my husband has cancer, how can i deal with this?

Question

First . some background info: My boyfriend was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in November '05, we had been dating for 8 months. They gave him 3 months to live, but thank god that he is still around. he went into remission for a few months, but is now on a 6 month chemo treatment. we have been living together for almost a year and have recently been married. i am 21 and he is 24. he has energy and i am helping him keep his weight up by cooking nutritious meals everyday. by looking at him, you would not be able to tell that he has any ailments at all. he is essentially VERY healthy. He but has been getting meaner by the day. he won;t spend any time with me and says very hurtful things to me. he either plays video games all day or spends all day and every saturday with his best friend. whenever i retaliate and say anything mean to him, he storms out of the house and is gone all day. i know that he's not cheating on me, but i don;t know how much more i can take, any suggestions?

Answer 1

I'm sorry things are so stressful for your and your husband. It may be that something new has triggered a change in mood; does he have any new stressors aside from the cancer that may be playing a role? Also, if you think this is a clear change in his personality/behavior without a clear explanation, then another possibility it that the tumor may be affecting his brain, where chemotherapy doesn't really have much effect.

Try to discuss your concerns with your husband and consider having him evaluated by his doctor to figure out what's going on. I hope it's just stress and you two can work it out.

Answer 2

Get him some Laetrile and forget what the standardized quacks are telling you about his dying!!! Laetrile WORKS for everyone, and that's why these QUACKs don't want you and millions of other cancer sufferers to know that it 'poisons' Cancer cells and NOT normal healthy cells!
This was proved at Slone-Kettering years ago, but since Laetrile is ALL natural, and can't be marketed for a profit like some 'manmade' drug, . .they LIED about their OWN test results!!!
In addition to the clinical results obtained by these physicians in the treatment of humans, there have been at least five carefully controlled experiments on mice that have shown definite Laetrile anti-cancer action. These include: (1) the experiments done by Scind Laboratories of San Francisco in 1968, (2) the studies completed at the Pasteur Institute (Paris) in 1971, (3) those at the Institute von Ardenne (Dresden, Germany) in 1973, (4) the experiments at the Southern Research Institute in 1973, and (5) numerous trials at Sloan-Kettering from 1972 to 1977. In spite of all this, spokesmen for orthodox medicine still proclaim there is no evidence that Laetrile works!! The evidence is everywhere!!!!

Answer 3

First off; I know everyone says to talk about it but my father had cancer and passed from it many years ago.
So here is the thing, he is in Denial and doesn't want to think about it. When he is ready he will, let him grieve in a sense because that is what he is doing. Of course every once in a while insure him that you are there for him. Do not by no means retaliate, just don't bring it up. My father was the same way a huge part of it was the medication, they may not look like there are suffering but it does make them ill mentally and phsyically. Everyone deals with it in a differant way and he is just not ready to think of the negative outcome! Just be loving and deal with it !

Answer 4

You need a support group who can interpret this all and tell you where he can go for some help. This might have happened without the cancer but it probably is a defense mechanism response to it. Try to keep communicating with him as much as possible.

Answer 5

Talk to his docotr and ask if any of his chemo might be affecting his mental state. If it isn't it's probably the fact that he has cancer and the emotional side of dealing with cancer that's causing him to be like this. I'd go get some counseling

Answer 6

My husband died from cancer ( not the same kind ) and its very normal for them to get nasty with the ones they are the closest too, for some strange reason they seem to think if they really Pi-- you off you will be glad when the die. Just ignore it, they are scared too, you are walking the hardest path of your life right now. Believe me when I say my thoughts and prayers are with you, I have walked that path.

Answer 7

First, I'm very sorry about your husband! Cancer is really hard to deal with, especially if someone has it REALLY bad! Well, your husband is probably very confused. I would try going to counciling and see what the therapist says. Good luck!!

Answer 8

He is scared and going through something that you will never completely understand. Just be there for him. Go to doctor's appts. Sit through treatments. Give him some time and space to process this. It should get better.

Answer 9

I swear I have heard this same post before. Why don't you get some counseling? Contact his oncologists (cancer doctor) office and ask them for information on support groups for family members of cancer patients. They will help you.

Answer 10

i'm going to give you some suggestions to help him :
That he takes Vitamin D3, Raspberries and Redberries juices can help against cancer.
Zyflamend is useful too.
With this you can help support chemo.