i am struggling for money big time and its making me ill,help?

Question

this has been quite a while now i am not sleeping properly and constantly think about it, i have been to the doctor and was given anti-depressants but they made me dizzy and generally felt awful so i stopped taking them and the doc didnt offer anything else and now i have debts to pay back to the council because they misjudged my housing and rent benefit so i have to pay it back even though its their incompetence thats caused it and my daughters b'day is in 3 weeks and i promised her a party before these debts came to me, so how on earth am i going to manage it? if there is anybody rich reading this would you like to donate a few pound to my daughters party fund? lol

the council has said i can pay in installments but i cannot afford them either as they want £35 a month which is a whole weeks shopping to me and i have told them that but they dont care and will send bailiffs round if i dont pay

my daughter is only 2 so she wont understand if i dont throw her a party

and as for the sick b astard that said bend over get a life i am generally worried here and your being a total pervert

i am selling stuff i dont use on ebay to make money and i do have the cheapest supply of gas,electric e.t.c and my broadband has been paid for a year in advance as i did that just before xmas when i had a bit of money as i didnt think any problems would arise

i dont work i have had a few jobs and got severely depressed while working started self harming then tried to kill myself and nearly punched the boss because he was always shouting at me for things i didnt do,my doc sent me to counselling and anger management niether did any good then i stopped working i have never self harmed or attempted suicide since, i dont like being this way but i honestly have tried to change

i have not got any loans out and never will because that would only amount up more interest i couldnt pay

and as for someone saying my daughter is too young to understand and wont realise if i dont give her a party your wrong because my daughter has the intelligence of a 4 yr old and does not forget things hopefully she will get a great job and look after me when shes older!

as for the person who read my profile and quoted on it i no longer live that lifestyle i did but i can cope with that

to anybody that mentions citizens advice bureau, i have contacted them but cant get an appointment for 3 weeks so i posted this question to get some advice now

Answer 1

A party need not cost very much. Bake a cake (£3), buy a pack of balloons (£1) and make some sanwiches (£5). Party games are free. Don't feel like you have to give party bags or games prizes away. People will understand.

But first - get your *** down to citizen's advice. They can help with debts, ensure you're getting all the benefits you're entitled to and can negotiate with the council for you.

Finally, promise that you won't go to a loan shark (or any lender) or to one of these companies offering "debt solutions". Citizen's Advice is free - and better.

Good luck and take care.

Answer 2

First thing you need to do is calm right down. Your daughter is too young to understand about parties, so you buy a small sponge cake, some candles,a few buns and some sweets - obviously a toy - she will be happy. That is the least of your problems. As for the debts - don`t you know just about everybody has debts ? Even "rich" people - they live off credit cards and overdrafts to keep their head above water. Tablets won`t help and you were right to stop them - yes they do make you feel awful. It`s no good arguing with the housing - what you need to do is write them a letter telling them you cannot afford this amount, it is causing you hardship and affecting your health, and tell them how much you CAN reasonably afford - and that is what you will pay each week - not month - it`s easier to pay weekly - doesn`t seem as much. No matter what they say - make sure you stick to your offer - if you offer £10 a month - pay £10 a month - never miss. They will not take you to court or send in the bailiffs coz you are PAYING - YOU ARE NOT IGNORING IT. Remember they have bigger fish to fry than you. You are just a little fish. Say it did go to court - the judge would say " well she is paying what she can afford - what do you want...? " They would get nowhere. If you have other debts, write to them and offer them a pound or two every week - and make sure you pay it. Explain your circumstances and what a hard time you are having. Better for them to get their money back in small amounts than not at all. I know it can feel like you are the only person in this situation, and the whole world is after you for money - but you would be surprised if you knew just how much debt some people have. I know a girl has £50,000 debt - i`m not kidding ! She is at the end of her rope, but she has written letters to all her debtors offering £1 a week to each one. They are accepting - they don`t have a choice. Stop worrying. The days when you could go to jail for debt are gone. Bailiffs do not take furniture etc from people with kids. This is 2007 you know - not 1800. Do not lose any more sleep over this. Sit down and write that letter - or letters - and you will feel a whole lot better. Come on, it`s hardly the end of the world !!
( and for god`s sake do not get involved with loan sharks ! )

Answer 3

Take a deep breath, sit down with a piece of paper and a pen, write down all of your income and expenditure and then get a clear picture of exactly where you are. It's then a case of breaking down everything that you have to pay in order of priority. Send the council details of your income and expenditure and look at any other debts that you have very seriously and consider whether you can drop the payments that you are making. This will effect your credit rating, but that's all it will do. Please believe me that it's not worth getting stressed out about. Don't ignore it, face it all head on and be honest with anyone that wants money from you. Your priority payments are food, heating, rent etc etc. Try phoning the national debt helpline (yellow pages) and they will send you a pack - this will help you to understand what your priorities are and will also show you how to work out how much you have to pay your creditors. It might be a bit late to sort out the party for your daughter, but you have a a couple of weeks to sort something else out to give her a good day. In the meantime please try and remain calm and rational and get those debts prioritised. You and your family come first and you should never let money make you ill.

Answer 4

just to say how hard this must be for you - ive had bad money problems but i had family who helped so i guess we were lucky - have you seeked advice from the citizens advice bureau? you need professional help. The council shouldnt be getting away with taking money from you that you dont have. have you got any close friends who could all pitch in with some food ie - sandwiches and jelly - you and your daughter could make a banner and a plain cake to decorate yourselves - the kids are young and will just run around anyway ! im not rich - if i was id love to help you out if you were my mate i would be round straight away. take no notice of the nasty answers they obviously have their own issues !!!! i hope this gets sorted out for you

Answer 5

Jehovah's Witnesses have faith that Jesus has already come (he's come into the commencing up of his rulership) a 2nd time (a similar way that he left which grew to become into invisibly, yet purely those following him might desire to tell). Luke 17:26-30 while the Son of guy comes, issues would be merely as they have been while Noah lived. human beings have been eating, eating, and getting married top as much as the day while Noah went into the great boat. Then the flood got here and drowned anybody on the earth. while Lot lived, human beings have been additionally eating and eating. They have been paying for, promoting, planting, and development. yet on the very day Lot left Sodom, fiery flames poured down from the sky and killed anybody. a similar will ensue on the day while the Son of guy looks. in accordance to bible prophesy and Jesus' warnings, the presence of the son of guy (Jesus), might pass ignored by using maximum human beings (apart from those paying interest to the signs and indicators which "seem" invisible to maximum human beings (Matthew 24:7-9; Luke 21:10-12) Jehovah's Witnesses have faith that those are the final days the place Jesus presence is, culminating to a grand climax.

Answer 6

Im in a similar boat Marie, lost my job Xmas eve (my daughters birthday) and had to smile throught, knowing I couldn't pay the mortgage anymore or really arfford xmas. I lost a lot of sleep and was given Anti-D drugs too, these contributed to irrational behaviour which subsequently I inflicted (verbally) on the love of my life, now i have lost her love.
I have no choice but to sell my home or lose it to the mortgage company, I'm in no fit state to work because of the drugs and i only get benefits (wow) out of which theres domestic bills as well as food etc...!! So, yeh, if Sir Richard is reading this, can you help us both out please? I'll have a job too if you dont mind..probably blowin up the balloon ...!! and hey....if I had my babe by my side, I know I could cope with all this, but without her, it's a struggle. good luck Marie.

Answer 7

dont worry about money, its easy to say. i would suggest going back to the doctors. maybe he can offer counselling?

daughters forget about birthday parties, so dont worry about not giving her one, and remember it doesnt hurt kids to be let down. they have to learn that life isnt all butterflies and smiles all the time. she will understand later in life.

meanwhile, why dont you set her a great example by getting a job (if you dont have one), and paying your own rent? that way your daughter will have a better prospects for the future. research has shown that getting a job and bettering yourself will give you greater self esteem, you will feel better, healthier, and therefore it will indirectly improve the quality of your parenting.

good luck.

Answer 8

You never said what it was you did to earn money.

Anyway.. Try making cut-backs, review your Gas, Electric, Phone and Broadband companies and change to cheaper ones.
If you have a loan, change to one that has a rate no more than 6.2%.
Get rid of Sky and get a freeview box.
Move your credit card balance to one with 0%.
Shop at Netto or Lidl instead of Sainsbury`s and Tescos etc.
Tell the Council you`re an immigr@nt and they`ll throw money at you.
Sell stuff on ebay or get a better job.

It might also be worth cutting down on the takeaways you say you eat loads of!!

Don`t worry too much cos most people are in debt.. I owe 12k on top of my 60k mortgage.. when I die I wanna leave as much debt behind as possibe!

Answer 9

If your daughter is only 2 she will not mind you not throwing a party...it would be different if she were 5 or 6,
go and speak to citizens advice, and keep your money in your purse for now..you can make it up to your little girl when things get sorted

Answer 10

Sucker isn't written on my forehead, nice try anyway.

On the off chance that you are not just trying to get money from fools...just tell your daughter that you can't afford a party. She will be fine with that, kids understand those things better than adults do at times. Just bake her a cake and give her a kiss...she will love that.