Boyfriends daughter?

Question

my boyfriend has a 10yr old daughter. I have been in his live since she was 5. She will not talk. I have never been able to talk to her. I have to use a pen and a paper. It sucks taking her out to eat cause she will not say what she wants. She will only talk to him. She has selective mutism. I hate when she comes to visit and I am stuck with her. If she would talk we could have more fun. She is also so in love with her dad. Its a little weird. We just had a daughter together. I just am lost in to how to get her to talk to me or my son. My boyfriend is of no help. He does not understand that I do not know her. So really how can I like her. All she does is stare at me. Then she will go talk to him in another room. What do I do. I do not want her coming for vacation and staying with me. Plus, she will not talk to my baby. My baby does not like her to hold her cause she exspects her to say something. She only talks to the baby in another room with her dad there. HELP!

She lives too far away for me to go to counseling with her. I have tried and tried to tell my bf that this is not a healthy situation. I mail her things and I never get a thank you. Only he does. She can write or e-mail but she won't. I really do not want my daughter around her

Answer 1

Shirley--the kid is troubled--and she needs help--no one wants to get it so since she enjoys the game so much--you play it too--ignore her and wait till she gets over the immature, chidish game age. didn't you see this behavior before ???---and why she is coming to see you if you don't want her around...let her see dad on HIS time--not yours. You better communicate this in a clear calm manner when he is capable of hearing what you say. I think he is playing stupid and is afraid the straighten the little brat out---she will probably hate him too after that---so she is a manipulating little witch, doing the ex wife a favor by making you all miserable---Take care of your new baby--forget this 10 year old brat---get tough and tell the old man to straighten out or he can endure the 10 year old without you. Relax, smile and good luck

Answer 2

OK I am sorry to have to say this and hate me if you want but if you have been there 5 years and still do not know the child and have not found a way to get her to talk IE. gain her trust it might not ever happen but you need to give her a break if she is autistic and if you have trouble liking this guys daughter there is more underlying issues there that need to be worked on again I am sorry to have to say this but I am a single parent and have dealt with autistic children and haven't had a problem getting them to communicate before just remember children are more open to things then adults

Answer 3

Maybe it's something as simple as, she doesn't like you. Maybe she's got nothing to say to you. Or it could be that there's something wrong with her. Has she suffered trauma of some kind?
What the heck is selective mutism anyway? Maybe she's jealous of your relationship with her father. You seem to have a lot of anger directed toward her. Could it be that she knows you don't like her and she does this to get back at you?

Answer 4

If I were you I would sit down with your booyfriend and explain how this situation is affecting not only you, but the baby too. I'm not sure how he feels, but maybe you could suggest that she starts seeing a therapist and then go to family counceling also if she still won't talk to you. Good luck!

Answer 5

sounds like you need to sit down with the boyfriend. Obviously trying to communicate with her is a lost cause, and the only other person she talks to/around is her father. After you 2 talk, then all 3 of you should sit down and "chat" atleast and let her know how you feel about her father is similiar to how she feels.

Answer 6

She is scared of something. Don't take it out on her though. Maybe she needs some therapy to see why she can't talk to you. Does she talk at school?

Maybe counciling alone and with you would help her. There's got to be a reason she won't talk to you.

Answer 7

she is being a brat and her dad is letting her be! i am sure her mom has put her up to this and if not she is doing it cause she wants her dad all to herself which is not healthy.he needs to wake up or this brat will ruin all of your lives.be careful and dont leave her alone with your baby she may harm the baby because of jealousy.if your boyfriend doesnt tell her to straighten up and respect you or she will get a spanking and i mean a good one and tell her until she acts properly with you and the baby there will be no visits at all because he will not choose her over you and the baby.good luck.if he wont leave him.

Answer 8

Do you know her most favorit things, like food, idol, bands, sport, anything. Bring her to her favorit restaurant, buy her tickets to see a circus show. Kid like that stuff. talk to her about her most favorit subject, science, jewllery making, songs. You know she is still a kid, i bet she is missing a femmale role model. It could be a long way to go but it is not too late to fix a good relationship.

Answer 9

She has to be seen by a specialist! She cant continue like this through life. Tell your bf this cant og on this way. Express your concern for her well being! You want to make it appear as though your really concerned for her weel being. Then he may take your advice.

Answer 10

You all are seriously going to have to have some counseling. It's weird enough for you to have to deal with, but I feel sorry for your baby. I feel for you and will Pray for you.Good Luck!