why is she doing like this? what it means? we talk very nicely everytime we talk just like before.What do I do

Question

My frnd and I have been very good friends for a few years. I know at some point of time I have hurt her though I never intend to hurt her but it just happend and I had apologised for it also but maybe she had not forgive for it.
One day she told me due to some probs she could not be in contact as we were before and I had seen her effort which she had made to be in contact and I really appreciated that but I felt like a burden on her so for her convience I told her to contact me only when she wished to and I was available for her whenever she contacted me.
I understood that she was busy and thats the reason she could not be there like before, now she is free, the work she had had finished and now I expected her to be in contact with me like before but what I have seen is, she is still not being there for me, I thought she would be there again once she gets free.
What does this mean and as far I know she knows that I expected her to be with me once she is over her problems. It hurts.

Answer 1

You know you are hurting urself more than she is hurting u by thinking of her. Dont do this to urself. u said she know that ur waiting for, even though she knows she is putting no effort to be like before.. with this I get this idea that she is using u for her own conveinence. Dont be so much available for her, give her a break and busy urself with something u like as much as u like her. If she gets back to u and ask u why ur not being avaialble for her like before.. which is likely to be asked bcoz no one likes to lose a pet and a door mat.. sorry to be say that but thats what I get an impression of urs which she must be having the same.
She is not going to call u a pet or a door mat and even if u ask her she is going to deny it to u, but her actions r showing that that ur just a door mat.
Either teach her a lesson or forget her forever anyway she is not worth as a friend.

Answer 2

Sorry to here about your problem. If you told her to contact you only when she wished to (presumably so you would not burden her by contacting her) then you pretty much have to wait on her to make the first move. Without knowing the situation (what you did to her, what sort of reasons she had for not being around you anymore, etc.) it's really hard to guess why she has not made the effort. Some people are also not entirely truthful when they break up with a friend or significant other. Her story about "needing some space" may have really been permanent. Either way, the ball is in her court and I would suggest that you move on. Let her catch up to you if she wants to.

Answer 3

I clearly do not have the whole story so can not say for sure one way or another. I understand she is a good friend of yours and that you are feeling a little but out by her not wanting to contact you like she once did but these things do happen all to often. We get so busy with other things and what we have to do that friends seem from time to time disappear from view. maybe you should give her a ring just to see how she is doing. not to put any pressure on her or anything just to let her know your still her friend and still there. Life is hard and people often hurt you when they real do not mean to. I would let it go and if she comes around then your there if not then don't upset yourself to much. move on with your life and hopefully she will come back.

Answer 4

The best thing for you to do is write her a letter - handwritten, and send through Royal Mail. Tell her how you feel, what your concerns are for your friendship and relationship with her. Then it will be up to her to respond to you and let you know how she feels and address your concerns. Communication is the only way to solve this problem, and writing a letter is more personal and heartfelt, and means much more than an email or a telephone call that could be taken defensively. This way it is an open field for communication. If she responds, she will answer your questions and let you know what is going on for her. If she doesn't respond, then you also have an answer, she doesn't want to remain in a friendship with you any longer. She may also tell you that in a letter or follow-up telephone call. It sounds harsh, but knowing the truth and where you stand is much better than worrying and wondering. I hope everything works out for you. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

don't act and feel like a babbling whiner for continuing to pursue her. i have made that mistake. you can't make people like you or want to hang out or talk with you. save your time for people who care. she doesn't miss you obviously, or she would have called. act like you don't care. even if you hurt her in the past. maybe she hurt you? nobody is perfect. maybe you messed up the relationship. who knows? who cares? you apologized. use this experience to improve your relationships with other people. if she calls you, be nice and talk to her like old times, though, then play hard to get for a while.if your relationship is meant to stay friendly, then it will. if you never hear from her again, than so be it.