what do i do not to be a bully?

Question

i have people calling me a bully but i'm not mean...

Answer 1

The number one thing is to listen to one another and to establish an understanding about it, with forgiveness and acceptance. A sense of humor helps. If two people clash, sometimes having a neutral party can help facilitate communication, despite personality differences.

When I worked in my godmother's law office, she was a very tough person to work with and to work for. So she would joke very openly about it, and everyone knew how she was, and we would deal with it. She warned us in advance when she was about to really push us. We just accepted the fact she can have an extremely controlling personality, but she has to have that character in order to run several major projects at once without question who's in charge and what's expected, or else nothing would get done. There is a reason she has to be like that -- it can be a strength and also a weakness to be so strong. So we have to learn to take the good with the bad, and use it when it is appropriate. And when you let go of fear, and take it in stride to accept each other's differences, that's when you can temper any extreme, and not let it get out of hand.

That's the first step, to get past the fear of conflict about it.

The rest is up to you to work out individually with people. each person is different so each relationship is different.
In Scott Peck's "A Different Drummer," he talks about "true community" where people can be open and honest about how they are, to the point of admitting when and what we do to make each other mad, and still work together regardless.
Not avoiding or pretending, but really openly acknowledging and working around each other's differences with respect.

Don't be afraid to share, ask and learn from each other. You will probably help the other person to improve himself or herself just as much in the process. Between people who are too passive and ones who are too pushy, it would help if we learned to even out both extremes, to balance and influence each other, so we know when to apply which approach.

For tips on mediating between 4 different ways that people respond to conflict (accommodating, competing, avoiding, and collaborating) see http://www.houstonprogressive.org/mediator.html

Again, the main point is not to judge yourself or anyone for how we tend to respond or react to conflict, but to work with whatever we are given to try to make the best of it.

Answer 2

You do not have to be mean to be a Bully. You can be a bully and still do it in a threatening manner that is not mean. But maybe The term bully may be the wrong word to actually describe what it is that you are doing to other people.

Maybe you are just mean spirited and dont realize it. Ask yourself, are you treating people with the same respect that you expect to get in return from the people you deal with?

Answer 3

Maybe you need to examine that more closely. Try keeping a journal of discussions you have with people and pay closer attention to what they say to you and what you say to them.

Write them down and over time go back and reread what you have written down in your journal or if you want to call it a diary.

Maybe by doing that you can truly find out the truth about yourself. I found that when I did that with my self and faults I got to see other people's prospective.

Sometimes others can be right and other times they aren't right. That's for you to weight out honestly with yourself.

Here are some resources you can read up on bullying. See if you fit any of the descriptions? I can't judge that for you. You have to be willing to see things from what others say.

Who knows maybe you are firm person when you put your foot down and people can also take that as being mean? I don't know.

http://www.bullyonline.org/
http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/18042007/3/canada-majority-canadian-teens-survey-report-bullied-online.html

Answer 4

If you are being called a bully, then you are mean. Bullies are usually mean spirited, have low self esteem and feel that to make themselves feel better about themselves, they have to cut down and insult the people around them.

The only way that you can not bully people is to learn to hold your tongue and not say mean spirited, rude things. Don't make fun of other people, either behind their backs or to their face, that is being a bully.

Answer 5

Why do you think people are calling you a bully? Really think about it.
Do you tend to be overbearing, wanting your way, and manipulating others until they do things your way.
Do you make fun of others, pick on others? You may not mean it in a bad way, but see what you can come up with. You need to do a little soul searching.
Basically, not being a bully means being nice to people, don't make fun of them, don't judge others, don't pick on others, don't gossip about others.
Treat others the way you would want to be treated. Try to put yourself in their shoes and try to see if you can "feel" what they might be feeling with regards to something you have done.
I hope this helps.

Answer 6

Maybe you should ask a teacher or a trusted friend what their honest impression of you is.

You also could ask your parents to see your doctor and report any feelings that you have to him. Especially if you are angry or sad a lot of the time.

Answer 7

well then , try harder
if u gossip stopp (evryone gossips)
hangout with the nerds or geeks
dont call names (though u are joking)
but dont get angry and tell them off
itll make it worse

Answer 8

Treat others the way you would want them to treat you.

Answer 9

Ok, then ask them why they call you that. You must be coming across as one.

Answer 10

Don't be a jerk, don't tease people, and don't tell them what to do.