i have been seeing this guy for over 8 months now and have been having feelings for him and thought he was having the same for me. for about the last week he has backed off and today called and we talked. he said that i was coming on to strong and he just wants someone to have fun with and do things with. am i wrong to think that when a guy calls you and texs you all the time or has you buy a tooth brush to keep at his house or has you go with him to his familys holiday parties that he is wanting more than sex buddies? dont get me wrong i enjoy our time together and will keep seeing him but i dont get the mixed messages. am i reading between the lines or is he having feeling for me and freeked himself out? he said that he doesnt want to stop seeing me just wants me to know that he isnt wanting more than what we have now. how do i know when he is ready for more? i really need a owners manual...
2007-04-19 11:35:43 · 10 answers · asked by chatterbox 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Okay, lets take a look at you for a moment, You mention you are happy with things at the moment and like him....But are you willing to keep things the way they are right now for abit? You obviously are asking this question because you are...dissappointed.. or just don't understand what he means by that. I cannot give you a definite answer...he may either be A. scared of commitment...or B. just looking for a girl to have sex with, spend time with, but in the end of the day..if he finds someone else he likes more, he can drop you for her. I assume you are having sex with him...which in my opinion...is a no no..because personally, i believe sex and love go hand in hand...and if he isn't giving his love.. then he doesn't get any sex... but that is entirely up to you..
You mention he brings you to family gatherings...thats a definite plus.. how is he introducing you at them? How does he treat you at them? How is he treating you around his friends? Just sounds like he isn't ready for a real relationship right now...which i think means he's not ready for sex either... so you play the cards you want... stick with him? or find someone else that is more at your level, ready to love and commit.
2007-04-19 11:45:12 · answer #1 · answered by help! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good grief...
I see that Yahoo Answers is a site for repeated questions.
Look...be honest and see the big picture here. The guy likes you...sure. He especially likes the bedroom bennies. That is it.
She is obviously not THAT into you, especially as potential girlfriend or wife material, you are just...what do these guys say now days? Kickin it buddies. Or is it someone to kick it with? I dunno.
Just like so many other women, you dove into the relationship baring all (pun intended) and guessing that how you felt was how he felt. Wake up women, men can have sex with twenty different women within two hours and not give a flying log about any of them other than the fact she was a good f***.
So to answer your question, there are no mixed messages except on your part. You need to ask why are you sleeping with this guy? To show him how much you care for him and are willing to give? (He could care less unless he is screaming out in the middle of an orgasm.) Are you sleeping with him thinking it is a way to keep him? (Has been done hundreds if not hundreds of thousands of times by tons of women. All they got was screwed and ended up with children, or both).
Overall, the big picture is why are you doing what you are doing? After answering that then you might be able to understand and see what he is doing.
2007-04-19 18:52:11 · answer #2 · answered by Lashadon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is being honest with you and you want to read between the lines. Stop over thinking this, just go by how he treats you. If he calls, is nice and respectful, then things are good and will get better when he is ready. Don't try to rush him or you will push him away. However if he is distance then he is looking else where and was just trying to let you down easy.
There is a reason it's called dating. A toothbrush isn't an engagement ring.
2007-04-19 18:43:19 · answer #3 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An owner's manual...lol. Well just ask him how he feels, if he dodges the question then you know he is not ready for the question let alone a relationship, otherwise see what he says. Tell him how you feel first otherwise it would be akward.
2007-04-19 18:40:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably should've been seeing you once a week instead of acting like your boyfriend. You're not wrong to feel that he is relationship material, because he was with you a lot. That being said, he wants to date around.
2007-04-19 18:39:46 · answer #5 · answered by phillyfriek13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are lots of rule books for dating. I would take them with a grain of salt though.
The Rules
http://www.amazon.com/Rules-TM-Time-Tested-Secrets-Capturing/dp/0446602744/ref=pd_bbs_2/002-9659653-6988003?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1177022314&sr=8-2
That is the first book I thought of when I saw your question.
The second one is He's Not That Into You.
http://www.amazon.com/Just-That-Into-Newly-Expanded/dp/141694740X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-9659653-6988003?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1177022522&sr=1-1
If you need something more hopeful, try He Just THINKS He's Not That Into You.
http://www.amazon.com/Just-Thinks-Hes-That-into/dp/076242964X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_4/002-9659653-6988003?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1177022363&sr=8-4
They are available pretty cheap if you buy them used.
2007-04-19 18:40:20 · answer #6 · answered by Marilyn Green 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 8 months you should be able to talk about anything., Talk to him
2007-04-19 18:40:00 · answer #7 · answered by Sandman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oky dear dating is always will depend on YOU NO ONE ELSE.....it will depend how you handle things...also my suggestion always give space to them(guys)..
they dont like to be choke....actually its hard to tell if we were choking they cuz for us we were just doing what a person supposed to do when their inlove....
its weird to be honest...i'm in a relationship now...if my bf call/text me a lot...for some reason i got annoyed...but if he doesn't call me cuz his busy working i miss him a lot....but when he called me...i felt like i dont want to talk to him...weird ha?? lol
i guess guys are like that too....anyways dear this is all going to depend on you...good luck
2007-04-19 18:45:29 · answer #8 · answered by angel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is probably right, and he wont be ready for something more.. you are "ms right for now" if this isnt what you want, move on
2007-04-19 18:39:06 · answer #9 · answered by Joel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have sex with him
2007-04-19 18:39:44 · answer #10 · answered by pimpin_ed_92 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋