What is a parent to do when there child runs away?

Question

My son is eight years old he ran away to his paternal aunts house. He ran away because he was punished for the weekend because he brought $40 to school. School official made a big thing about it . Since he has done it before.He refuses to want to come home.

Answer 1

You are the parent! Go and get him! He is eight years old acting like he is two!

Answer 2

I totally agree with all the posters, you are the parent, go get your son, if you keep letting your son do all the stuff he is doing now, then what kind of a role model will he be to society when he gets older.

You said that he brought 40 dollars to school and the school just made a big deal about it, well, there must have been a reason for that, you did not think it was a big deal, but the school did.

I suggest you get your son into counseling, and yourself, and talk to the school the administrators and the administration.

You do not want to send your troubled son to school and you do not want to let this keep going on, you have to recognize this problem, be the parent, and get your son set straight, before he goes off on his own and becomes another member of society who hates all society, because he felt that society did him wrong!

Answer 3

Why would the school officials get mad because he brought $40 to school. I don't see the crime in that. What was he using the money for? Where did an 8 year old get $40? And to answer your question....GO GET YOUR KID! The Aunt should've driven him right home. Sounds like you need to sit this boy down and explain the rules of your house with him and let him know that you are in charge and that you will not tolerate his behavior. If you don't get a handle on things now, who knows what the future holds for this little rebel. Good luck.

Answer 4

I don't see why he would have been in trouble for taking money to school. If he had stolen the money it would be a different reason.

You might want to sit down and have a talk to your son about his feelings and how he can change these feelings to produce more positive outcomes.

If he were older I would have said tough love but he is still young and needs guidance. About going to an aunt's house and not wanting to come home, that raises a big issue that he feels its ok to run and may continue running until he learns to face his problems.

Has anyone ever given you options and you realized that the option you had been given was the best? For instance I tell the kids get to class when the bell rings, that's not a motivating factor, but when I say ok the last one to get to class can stay and help clean up the yard. They all run.

Or if they complain about having homework, I've used well I was going to give you more but since you are unhappy anyhow let me assign you what I was planning for you. They will say Sorry Mrs. it's ok we will do it and they quiet down.

What is typically known as Reverse Psychology.

There are alternatives, choices, reactions and consequences for those actions. You have to find what works best for you as you alone know your history with your son and what he will respond to best. Its hard for others to make concrete decisions without more background information. As many factors have led up to this point. How your relationship with your son is? How he faced problems before. If you were there helping him or teaching him how to face situations etc.

Best wishes for you and him, hope you find a way that works for you and him.

Answer 5

I don't think you've given us enough details. Is the aunt on your kid's side and is not letting you come get him? Or is it just that your son is refusing to leave and come home?

Why was your son punished for taking money to school? That seems odd.

Does your son act defiantly a lot? Or is he just acting out this time?

I would suggest you go to the aunt's house and speak with her directly and privately. Come up with a solution togather, if you think that is appropriate. You could.....

1. have the aunt kick him out and tell him to run back home. (if he made it to her house, he can make it back to yours.) You can even drive the car behind him the whole way to make sure he's safe.

2. Tell the kid he can live there but don't make it pleasant for him. (tell him he has to work to earn his keep, don't make nice dinners for him, etc.) If done correctly, he'll wnat to come home eventually.

3. Just go over there and bring him home and impose some serious consquences on him.

Don't be so hard on the aunt, it's better that he ran away to someone he knows rather than out on the streets or hiding in the woods somewhere.

If this is a kid that acts out a lot or has run away before, I implore you to consult with someone who can come up with mroe effective discipline stratgies. Remember what works for one kid might not work with another.

Answer 6

You make the calls. Your the Mommy and when he gets to be a parent, he then can make the rules for his family. Go get him! Its that simple. If he runs again, you just keep reinforcing the rules and continue to seek him out and bring him home. You have to have support from family members, you have to make them understand that this is inappropriate behavior and you will not tolerate it. They will not over rule you. If you and this aunt could get in sync she could just load him up in the car and take him back to you. Being a parent is all about consistency. You just keep reinforcing the rules you have and until he is 18 he will learn to live within this realm. I can feel your pain. I have raised two sons, and I have been threw this too. I have had to fight relatives and friends, but never give in, it will be harder to maintain control if you do. My youngest was 17 the last time I drug him home. I went into a house that was clearly not suitable for him to be hanging at. They would not let me in the front door, until I went back to the car and brought my baseball bat up to the door with me. I was welcomed in and they helped me find my son. They knew I meant business. And you need to get serious about your son and your rules. This is your job and I am sure you are going to be just fine. Find the fighter within and let her out to help you. You know they say" it takes a village to raise a child". This is true, but the village share common interest with the family, its about all those that think like you and understands and helps inforce your rules.

Answer 7

if he was a teenager id leave him to come back of his own accord as teens are a mind unto themself and will only keep running away, however since he is 8years old, the boys aunt needs a good slap! if i know if my sister (daughters aunt) kept my child there id go sort her out, the aunt has no right to be having the child there she should be backing you up and bringing him home. Go round there and get your son back and dont take no for an answer, he is your son, you are right to disipline him and the aunt should keep her nose out good intentions or not her duty is to return the child to you and back you up regardless!!!!
get your son back and get an order to keep her away from your son, otherwise each time something goes wrong that will be where your son hides!

Answer 8

Always remember that you're the parent. It's not what he wants, it's what you want. If it takes for you to pick him up and drop him off from school everyday, then so be it. You need to put your foot down. No more of this "He refuses to want to come home." stuff.

Answer 9

Get the little spoiled brat back and try role reversal...
Maybe you could be the parent for a while...
And tell the Aunt to butt the f**k out...

Oh yea... A good piece of belt leather usually does wonders........

Answer 10

so he is only eight right so go over and put him the car an take him thats the problem with mist kids growing up you let them make their on decision at an early age then you will be sitting on Dr. Phil screaming about my son beats me and i dont know why. Go get your kid!!!!