Ok i have been dating this guy for 7 years and out of that i have a son with him.I gave my best years to him and focused to make him happy .Mean while he made some bad choices and i chose to leave .We talked about marriage but i could clearly see that at the time it wasn't going to work .Now after all this he wants to come back and is trying everything to get me back.He had say over and over again how sorry he is for hurting me and that he had changed. In the mean time i know that i dont want him back i gave to much of myself to him when i was in the relationship and i finally feel free now. I have realized that i was making him happy (or tried 2) instead of thinking about myself aswell.My ? is do i talk to him when he calls ? Cause when he call he just want to talk about me instead of asking how our son is. And i made it clear to him that i cant go back to where i was .So what do i do?I dont want him to think i want him back cause i REALLY dont.So any advise guys?
2007-04-19 15:45:02 · 10 answers · asked by rblt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
For 7 years my world revolved around yours and now that I am free, there is nothing you can say or do to convince me that you have mine, or our son's, best interests at heart. Once again, this is about what you feel is in your best interest and as much as I want you to be a part of our son's life, it ends there. It really does. That isn't easy for me to say... I know it isn't any easier for you to hear. I can't offer you more ...
... My heart just isn't in it any longer.
2007-04-19 16:04:56 · answer #1 · answered by terterryterter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say, just show no interest in what he has to say about what you consider is THE PAST, in the phone calls if you know what i mean. Have you sat down with him and told him there's no more for the two of you? Let him know that clearly. Also, let him know that he is MORE than welcome to be around your guy's son but not to redeem himself in a romantic relationship. There should only be the love you share for the son you have together.... :o) that's the biggest concern. I admire that you can Look beyond the past between you two and realize your son is most important. hope that helps.
2007-04-19 15:51:59 · answer #2 · answered by rapunzel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your on the right track. Move on. Sure he has parental rights and responsibilities but you need to avoid interaction with him it you are worried for yourself emotionally. Use a go between (parent or friend) wen he comes to see his son. Don't deny him of his rights or anything that may upset him, but definitely separate yourself from him and by an answering machine (phone with caller id service) to properly screen his calls. More importantly, start interacting with boys and get yourself prepared for when you want to have a relationship again.
2007-04-19 15:58:02 · answer #3 · answered by yourguessisasgoodasyours 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when he does call, just keep it strictly about ur son...if he veers off of that, then tell him...i can't talk to u about that...and let him know that ur not interested in getting back with him...offer him friendship and let him know that all ur willing to offer, take it or leave it...but don't shut him out, u do have a son with him...so, but just be honest and keep reminding him if u have to...if he continues, then let him know that u won't tolerate this behavior too long...either he calls about ur son or don't bother...but at least let him know what he's doing...so he has a chance to change that...good luck....
2007-04-19 15:55:49 · answer #4 · answered by ro19_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really like valentinemiracle's answer--I was so stuck on what to suggest, and then I read that and it all seemed to make sense.
And if, for some reason, he doesn't want to talk to your son, then you know that you have a real scumbag on your hands, and that he doesn't deserve to be a part of your lives anyway.
2007-04-19 15:52:34 · answer #5 · answered by Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hand the phone directly to my son when his dad calls. When my son hands the phone to me...I hang up. He can text any important news he must tell me. LOL It works! My x has a wonderful g/f now. Good luck
2007-04-19 15:48:50 · answer #6 · answered by HeavenlyAngel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just one question for you.. do you or don't you love him? If you do, then I would say give him another chance, if you don't, then it's time to close that chapter of your life.. You decide!
2007-04-19 15:56:22 · answer #7 · answered by MC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just leav him alone. the more you speak to him the more his hopes will be up. break free completely
2007-04-19 15:48:58 · answer #8 · answered by simply_woman2001 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the sooner you break away from this guy the better. don't talk to him. it may take awhile but he'll get the message.
2007-04-19 15:53:34 · answer #9 · answered by Max 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think about it real hard, remember shame on him if he fools u once shame on you if he fools you twice
2007-04-19 15:48:38 · answer #10 · answered by soccerstarr11 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋