he likes me but just not enough to make a commitment and i don't need anyone to string me along. there are better men out there. we just need to know them. it will take time. take all the time you need but ask youself if you really want to be someone like that.
2007-04-19 19:09:11 · answer #1 · answered by labrin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really know how you feel.. coming from the other side of the fence though.. i had a girlfriend it wasnt just a keep her around for the hell of it thing.. and it wasnt a marriage type one either.. i left for iraq and i felt the same way.. you get scared that everything will change without you back home.. i wanted to marry my girlfriend too. i said what sounds like the same type of stuff he did. He prolly got way jealous if you ever said you were going out or something. I dont know what he is doing now. If you are stll together or what. I would say just try and forget about the whole marriage thing and try being boyfriend girlfriend again. If you two are broken up now.. just pretend you dont care and he will be back to the same overseas attitude..
2007-04-20 02:09:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
War will tear a person down. He was probably feeling lonely and very insecure while in Iraq. Many of these guys even jumped right into marriages because of their fears. He more than likely truly felt like he was being sincere then. Now he is back. He is a very different person from the one that left. He has seen the evils of war. It make one grow up very quickly. He may now realize that he was moving way too fast, as you had indicated in the beginning of your paragraph. If you have fallen in love, be patient with him. If you are not in love, it is probably best to let him go until he begins to adjust to being home. It is going to be a difficult adjustment period for him. Good Luck!!
2007-04-20 02:12:59 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so you didn't love him then did when he talked about marriage. what does that say? that he's not the cause of your heartache, the fact that marriage is now not an option is. it can be that he idea of marriage and it falling apart is what hurts. maybe you fantasized too much of this perfect marriage, actually creating it in your mind to have it be divorced from reality when he said otherwise. technically, you were being "played" on all sides. what you need to do is stop dwelling on it. research shows that if you just smile you will feel happier (facial feedback model). don't dwell, take up a hobby and that way you can find someone with a similar interest that could have the same views on marriage as you. peace.
2007-04-20 02:09:05 · answer #4 · answered by Flabbergasted 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for you. Some people are capable of loving so much, while others are just inept. You were there for him when he needed you, someone back home to talk too. Don't shut down though, you probably feel that he is'nt nearly as much in love as you are. Live to love again, eventually you get lucky. Letting go is tough, especially when you belive with your heart. Time will heal though, good luck ;)
2007-04-20 02:08:35 · answer #5 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can rely to what you are going through now. Life is a lot of questions that sometimes we don't know the answers. Just keep on trusting the Lord for His guidance and give wisdom how to decide. Always remember people changed. I don't know what is his reason but am sure he had. If he don't like you anymore just let him go. Time will heal... God will give you partner that will make you happy.
I know it is very painful. Specially you expect from him too much.
Hope you can cope up immediately.
God will guide you to your journey of life.
2007-04-20 02:14:34 · answer #6 · answered by gracee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
War is tough and a woman at home to write to is important to a soldier--says things that maybe he doesn't mean. You are home all gooey over it and now he is home--relaxing and maybe rethinking it all--his choice--whether you like it or not. you don't live in a song--so get a grip and ina month--ask him about what is between you two--no sex---no nothing until you find out the truth. I think he probably is war weary so give it a month---stop nagging--smile and relax---if it is meant to be--it will be--if not stand up and move on---lose the song dreams, too...sounds odd.
2007-04-20 02:08:12 · answer #7 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would feel the same if it was someone else. You should work at fullfilling your own life and then it's not so hard when someone leaves you
2007-04-20 02:06:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you confuse me. you say he is deep in his emotions..me not so much. so, did you read the lyrics?
2007-04-20 02:10:29 · answer #9 · answered by asimplequestion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit your boy down and have a serious pow-wow
2007-04-20 02:04:24 · answer #10 · answered by kishb_21 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋