My best friend is getting married in 4 weeks, and my boss won't give me a few days off to go to her wedding!! She lives in California and I live in Pennsylvania, and I was planning on flying down there (my plane tickets were bought and everything) and we'd already picked out my dress because I'm supposed to be her maid of honor. The wedding's too soon to change the date. Originally my boss DID say I could have a few days off, but now he's changed his mind and says that it wouldn't be good for the company for me to be gone for just a week!!! I've known my best friend since we were 6 and she really wants me to be there. What can I do?? HELP!!!!!!
2007-04-19 12:25:47 · 28 answers · asked by Kaylie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I would tell your boss that if he doesnt give the time, then you are going to go to HR, also email him so you have a paper trail. Secondly, I would let him know that he gave you the time off, and you can't just change your mind afterwards. You have your tickets and a dress b/c your boss ok'd your vacation. From there, I would go to HR and let them know that this is completely not fair only requesting a week off b/c my best friend is getting married. While you are doing this, do check out other jobs just incase they say no, and go job hunting. You can always find a better job out there, dont limit yourself. And you should never be treated like that. Either way, taking a week off isnt the end of the world! Tell him, well it wouldnt be a good for the company then to completely lose me. Which is it, lose me for a week, or me leave and not come back? But have a back up job though when you tell them that, just in case they say leave if you want. And when you leave, tell HR what caused you to leave, that management was unfair and changed their mind so close to a wedding date..
Totally not cool!!!
Good luck girl!
2007-04-19 12:39:32 · answer #1 · answered by Mac 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's really sad that your boss decided to change his mind.
If your boss thinks the company may suffer if you're gone for a few days, you're obviously a terrific employee and perform your job very well. Other companies would love to have you. Your best friend's wedding only happens once, but there are a million jobs out there, and most of them would probably be much more flexible about giving you a few days off.
Also, you're requesting time off way in advance. There's no reason why he can't fit your vacation days into the schedule. You're being respectful to the company by requesting time off a month in advance.
You didn't mention what kind of work you do, but if you're in a setting where your boss also has a supervisor, maybe you should go over your boss's head. Usually that's not recommended, and it'll probably piss off your boss, but if he previously told you it would be fine for you to take these days off and now claims it's not AFTER you've arranged to be gone and purchased expensive airline tickets, you probably should go to his boss and explain your situation.
If I were you, I'd just start looking for another job, because if your boss isn't sympathetic to the fact that you want to be with your best friend on her wedding day, he probably won't be sympathetic to much else, and working for someone like that sucks. :P
Try talking to your boss again or writing him a short letter explaining how important this event is to you. If he still doesn't budge, go over his head. If that doesn't work, your company sucks, and you should put in your two week notice!
Good luck and I hope you go to your friend's wedding. :)
2007-04-19 14:10:15 · answer #2 · answered by ThirtySeven 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Apparently your boss considers you much too valuable to be gone during that period.
or, he's an ahole.
Your options:
1) Quit your job?...(ok, then what?...you won't be eligible for Unemployment).
2) Call in sick? (I'm a boss and we're not that dumb).
3) Just go anyway? Without approved vacation or leave?
I don't think so...grounds for dismissal.
4) Go over his head and talk to HR...not a good idea either.
5) Ok, you could try to reason with your boss once more...
"remind" him that he originally agreed to some time off and as a result you have already purchased your plane tickets and are committed to attend the wedding.
Oh and btw...let him know you're the Maid of Honor.
Explain in a calm voice how very important this trip is and perhaps he'll come around.
(Now...where do you keep those Vacation Request forms for him to sign if he agrees?)
2007-04-19 12:43:26 · answer #3 · answered by GeneL 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I utterly disagree that it concerns which one received booked first. That best applies while it is equivalent parties, like two marriage ceremony invitations. And even then, there may be all varieties of causes to be given the later one. Anyway, you are no longer letting your buddy down when you bail on her. If you authorised being the bridesmaid no longer understanding you would need to depart the nation to do it, then she modified the foundations. I can see wherein she probably just a little upset, but when she takes it past that, she's incorrect. When folks decide upon this form of marriage ceremony, they ought to have an understanding of that there shall be folks who cannot make it, and it will occur any time among now and April. It's the hazard in opting for an int'l vacation spot marriage ceremony.
2016-09-05 17:47:37 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well when people say just threaten and say if you dont get the time of your quitting what if he says walk...
but at the same time if this is happening you probably don't want to stay with this company.
you've already paid for the tickets you need to go...
you might have to cut your time off short...you said a week im sure it would be great to have that week off but maybe you can go there on a thurs afternoon and come back monday...
when he said you could have it off did you get it in writing? i always do that...i was in the same situation and got screwed and paid money to change the ticket but it wasent my best friends wedding...
believe me i had just moved to a new town and just started a job and my best friend decided to get married in vegas and i couldnt get it off and felt like crap...to this day i still feel terrible because shes a great matron of honor to me....
get to the wedding and got to the HR dept or your bosses boss and explain he originally gave it to you off and youve gotten your tickets and what not
2007-04-19 12:34:37 · answer #5 · answered by colie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Before you do something drastic (like quit), go to HR or higher up the food chain (your boss's boss) and see what happens. If that doesn't work, then it sounds like you plan on looking for another job. If it comes to that, good luck and enjoy the wedding. For future reference (to you and anyone else on this thread): Get time-off approvals IN WRITING, whether it's a time-off request form your company uses or just an email from your boss saying "Yes." That way, there is no last-minute surprise.
2007-04-19 12:42:22 · answer #6 · answered by Michael D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just go and talk to your boss again. He already said you could have the time off and you bought your plane tickets. Does your company have a human resources department, If so go to them and explain you were given the time off amd spent all this money. If that does't work go have a good time and see if you have a job when you get back. If you don't get a lawyer.
2007-04-19 13:39:48 · answer #7 · answered by dee g 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him and be strict, stirn and not budging attitude that:
1) Told me I could in over a months notice and obviously there is no emergancy 4 weeks in advance for me to stay.
2) I purchased tickets due to so. Non refundable and I am not letting a paid seat be left unattended.
3) If I don't have a job when I get back, that means I am turning in my two week notice now and I am going to get a job that has great employee staff care.
and hun, I have done that myself (teaching at pre school) and you know what, she wants me to work this summer as I have the summer off due to (My new job I left her's for with great working staff unlike hers) school is out. I put my foot down and still was able to have that resolvement conflict by not being a ***** about it, but being professional and still keeping that conduct while telling her off.
She is your best friend, a child hood friend with honors of being her maid of honor.
Be there for her as you would love for her to be at yours.
Cherrish that relationship you two have. I lost my best friend due to her behavior and it is something like that, that made me have tears on my wedding day.
yes your job is important as it keeps food on the table. But your friendship is more important. You can always get another job. but it is hard, almost in-existant to find a person like your best friend.
2007-04-19 21:01:02 · answer #8 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boss is being very unfair, go to your friends wedding as planned, you could call in sick for that week. What you do on your off time in NONE of your BOSSES BUSINESS! I would start looking for another job too. You could also go to your Bose's boss and try talking to them, you boss will NOT like it but too bad he is the one who promised you the time off, you purchased your airline tickets. You boss needs HELP! Have a WONDERFUL time at your friends wedding! Best Wishes! Congratulations to your friend on her up coming wedding!
2007-04-19 13:01:17 · answer #9 · answered by Janice 10 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to the higher ups. Your supervisor has a supervisor. As long as you have days you can take & you're in good standing, they cannot refuse you time off. And 4 weeks is plenty of notice.
If that doesn't work, you could always call in sick. It's a lie, but if you want away that bad it may work. Of course they may also require an excuse.
Personally, I love my job, but if they aren't will to give me my vacation days with notice, I'd look for a new job ASAP. Not the kind of company I want to deal with.
2007-04-19 14:41:27 · answer #10 · answered by layla983 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋