When my boyfriend and I started dating over a year ago, he spoiled me with all kinds of attention which was a huge breath of fresh air because I'd dated nothing but losers in the past. I returned the attention of course, spoiling him in the process. He'd always talk about how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me constantly saying "when we get married..." and sending me text messages saying how much he missed me and loved me (once again, I returned the affection). I moved in with him at the three month mark. Now, a little over a year later, I no longer get the cute text messages. I no longer get the smile when he comes home from work. I no longer get the cuddling on the couch during movies/tv. He no longer helps clean after I cook. I no longer get the "when we get married.." (instead he tells people the timing's not right when he used to descirbe the kind of ring he would get me). I cook, I clean, I try to be affectionate, but he just constantly complains now. What happened?
2007-04-19 05:54:42 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
As a matter of clarifcation: he began begging me to move in after a week of dating. I moved in at three months because he wouldn't leave me alone about it (in an adorable way).
2007-04-19 06:00:55 · update #1
This is just part of life! What has happened is that he got comfortable and that first lil spark has lightened up some! but as hard as it is try to focus on all the lil things he may do for you other than looking how it used to be! Ever relationship goes threw this! Just be happy yall are growing together and now is the time of your relationship together to start learning even more about one another and really focus on what makes him tick!! Remeber that the first 2 to 3 years are the hardest ones!
2007-04-19 06:02:07 · answer #1 · answered by Beautiful Disaster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of guys do this: put forth a huge effort in the beginning to get the woman hooked, and then once she's hooked, he can discontinue all efforts.
I once dated a guy I worked with at my first job out of college. When he first started at the firm, he put in all kinds of time at work. One night when we were out to dinner, I asked him why he was doing that, when it seemed like the extra hours weren't necessary (i.e., no immediate deadlines, etc.) and nobody else was doing it.
He confided in me that he was making all this effort at the beginning to create the impression that he was a hard worker, a good employee, etc., so he could put in less work later and still maintain that reputation.
It took a few seconds until something clicked in my head. I looked up at him from my plate and said, "That's the same thing you're doing with me, isn't it, you b@st@rd?"
Silence.
I dumped him.
You should have seen this coming, but since you didn't...you should break things off with him now. It is definitely not normal that he was begging you to move in with him within a week. He was up to no good from the start.
2007-04-19 06:14:49 · answer #2 · answered by kcbranaghsgirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he got comfortable with your relationship and no longer needs to reassure you that it is there. Tell him you miss the sweet nothings and maybe he will surprise you with one once in a while. As far as backing off on the getting married thing, reality may have hit him and it scared him a little. If it is meant to be, it will be... when the time is right.
2007-04-19 05:59:16 · answer #3 · answered by harleychic 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if this helps, but Romeo & Juliet by Dire Straits was voted the best love song of all time. It is a very romantic song
2016-05-18 23:28:37 · answer #4 · answered by kaley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is you guys lIve together and see each other constantly so being that he gotten so use to you its like well ive done everything to get to this point so he thinks you two are settled. Try spending time away from each other like hanging with friends, His heart will grow fonder and he'll realize how much he misses you.
2007-04-19 06:00:00 · answer #5 · answered by milly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He was romantic when he was trying to win you. He won the prize and maybe just doesn't realize he has to put a little effort into keeping it. Talk to him and try a few small romantic gestures of your own to show him romance is not about how much you spend, it's about showing you care.
2007-04-19 06:02:11 · answer #6 · answered by dcmt5876 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After time I think we just slip into a comfort zone and that is when things become routine. The spark isn't gone, its just on the back burner. You need to do something to wake him up that all. Guys will take things for granted after awhile. If you don't do something to wake him up he will just continue to take everything for granted and believe me it will get worse.
2007-04-19 06:37:43 · answer #7 · answered by syns_pleasure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why buy the cow when the milk is free, ,you moved in with him, your life has become routine, you need to either move out or talk to him about his lack of enthusiasm
2007-04-19 05:59:09 · answer #8 · answered by rich2481 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you guys rushed into things?
Now that he has you where he wants you, he doesn't feel the need to woo you anymore.
Why don't you move out. Tell him you both need your space to see where this relationship is going.
2007-04-19 05:58:27 · answer #9 · answered by Rhi 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
first talk to him
2nd he might feel like he has u already so doesnt have to put forth that much effort in keeping u
2007-04-19 05:58:32 · answer #10 · answered by jenivive 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋