How not to be shy?

Question

Im a very, very shy person. I want to learn how to no be shy. I always plan to say so much and do so many things, but when it comes to the point of saying and doing things, I just dont do it. I have about no friends because im shy. I just broke up with my gf from after a year and 2 months. She always begged me to talk. She's the only person who really knew who I was inside. We both decided it was best to break up, I thought she deserved someone better than me. I never really called her much and we went out only 2 times cause I was too shy to ask her to go somewhere with me. This break up wanted me to not be shy. I am a really nice guy on the inside, and when men treat girls badly and with disrespect, I hate it. I like to compliment girls and I would like a serious girl, someone whom I can trust. I can only find another gf if im not shy, so what should I do? Sorry for so much writing and thank you!

Answer 1

I'm also a very shy person, though most of my friends will deny it. The reason is, I act like I'm not shy in the hopes that someday I convince myself that I'm actually not. Have you ever participated in theater or acted in any way? If so, those skills come into play here. No, you're not changing who you are. You're just ACTING like the confident version of yourself. It does take practice. It is also a risk - you have to risk making yourself look or sound a bit foolish because if you do, you have to ACT like it's no big deal.

Answer 2

This is a hard question to answer because I have a shyness issue, too! But here are some tips that might help:

Fake confidence. Even if you're feeling shy and nervous, ignore those feelings and be bold. If you keep faking confidence, chances are that after a while it will turn into real confidence because you'll see how people are drawn to you when you are outgoing and articulate. A.K.A. positive reinforcement!

But I can't say with certainty that you can make shyness go away completely so you may want to ask your doctor about sampling social anxiety medicine, like Paxil or something similar. Good luck!

Answer 3

I felt badly when you apologized at the end for so much writing since you shouldnt have to and it made me wonder why you dont have more confidence. I mean the purpose of this site is to write questions and some are very much longer than yours and no one apologizes. Are you afraid someone will get mad at you ? Are you afraid you will say something wrong? Everyone does at some time or another. Just try to talk . Actually good you broke up since it will force you to talk to make a new girlfriend. Ask questions is the very easiest way. Make a list of questions you could ask when you meet a new person and memorize the list! OK? Anyway, you will be fine. Do you have a job where you have to talk to people? Thats a start. Even McDonalds you would have to say' Do you want fries with that?" LOL

Answer 4

This is a basic matter of self confidence.

I had a similar problem when I was younger, being very shy. I could also not ask or do many things fearing the outcome.

So one day what I did was I decided just to ask people questions straight. what is the worse thing a person can say?

Just keep that in mind whenever you feel shy about something
"what is the worse thing a person can say". You must analyze the outcome and think of the worse thing the person can say or do and ask yourself "Can I live with the outcome".

Trust me 9/10 times the scenario is MUCH worse in your head, just live with that moral and your shyness will deteriorate in time

Answer 5

hmmm...my husband was extremely shy. Before we got together, I would try to talk to him at school and he would just look at me I'd say "Hey how are you?" and his response was "..." nothing!! I thought he didn't like me...finally he got the guts to ask me and I said yes cause I always like him. So after we got really close, I can't get him to shut up!! He drives me insane. I'm very out going and now he is much better about being shy, he'll talk to pretty much anyone now with no problem I think I rubbed off on him. There isn't anything to be scared of your not going to look like a fool. And even if you did who cares? Just learn from your mistake and move on to the next person you want to make friends with...I know its hard but I think all you can really do is suck it up and talk...once you get used to it it won't be bad!

Answer 6

1stly all the writing is fine, you say you are a very very shy person, well i used to be exactly the same, i was so quiet, but im not a shy person anymore some ppl say im rarther outgoing but anyway i lurned not to be shy anymore partly because i was sick of it and wanted to make a change so much!!, the things i did was just talk to people more and more, i know how hard it is to do and i know how easy it is to say, this is a website with more info
http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/shyness/index.asp

good luck my felow shy person!!!!
if u want to ask anything else add moi on [e-mail] (if u wanna)

Answer 7

How To Not Be Shy

Answer 8

well try to be spontaneous...i kno how u feel, i'm very shy 2...i went through the same thing w/ this guy i like. i was 2 shy to be around him, even to ask him out...then he turned me down cause i'm his sister's best friend...later on he went out w/ this girl i talk 2 and i cried...this doesn't have 2 deal w/ being shy but i regret it so bad...but don't worry...take the time 2 look at yourself in a perspective and don't change for anyone...EVER!

Answer 9

I know how it feels to be too shy. That used to be a very big problem with me, but not so much any more. Dont change anything about yourself; just get comfortable with yourself. Most people say "confident" but "comfortable" is better for me. Once you are comfortable with yourself, you will know how to be yourself around anyone. If you are a nice person, girls will eventually notice, but they will be attracted to you when they see that you are comfortable with being a nice person.

Answer 10

I know how you feel...although, im not quite that shy...oh yes, and way to preach on about how to treat women!!!

But yes, try taking public speaking classes or speech team or something...