I have a reputation for being a big, arrogant jerk at school. There's a girl whom I have been madly in a love with for a while. We barely ever spoke, except for sometimes she said "hi (my name)" in the hallways.
A few months ago, we started up a conversation in a class of mine. One of her friends started teasing her for 'flirting' with me, and ever since then, she's been rotten to me.
Even though I am a pretty huge jerk, I wasn't like that to her. But ever since she started behaving this way, I just couldn't help but pick on her like I do everyone else...
In my cooking class, we were paired together. After 2 days, she personally requested to be switched into another group. Until this happened, I thought that maybe she did like me. I fear that if she once did, I've driven her away.
I've never gone out with a girl before, and she's the first girl that I've ever loved, and I don't want to ruin my chances with her. How can I fix this?
2007-04-19 18:03:46 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Four words: Stop being a jerk!
If you change your tune, then eventually most people will change their minds about you and stop judging her for talking to you.
Frankly, your attitude is the problem. If you don't change it, you will NEVER find someone worth dating. Even if you're not a jerk to her, she will never date you because of how you treat other people. People will judge HER for dating you!
2007-04-19 18:07:19 · answer #1 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop picking on her. Also you need to find out what you did/said to upset her. Unless she tells you what exactly that is/was, you cannot fix the problem. Once she does tell you, then you should know what to do from there. Also it might help to tell her that you only picked on her because you like her. If you really like this girl (and it sounds like you do) then you might have to do things you wouldn't otherwise do. Like give her a note with a rose telling her whatever you have to say. Girls love that stuff. Even if you are a big arrogant jerk. Good luck!
2007-04-20 01:17:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Big, arrogant, jerk? Are you one of those guys whose is quarterback of the football team, drop dead good-looking, and walks around like he owns the school? She may have just be embarrassed about having someone say that she was flirting with you. Quite possibly her friends may have warned her about you being a "jerk" and all, and she really doesn't want to have to deal with the thought of flirting/potentially dating the biggest jerk around. My ex-boyfriend was a complete jerk too, to everyone but me, I never understood why though. He was absolutely amazing to me, but downright mean to everyone else. I think you made a huge mistake when you picked on her like you did with everyone else. Just try to show her that you can be a good guy. Whatever you do, if you think she's worth it, don't give up.
2007-04-20 01:11:17 · answer #3 · answered by Brooke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all being an arrogant jerk won't help your situation at all with her or anyone else now or ever. Maybe she was being "teased" by her friend for flirtying with you because of how you've been acting towards others. How about you try being nice to everyone for now on. Appologize to the girl and tell her how you feel. If she doesn't want anything to do with you don't "tease" her at all ever again. She just might see that you've changed and you're "niceness" might bring her back your way.
So, don't ruin it for yourself.
2007-04-20 01:21:34 · answer #4 · answered by CUTIE PIE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's the first step to your goal to accept the fact that you're a jerk!
if you know that ugly spot of your personality, all you need to do is try to change and i think your feelings for this girl is making you becoming more mature. Obviously girls don't like arrogant guys, and by the way other people also don't. the fact that she's asked to be far from you is natural. everyone would feel uncomfortable being with people whom they think have bad opinion of them. you need to be kind with her and try to get her trust back. this should resolve the problem, but be patient it might take more than a week or two...
2007-04-20 01:16:27 · answer #5 · answered by T-spooon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I congratulate you on accepting truths about yourself. Most people never figure out they are big jerks.
Now that you have that out of the way you should evalute the attributes about yourself that contribute to jerk status. This is the tough part. Determine what behaviors or traits you can change about yourself. I must warn you, you may find that you are who you are and some things about you may never change. Trying to change is not the same thing as changing. Trying to change often leaves you stuck lying to yourself and others. Unfortunately acceptance of oneself is not always easy.
Sorry for such bad advice. I guess the best thing you can do is be yourself. Unfortunately that may not always be appealing to others. But have faith that it will be appealing to the right person. She's out there somewhere.
Trying to change or convincing a girl to like you will only double your frustration.
2007-04-20 01:24:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound young. This is a valuable life lesson for you. You probably act like a jerk because you feel awkward, but, it is important to be considerate of others and sincere. When you can behave in this more mature way, you will be seen as being more of a man. Why don't you apologize to her and tell her how much you like her? Good luck! There is always hope!
2007-04-20 01:14:24 · answer #7 · answered by jom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost....do you really want to be a rotten jerk and be despised by others for the rest of your life? No, of course you don't! Who would want to be that way? So, first of all you MUST CHANGE......that doesn't mean it's gonna happen overnight, but you need to understand exactly why you do what you do and resolve those issues so that you can enjoy a HAPPY life, and hopefully find someone to spend your life with. BUT.....until you change your ways, your chances with this girl are probably slim, but give it time and give yourself a chance to change, and prove to others that you have changed.
2007-04-20 01:09:45 · answer #8 · answered by rocketgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have only one chance. That is to change your reputation. Any girl that sees you treating others like a jerk will not be attracted to your personality, regardless of your looks. You need to start treating all people with respect, or you will either end up with no one, or have to settle for less than you want. The smart girls are going to avoid you, and if they don't, their friends are going to constantly remind them of what a jerk you are.
Start making apologies, and start treating people with respect. It is time to grow up.
2007-04-20 01:13:19 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This would be kind of tough dude , first you got to convince your friends that your not a jerk because as a lady myself i would not want to go out with a jerk . Image is very important , dont treat her like the way you treat others . give her some special attention . Look her way , smile to her . try to click with her friends , they might put in a good word for you .
2007-04-20 01:14:13 · answer #10 · answered by BABY GURL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋