Been with my girlfriend 6 months, and she has mentioned engagement, big smile on my face. We live about 400 miles apart n used to see each other every 2 weeks or so. Now if she pulls me into a shop and shows me what ring she wants, and tries it on, then is off with me for the next 3 days, what is she playing at. I love her so much and nothing would make me happier than spending my life with her, she has been hurt in the past many time, n now wants space, so haven't spoken since sunday, as to give her space, I dont want to lose her. What do I do?
2007-04-19 08:27:17 · 24 answers · asked by J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If you love her and don't want to lose her first thing is it a 50/50 relationship or are you doing all the running. Are you rich she might just want a big rock on her finger to show off to her friends.women can be very materialistic Sorry to be harsh but you need to have a long think where your relationship is going. it is great having that whirlwind to sweep you a way and give you that warm loving feeling. However do you plan on spending the next few years/ months travelling 400 miles for a few days of happiness or have you spoke about living closer to each other or together.
More importantly have you asked her if she loves you and what she honestly expects from the future. The time you have together now keeps the relationship fresh as your not in each others pockets and you still have your own space. It may be possible that this could change if you got engaged and spent more time together sometimes it can take many years before you know what a person is really like. Have a heart to heart with her and if it comes out positive if she truly loves you she will wait for her ring.
If it was to go the other way time does genuinely heal.
Ring her don't wait for her to call you it will show you care if she has been hurt in the past.
Good luck
2007-04-19 08:45:36 · answer #1 · answered by chicky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, I really think 6 months is too soon in a relationship to even begin discussing marriage, even if you saw each other every day. My boyfriend and I fell in love after only about a wekk or so, and we got engaged after only being together for 3 months. Well, that engagement lasted 8 months before I took off my ring and we broke up. Don't worry, though- this story has a happy ending- we got back together 3 days later, but did not get re-engaged, and we have now been together for nearly 5 years, and we're happier than we've ever been. My point is, if you rush into something like marriage, the extra pressure you've put on yourselves can cause your relationship to implode. Also, if your GF needs that much space and time alone, she probably isn't ready for the commitment of living with someone and seeing them first thing every morning, last thing every night, etc. There's nothing wrong with that. You can both look at rings and dream about the future, but maybe for now, it should only be hypothetical. Take the time to really get to know each other, so then when you finally do get married, you will each know exactly who you're marrying, with no unpleasant surprises.
2007-04-19 08:39:47 · answer #2 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is probably just playing you don't bother getting trapped into her claws buying her a ring getting into marriage into will only end in tears what i don't understand is the fact that she wants space but a phone call isn't a lot to ask for since Sunday aswell its quite a few days i know from personnel experience that its my highlight when i wake up with my partner laid next to me to have a cuddle and a kiss from even when were away from each other we still ring to say morning night etc because we LOVE each other and don't need breaks or time apart especially when marriage is involved.
2007-04-19 12:27:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps it's because you didn't buy the ring for her right away (I'm assuming you didn't?). If she says she wants space - don't not contact her at all. She might think 'well he really doesn't give a monkey's'. Send her a text or something, just asking if she's ok, then it gives her the option not to answer. Sounds like she is keen, but wants it all now. Wait until you've tried living together for a while, how do you know you'll get on otherwise!.
2007-04-19 08:50:45 · answer #4 · answered by finch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kind of behaviour you are describing about your girlfriend doesn't make sense to me but I'm sure she has her reasons?! I would say wait!!! you've only been with her 6 months - give the relationship time to develop. In my opinion you really have to live with a person to experience the true reality of sharing each other space (and bad moods). Could you not perhaps agree to move in together first?
2007-04-19 08:38:21 · answer #5 · answered by flipflop_76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you lady loves you but is a little frightened of commiting to you and getting hurt all over again. If you give her a little time she will come back to you all the happier for the time to think. Sometimes a little distance helps you realise how good you have things. Sometimes its not easy opening yourself up to someone when its all gone wrong in the past, it takes a great deal of trust. Give her some time and consider how she must be feeling, and it will all be fine. Good luck with everything.
2007-04-19 08:34:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Six months isn't long enough to get to know someone in which to make a decision like engagement !!! Presumably,the next step would be marriage ??? Be careful,regrets can last longer than marriage..If she's making you feel uncomfortable now,what of the future ?? If you really love her,wait..You decide when it's time to visit the jewellers !!!
2007-04-19 08:37:56 · answer #7 · answered by trish b 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You lost her, she is gone, dont buy the ring, if she wants to get married wait a year and see how she acts in that year before you shell out a bunch of money
2007-04-19 08:30:52 · answer #8 · answered by rich2481 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would forget getting engaged she has issues like youve said and you need to protect yourself from getting hurt - she could be using you for a ring but it seems theres more to it - but if she does really care for you then its her that needs to address these issues - you seem like a nice guy and you deserve better treatment - i personally think you should forget the engagement and focus on seeing eachother much longer to build the trust up. good luck !!
2007-04-19 19:25:55 · answer #9 · answered by Swan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she feels like you aren't giving her the response she wants when she talks about getting married. As women we want our guy to be as happy and enthusiastic as we are. Give her rhe space she needs. If things are meant to be she will come back and you can work things out. If things do work out you really need to express to her just how much you want to spend the rest of your life with her! Hope this helps!!
2007-04-19 08:33:57 · answer #10 · answered by april r 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋