What do you think about this problem of mine?

Question

I want to share this sorrow to you guys. Living without my father for over 11 years has been a nightmare, ever since my stepfather appears in my mom's life. I always get depressed everytime they fight, he's a horrible man, he abuse me verbally and emotionally, thank goodness not sexually, the abused me phisically once. I always do his job because he doesn't know how to use a computer, instead of cheering me up, he always screams at me, insult me like I'm not worth it, I'm not good in anything that I do, etc. The worst of all, my mother doesn't defend me, she always say this to me: "Just ignore him". Do you think that that is a way to defend a daughter who is abused emotionally and verbally? I'm a extremelly sensitive person and she knows that. She never listens to me, she doesn't support me on anything. I need some counsel. Thank you. Kiss, kiss

Just in case, I'm 19 years old.

Answer 1

run away... Run Away... RUN AWAY... RUN RUN RUN.... FORGET IT ALL. just run away.

Answer 2

Well hun your mom seem to be one of those woman who feel any man in their life is better than none. I learned the heard way that that is not true but some woman are not strong enough to give themselves the chance to make it on their own and stay with losers.

As 4 you just ignore the both of them. Go ahead and go 2 your school councelor they can help you find councelors and such to help you make it through this. Also you can file child abuse charges on this asshole. If you do do not feel bad about it later he is a moron and deserves someone 2 stomp on him hard.

Dont buy into what he says remember they are just words. Instead of letting the words tear u apart try this. Know that he only says those things because you are better in those areas than he is. That is why he is putting you down 2 make himself feel better. Stupid logic but that is how it works. He is jealous of you and this is how he works out his feeling. Feel sorry 4 the loser he can never get better but you will become better every day of your life if you believe in yourself. No one can measure what you are worth only you can do that.

DO NOT BUY INTO THE BULL, LET IT ROLL OFF OF YOU AND USE IT TO BETTER YOURSELF.

remember he is only doing this because you are better than him so of course not being a man he has to try and distroy instead of encourage.

Good luck and remember there r people out there that care. Take your time surround yourself with good people (um they do not have 2 be related) and tune out the negative people in your life. You will be a lot happier

Answer 3

I think both you and your mother should receive counseling. I'm wondering why she isn't supporting you and backing your stepfather. It's a terrible shame to be in that situation. I would honestly not to his job for him; let him suffer. If you're old enough to move out, then try and get your ducks in a row to move. If you aren't, check with other family or friends and see if they can help you as far as getting out etc...I used to live that way myself WITH my father, and back then those days were different. I went to counseling when I was 31; I'm 35 now...and it was the best thing I did for myself =)

Answer 4

Nobody I don't care how old they are has to put up with this kind of abuse. First off it affects your self esteem, and you may end up doing something you will regret. If you are close to anyone else in your family, either a grandparent, aunt uncle, cousin, somebody, you need to tell them. If you are in school you need to talk to your counselor on perhaps some good counselors to go talk to. You need an outlet to get your frustrations out. Hopefully another family member can help, if not go see you school couselor, or anyone at school to get the recommended help. Good luck, and I hope this helps.

Answer 5

I hope your ok. It sounds like you need to talk to a responsible adult. A counselor at school or a teacher would be good. Just make sure it is one that is trustworthy. If you have any friends who offer to let you spend the night you should take them up on the offer because, the longer you stay in that house, the crazier your gonna get. If all else fails, just try to stay out as much as possible. Hope this helps! I am sending you a cyber bear hug!

Answer 6

Since you are 19 years old I would suggest either moving in with your father or moving out on your own. If neither is an option maybe you should try talking to your mother and finding out why she thinks it's OK for him to treat you that way.

Answer 7

this is a really sensitive issue you have... it is hard to deal with especially when your own mother can't help you. but you know what... just hang in there and be strong. what hurts you now can only make you stronger later. i don't know how old you are or where your situation is at life, but don't let him get the best of you. when your ready to, get out. you need to make your mother realize that this isn't healthy what she's doing. you need to make her see that you're not happy. help her open up her eyes.

Answer 8

I know what you're going through kind of. She should be sticking up for you, and he should not be treating you that way at all. I was a "loner" growing up and I pretty much had to figure things out on my own. I think this may be one of those special circumstances where you may definitely want to talk to someone (outside of your house) about this. It needs to stop. If you let it go, it will only get worse. For your own peace of mind, please talk to someone about this. Best of luck.

Answer 9

Since you've addressed your concerns to your mom and she refuses to stand up for you, the next best thing is to not come around when your stepfather is around and possibly you can explain to your father your reluctance to visit your mom while your stepfather is around.

Answer 10

if ur under 18, u should talk to an adult outside of ur home. say a school councelor. ask for help from them and they will try and help u.
you should also talk to your mother and ask her why is she putting up with this. u and ur mother should talk to each other more about this problem. perhaps both of you could help each other too.
i kinda know what ur going through. so, i wish u all the best.

Answer 11

Wow...u poor girl i really feel sorry for u...wat is happening 2 u is not right u should get a phone number in ur country which is a help line and report him....he is not aloud 2 treat u in that way...im sorry dat this happened 2 u....LOTS of LUCK....mwa mwa mwa....hope u find a solution