A lot of Saturdays, my girlfriend goes out with a group of friends, but very seldom am I invited, which isnt that big of a deal cause every relationship needs downtime. Most of the time she goes out, gets drunk and even a few times she has crashed at the house of her ex boyfriend. They broke up in High school, however, they messed around as recently as a year and a half ago. She tells me that nothing has been going on between them, which i 99 percent believe, but I still get angry and it starts a big fight. I say it is never approiate to spend the night at your ex's house under any circumstances. Plus when he is part of the group of friends, I am almost never invited. I just want an un biased opinion on the matter... Thank you guys for your time
2007-04-19 07:59:57 · 22 answers · asked by kevin c 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
even if she says nothing is going on,the fact it bugs you should be a reason why she should stop . she should respect your feelings . too is the guy single , if so then it is totally wrong on so many levels . would any normal woman ever let her guy stay over at a ex girlfriends house . , too me it just screams not right . but be careful if nothing is going on then it makes you come off as jealous , but i think you have a right to be ,she way off base , would she like it if you did the same kinda think especially if she felt the ex girl friend was better looking then her .
2007-04-19 08:10:47 · answer #1 · answered by ted75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you think the answer is to your question. Trust your instincts about this. If there was nothing going on, you'd be invited. If she is spending the night at an ex lovers house buddy, you've got problems. Don't argue about it, just say to her "Listen, I don't like being excluded when X is around and I sure don't like the fact that you spent the night at X's house. When you do these things, you are behaving as a single person. If you want to be single, be single and be honest enough to admit that there is no future for us." No arguement. Seems to me that you are playing the part of "saftey net" in this relationship. In other words, if she can piece relationship with X back together you are OUT. She is uncertain she can do it on her terms, so she keeps you around because she does not want to be alone. Get out of the relationship. Sounds toxic on many levels.
2007-04-19 08:16:21 · answer #2 · answered by mzadamz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My personal opinion is that her hanging out with an ex, getting drunk, spending the night at his house, excluding you, is a recipe for disaster, inappropriate and disrespectful to the relationship with you.
Sounds like the two of you are incompatible based on different morals, values, standards and expectations in a relationship.
2007-04-19 08:04:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she values her relationship with you at all, she wouldn't be spending any time with her ex. It's very disrespectful and causes a lot of problems in a relationship. Kinly ask her why she is over there and then request that she stop going to his house. If she stops, then great. If not, then it is time to find someone better. It also bothers me that you are often uninvited out. If she's not doing anything wrong, then why can't you be there? Good luck with your dilema.
2007-04-19 08:06:16 · answer #4 · answered by irisheyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would never be a good thing. If you have an ex I suggest spending the night there after getting drunk and seeing how she feels about that.
2007-04-19 08:04:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her how u would like to be involved in more things because u feel left out. Let her know how even though u trust her u still dont think that she should be hanging out with her ex all the time especially sleeping over that's just too far!
2007-04-19 08:10:59 · answer #6 · answered by jelly1505 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right. It is never a good idea and never a good sign. Even if nothing is going on, and I would not be surprised that something is going on, there are, at the least, unresolved issues between the two of them. If nothing is going on, she is still putting him ahead of you which is inappropriate behaviour, hurtful to the relationship, and disrespectful to you. She must stop.
2007-04-19 08:03:07 · answer #7 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, your gf is playing you. Get rid of that drunk cheater.
If they messed around a yr and half ago, you damn well know they messed around after that also.
If my wife/gf ever did that., that would be over ASAP.
Dont believe the lies she tells you. Ok just picture....if your ex girl crashed a saturday night at your place.....you know you'd hit it. I know I would. thats why its a bad idea!!!
leave her before she catches a disease and messes you up.
2007-04-19 08:08:24 · answer #8 · answered by therealpirate2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I mean honestly why do you put up with a relationship where there's a common occurance that bothers you this much. You're right that's ****** up, and you shouldn't stress yourself out dealing with it. Dude, it may be tough, it may hurt, but break up with her go meet a girl that doesn't put you through **** like that. You'll be glad you did.
2007-04-19 08:09:34 · answer #9 · answered by joe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is never a good thing for someone your dating to spend the night with their ex. she may say it's because she is drunk, but i guarantee you that she is staying there for a different reason. ask her how she would like it if you spent the night with your ex. if you don't have one, make one up.
2007-04-19 08:07:38 · answer #10 · answered by randall g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋