What do you tell them to make their pain go away?
2007-04-19 07:25:12 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Depends on the situation. Sometimes, words can't help, but presence can. Sometimes, all somebody wants is someone to be there for them when they want to talk, be held, or just simply not be alone.
Best to you.
2007-04-19 07:28:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
If it is a bad pain, it deserves a time of grief. Just be a friend to them. Let them know you are thinking of them. Invite them over or out for a distraction.
If you are close enough ask them leading questions and not just the "are you ok?" type. It is hard to find the right question to get some peole to open up. And some dont want to. I dont know your specifics.
When I had a miscarriage, my BF came over and watched the kids with and for me. She just said "I can't imagine, but I'm here for you" .... Go take a long bath, I'll watch you big boy play in the back yard. She brought me chocolate and diet coke too. She let me know she really cared even though she could not solve the problem directly.
But they are lucky to have a real friend who cares.
2007-04-19 07:37:06 · answer #2 · answered by G's Random Thoughts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the situation - there may be nothing to tell them to make the pain go away. Mostly you have to just be a friend and listen.
If there are practical things that they are or are not doing then you might be able to help them with that.
2007-04-19 07:33:53 · answer #3 · answered by Alan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know when i m hurt by something and if someone try to sympathise me,i just hate it, becuase this sympathies sometimes add to the pain........so i would prefer not to discuss that thing with her/him and would try to divert her attention to something else....would try to take her on drive or for some shopping (if she agree) or would go for some cooking............and if she don't agree for that i would prefer some movies and would make her to watch it with me.....and when she is out of her immediate shock.......i would try to consol her by telling her the remedy of the thing which made her hurt !..You just have to tell her that she is very important for you and you adore this friendship.... it also works..just make her feel very important and that will take away her half pain....oh there are also some place for giving her a gift ! All what is needed is Sincerity and love and you would never fail !
2007-04-19 08:18:28 · answer #4 · answered by ★Roshni★ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there compassionately for them, and listen attentively.
Be Mindful of their needs, having the attitude that I will sacrifice my "self" to help take away any of, or all [if possible] of your pain, suffering and dissatisfactions - to bring you Comfort, Peace and Happiness.
Talking a lot, giving advice - is most often not the answer, but simply being there mindfully present, and ever so compassionately is what is most important.
2007-04-19 08:21:09 · answer #5 · answered by Thomas 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't do anything to make their pain go away. It is something that they have to deal with, it is a process that eventually leads to healing.
You CAN however, be a supportive friend, be there when they need you, let them know that if they need to talk you are there to listen, if they need a shoulder to cry on, yours is available, if they need to be alone, let them be but also let them know that you are around if they need you.
All you can say is that you are sorry for what they are going through, but most definitely don't say you understand unless you have been through the same thing.
2007-04-19 07:35:00 · answer #6 · answered by meg3f 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time I would say people don't want to hear anything when they are hurting, or grieving, whatever the case may be. It just really helps and means a lot when they know you care and are willing to go out of your way to be close and comfort them. When my mom died, I didn't need to talk to anyone, but it sure did feel good to have all those people supporting my family and me.
2007-04-19 07:38:27 · answer #7 · answered by chavito 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them know you are there for them. Words don't normally make the pain go away, but sometimes it helps to know that someone is willing to help them thru it. My close friend, whenever she was distressed, all it would take is for me to make a stupid face and say "Boo" at her.... It was enough to relieve some of the tension so she could talk about it. (I know, it's silly... but it works!) Another friend doesn't even want to see other people when she is upset. *Shrug*
2007-04-19 07:33:03 · answer #8 · answered by Kithy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you are a true friend to want to help. I believe only time heals pain. Friends that show their love and support by just being there mean a lot. Hugs are wonderful as well as a listening ear or shoulder to cry on.
I respect you more than ever.
2007-04-19 07:38:11 · answer #9 · answered by Gorgeoustxwoman2013 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is worse than watching someone you care about in pain, especially when there is nothing you can do to take it away. What you can do, though, is just let them know that you are there to help and talk, and will continue to be for the long haul.
2007-04-19 07:34:18 · answer #10 · answered by Sookie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
*Nothing* you say can take their pain away. That will come in time with healing. Be there for support and to LISTEN. If you are religious, pray with them. Most people just want someone to listen to them.
If you think they are suicidal, may get violent, etc. make sure you get professional HELP for them as well. Don't try to help them alone.
2007-04-19 07:31:47 · answer #11 · answered by reginachick22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋