I'm over exhausted and extremely stressed out!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

I am a single mother of a nearly 3 year old daughter. I go to school full time during the days and nights. My daughter has become very clingy to me and sometimes its hard for me to drop her off at preschool because she cries so much when I am leaving her. She whines a lot when shes with me but i think its mainly for attention which i give tons of. School is also very stressful right now as I am graduating in 5 months. So I have a bulk of my hard classes now and a looming exturnship next quarter in the med field. I never have time to clean, I barely have time for a shower, my life is in shambles right now and I don't know what to do!!! I can't take a break from school because I've been here long enough! Someone give me some pointers please!!! What do I do??

Answer 1

You sound like you need to relax, if you ever need to talk to somebody call me back at... 718 LOL...

nahh, seriously, i think that you should ease up a little, try cutting up stuff that you don't really have to do and spend sometime with your daughter doing something to release stress, like sitting on the couch just relaxing and you would be actually teaching your lil' girl something good (like patience) by just sitting on the couch with you with no TV on (i mean, the time that you spended writing this question up you could have been cleaning up or something). That's what i would do, but what do i know, i'm just 22.

If you ever need to let go of something or talk to someone let me know, i'll do my best to help you out and i promise i won't ask you for something in return.

Answer 2

You have needs and so does your little girl. Some of those needs are pretty similar.

Are you a churchgoer? There are several good reasons to attend a church, but one of the best is the sense of family and community a good congregation can offer. The time this would require would be relatively minimal, and you could find some help with your daughter, possibly an older woman who would be glad to spend time with her and free you for some of the other things you need to do. Best of all, there would be little if any cost to this.

Problem is that building that kind of relationship takes time, and you don't have that much. You might take a hard look at her preschool and see if there are reasons she doesn't like going there other than the loss of contact with you.

Other than that, the only thing I can suggest is help from relatives, such as your mom, or an aunt. (Female relatives would probably be better than males.)

You have to continue to love her and help her feel secure--not always easy with a 2-3 year old.

These conditions will continue to some extent after you graduate and go to work. You will have to help her adjust to school and other environmental changes.

I have been a single parent, although my son at that time was a teenager. Kids of all ages have needs and need parents to love and reassure them. The best gift you can give a child is love. Love will help you find ways to cope, and love will be returned.

I don't know if I have helped any or not--but I hope I have helped give you some much-needed encouragement. Have you noticed that the key syllables in encouragement spell "courage?" You have a lot of that--you've already shown it. Keep it up and be strong.

God bless you and good luck in the future.

Answer 3

I've been there too, take a deep breath. DO NOT take a school break, it's only 5 more months till freedom, hang in there. When your daughter gets clingy at the daycare you MUST drop her and GO! Don't hang out. After working at a daycare in college the worst thing that moms could do was stand around and hold them or wait, after 2 minutes they have forgotten.

Take a 10 minutes for yourself every day for a shower. As soon as your little one hits the bed, grab a shower. Its the most heavenly 10 minutes of your day, trust me. Cleaning is important too, remember to do a lot of little things so you don't have a big mess to clean, (put your dish in the sink right away, put things from the cabinet up right after use) it helps alot! Get your daughter involved. When you come home from your day, have your daughter pick up the clothes and put them in the hamper, or pick up her toys, now it may not be a perfect clean, she's three, but any help will do. And it teaches her that she needs to help and most children enjoy helping. If you need to study and she's all over you tend to her needs first, food bath bed or whatever she needs then she'll be more likely to leave you in peace. Don't stress. Think of how you'll feel when you're all finished and what better life it will mean for your child. I applaud you. Good luck and take one day at a time.

Answer 4

You need time out. The weekend is nearly here, forget the housework, the chores, etc and have some relaxing time with your child. She's also at her wits end. She needs you around and you're not here. She doesn't understand that you also need your education. Can you not space your schooling out more? It would be way better than burnout. Make sure all is well wherever she's being cared for too. A phone call will set your mind at ease. Talk to your daughter, reassure her. 3 year olds understand a lot more than we give them credit for. If nothing else, she will understand the love in your voice. Make sure you're getting plenty of quality sleep.

In short, 5 months doesn't last forever. Then you'll be able to rethink where you are and what the next step is.

I use a product called Rescue Remedy (a natural flower extract) for when I'm whiny, exasperated, upset or when my child is whiny, exasperated or upset. It works and its safe for both children and adults.

Answer 5

Hang in there! 5 more months and your DONE!!!! Here are a few things to try, to help yourself, and your daughter. PP was right, the worst thing you can do to her is hang out while she whines and clings to you at daycare. Tell her you love her and then leave. Its hard for you yes, but its harder on her if you hang out and prolong it. Its torture to the little one! Trust me two minutes after you are gone, she is onto the next thing. Your daughter is probobly picking up on your stress level right now. And one thing that is going to help her and you is toning it down. When you are her are together, try to keep things scedueled, you would be surprised how much the predictability will help her(and you!) For instance your time with her might look like: now we are going to read. Now its snack/dinner time. Now its park or bath time. Keep your life in perspective. A few deep breaths never hurt, the cleaning can WAIT. When too much is too much, take a ten minute break. MAKE time to take care of yourself, so that you can take care of business. If that means a power shower ten seconds before you have to mad dash out the door so be it, but make the time. Best of luck and congrats your almost there!

Answer 6

If you are just 5 months from graduation , then maybe
It is time to beg family for help .
Is there a mom , aunt or sister on either side of the family that can cover kid care until grad day ?

FYI , there is NO way you are giving her tons of attention if you are in school full time . That is a total fallacy and the child IS being traumatized by it.
They already have major evidence of how harmful these day care situations are .
Children under 6 need FULL time family care .
3 years old is far too young to be subjected to that and she will suffer the consequences .
Go through every family member in an attempt to find her good care , the price she is paying is toooo high .

Answer 7

Ask your mom relative or someone else to babysit and play with your daughter [while you're there] so she'll learn to be less clingy to you. Try to do stuff where you leave her with someone [you trust] for a few hours. In time start leaving for longer periods of time until she's less and less clingy to you. But don't let her get too "unclingy" for you.
Meanwhile while you're off, go somewhere nice and quiet like a library and study there. Go study with classmates and such.
When its the weekend take a break and go have a girls night out with friends or something. Hanging out with friends always takes away your troubles for the moment...and helps makes life seem not so stressful.

Answer 8

If you have been sticking it out this long 5 months isn't that much. Since your in school go to the counselor and express your concerns. They can help you. If you don't you could develop depression. And that's not good for you or your daughter. I praise you for your efforts you have made. Your daughter knows you are stressed from the hard classes and is clingy. It has a domino effect. Sometimes we are not aware how stressed we are until our children show it. Good luck.

Answer 9

Drop your daughter off and don't look back. Eventually, she will understand that her crying is ineffective when you drop her off. She will stop. My daughter uses to cry bloody murder when I dropped her off. I felt sorry for the daycare workers. But I had to keep going. Eventually she realized that no matter how much she cried, it wasn't going to help anything in that particular case. So she stopped.

You've only got 5 more months of school left. You've already come this far. You can finish and it will hopefully all be worth it when you do. That's what you have to look forward to.

Answer 10

First of all, breathe. Now, this is totally normal for your daughter. See if your parents or neighbors can help a bit. Instead of bringing her to preschool every day, see if someone else can help. One on one attention is so important at that age. Definetely find some time for yourself. When your daughter is asleep, do something for you. Just something that calms you down. School, I understand it is stressful. Just calm down, don't worry or completely stress out. It wastes your energy. Best of luck!