How would you prepare an Irritated Gopher for dinner?

Answer 1

First I'd figure out why Gopher is so irritated. Ah! It obviously has to do with Dr. Bricker's way of "taking care" of the patients. *cue: "Bad Case Of Loving You"*

Hmm. Ok... I guess I'd have Isaac serve up a few drinks, Julie perform a little *cruise directing dance*, and Captain Stubing reminisce about the days of being Murray on Mary Tyler Moore. Then I'd tell Gopher he'll be in Congress one day and also become the CEO of "Goodwill Industries". As he's digesting all of that, I doubt he'd even want dinner.... unless Vicki's serving up some clams on the poop deck that evening. *cough*

Answer 2

GOPHER STEW

6 lbs. gopher meat (a gopher is a land turtle)
1/4 lb. salt pork, cubed
3 Spanish onions, diced
5 stalks celery, diced
1 bell pepper, diced
3 (16 oz.) cans sliced tomatoes
10 c. water
2 datil peppers, whole
Salt and pepper to taste
3 potatoes, cubes
5 tbsp. brown flour
1/2 c. water

Clean gopher meat well and drain. Fry down salt pork in a large cast iron pot. Add meat and brown. Remove meat, drain on paper towels. Add onions, celery and bell pepper to salt pork grease and saute until tender. Add tomatoes and a little water if needed and cook down to a pulp on low heat for about 2 hours. Add gopher meat, 10 cups water and datil peppers and salt and pepper to taste. Cook about 1 1/2 hours or until meat is tender. Add potatoes the last 30 minutes of cooking. Mix brown flour with water in a glass jar and shake vigorously. Bring stew to a boil and thicken with flour mixture. Serve over UNCLE BEN'S® rice.

BROWN FLOUR:

1 cup flour

Place flour in a cast iron skillet on low heat and stir continuously until brown, being careful not to burn it.

Answer 3

It depends on whether he were a current student of the University of Minnesota or an alumnus.

If he was a current student, I would just say 'free pizza and non-alcoholic refreshment of choice.' If it was an alumnus, 'dinner is gonna be yummy.' I would serve a casserole made with cream of something soup and a fruit salad with cool whip. Oh, and coffee, black.

Think comfort food.

Answer 4

Serve him a drink, hand him his pipe and slippers, settle him into a comfy chair, pop in his favorite movie, while you put the finishing touches on his dinner.

Answer 5

ask him nicely to wash his hands
place the napkin in his lap - gophers tend to be messy

Answer 6

First, and most importantly, make him wash his hands. They dig a lot. I would choose fingerfoods as they are not good with utensils. Prepare things he likes and perhaps he will not be so irritated.

Answer 7

marinate it in red wine, garlic, olive oil, and fresh herbs overnight, i would then grill him over high heat to get a nice charred crusty exterior and moist, tender inside. MMM MMM MMM!!!!!!!

Answer 8

Tell him to wash his paws and then sit at the table.

Answer 9

Invite a happy mole to intertain him. :)

Answer 10

I'd chop its head off first.