we don't know them very well, except to say hi in passing or wave. they lived there less than a year and kept to themselves. should we go over and talk to her? leave a card on the door? act like nothing happened? we really don't know what the best thing to do would be.
2007-04-19 18:00:38 · 20 answers · asked by CRYSTAL L21 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Certainly acting like nothing happened is not realistic. And she is not going to come over to you.
I think sending a warm card acknowledging her terrible loss is the way to go. Ask if there is anything you can do right now?
Then, once she's gotten the card, stop by just to say hello. That way, the awkward part of the conversation has already been covered by what you wrote in the card and you can simply ask how she is and what you can do to help out.
2007-04-20 00:27:51 · answer #1 · answered by 9-11-01 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take over a caserole or some kind of meal that she can just heat up and offer to help out with anything she might need doing. Suicide is a very rough thing to deal with and she may have thoughts that she could have prevented it or even be responsible for it so she will need a kind hearted person to just listen to her and perhaps offer a hug. Do not act like nothing happened. Tell her you heard about what happened, don't go into descriptive detail, and offer to help where needed. Give her your phone number so she can call you. One thing you must not do is say you understand how she must feel....even if you have had the same experience. You can empathise with her later on when she has had time to sort out things for herself. Just listen and pour the coffee. Another thing you could do is make sure she has someone who is looking out for her, checking on her regularly. If she doesn't and if your neighbours are in agreement perhaps you could take turns stopping in to see if she is okay. It is always difficult to know what to say when someone dies, a nice card or flowers work well. Hope this helps.
2007-04-20 01:22:51 · answer #2 · answered by tuxedocat 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There's never a wrong time to show kindness to someone. However, this probably isn't the best time for a whole new introduction. I agree with some others...take over something they can have for dinner. It's so nice when people do that when you're mourning. It's just one less thing to worry about. If that's not possible perhaps you could send flowers to her home with a card offering your condolences and saying that you're there to help her if she needs you.
2007-04-20 01:43:57 · answer #3 · answered by Some Guy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that it was a suicide need not stop you from being cordial.
Drop by with a card and flowers or a meal.
Extend your condolences as you would to any of your neighbors.
Do not talk about why did the person suicide or how.
Just be polite.
Don't stay too long and these people are still in mourning.
2007-04-20 15:12:18 · answer #4 · answered by Cammie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't act like nothing happened. At least leave a card to let her know there are people out there thinking of her. It might help her reach out during a time when she needs to the most.
2007-04-20 11:30:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only wrong thing to do would be to act as if nothing happened. If you can, you should go over. If that makes you uncomfortable, then leave a letter or card for her.
2007-04-20 02:04:53 · answer #6 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave a card and maybe even some small flowers. Let her know that her neighbors care. Maybe even put your phone number in the card. She might have kept to herself out of shyness, this way it leaves the lines of communication open. If she wants to talk, she will.
2007-04-20 01:10:12 · answer #7 · answered by Rae 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with Malone 14- a time like this is not the time to make new friends. It is great that you would like to console her, and maybe like the others said, a little note left for her, saying if there is anything she needs, maybe you could help. But do let any contact right now be at her option only....sometimes, the most we can do is to leave someone alone.
2007-04-20 01:16:03 · answer #8 · answered by Ed Norton 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't yet leave a card or go out of my way talking her. It's not really any of your business yet. But if you bump into her and the neighbor decides to talk, then it is okay. But not right now. Your neighbor, she probably doesn't want to be felt sorry for. Or she could prefer to stay low key. When she decide to, then it's okay.
2007-04-20 03:48:45 · answer #9 · answered by anarchy0029 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would wait a couple days so you don't get in the way of somebody "important."
Then just go over, introduce yourself and tell her she is in your prayers. Maybe she'll invite you in or maybe she'll say thank you and close the door in your face.
Let her know that if there is anything she needs... ya know
... Depending on how it goes maybe you could offer to pick up her kids at school or something like that. I'm sure she's feeling alone and overwhelmed.
2007-04-20 01:12:28 · answer #10 · answered by chattylc 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋