Friends with benefits? Should i do it?

Question

I dated this one guy a few months ago and he was my friend before...we never dated until this jan because of the age difference ( 4 years...don't worry I'm 18). We never had sex but we did everything up until that. Ever since we broke up, he acts sometimes like we're still dating. He calls me names, and he likes sleeping with me but he's never tried anything on me ever since. Lately, though i miss having him around and i know that we weren't too great at the relationship part, but the sexual was amazing. Do you think it would be bad if i ask him to be friends with benefits for a while?

the thing is that i was his first girlfriend...yes hes pretty old but he always said he couldn't find the right one..he considered me the "one" for him but the age dif was 2 much 2 handle..i'm not so sure he would go and find someone else mostly because he is so picky...its taken him 22 years to find someone he even liked..i'm not sure he'll find another that quickly

Answer 1

There's no problem in asking him, Dina, but be careful that you don't insult him. Wanting him only for his body could insult a more sensitive guy, just like it would insult a woman. This being said, enter into the conversation with great care & make DAMN sure you lay out exactly what you WANT & DON'T want. Try your very best to be sensitive about it & compliment him wherever you can. Let him know you consider him a good friend & he was a great lover. Until one or the other of ya's finds something better, best to have a safe option to blow off some sexual tension now & again, right? There is safety in having a F-buddy, but risks that one or the other might get attached or fall in love. I sai go for it, but be on aleert; if you or he starts falling, make sure you speak up. You don't want to hurt him. best of Luck!

Answer 2

Sounds OK to me hun. After my relationship with my husband broke down I used to go out and after quite a while I met someone, neither of us wanted a relationship but we both liked sex and the banter that went with it. We called one another our shag buddy!! It worked for a while, wuite a while actually then we parted terms and I am now in an extremely loving relationship with my bf of 2 years this June, its all so different this time around because I made sure I was ready for a relationship.

One thing though, make your boundaries clear and make sure you both know where you stand.

Have fun

Answer 3

Not bad but demeaning! When you lower your standards you lower your self esteem. Can't tell you how many women start out playing this friends with benefits game and then later are all angry at the guy for taking advantage. Of what? What she offered which was foolish if you want self esteem you must do things that are esteem able. If you think having sex casually with someone that you are not in love with will make you feel good about yourself you need to rethink your motives. How do you think you will feel after a few weeks of this when he walks in and says .... Thanks but no thanks I have found someone that I can care about. You're going to feel like yesterdays tossed aside newspaper. Please think things through to the logical conclusion.

Answer 4

Do you really thing you could keep that seperate? Chances are that you wouldn't. You would fall in love with him (or at least have that strong attachment that comes with that degree of intimacy).
Hold out for someone that will be great at the relationship part, don't settle for the bedroom. There's so much more than that!

Answer 5

i'm a sixteen 300 and sixty 5 days previous woman, and that i develop into of being FWB with this mate who fancies me, and that i went ballistic! i in my opinion think of its heading into risky waters. I propose, a woman who sleeps with somebody she knows yet not in a relationship is right now referred to as a ****, yet as quickly as she says they're FWB its nice. How do this artwork? and that i don't care in case you disagree with me, he sounds like he's making use of you. you're purely a toy to him, he can use you while he needs. i'm nonetheless a virgin (entire virgin, in no way even kissed a guy) so atm im questioning having intercourse could desire to be some thing specific shouldn't it? not purely a speedy element at 4am after which you circulate living house lower back. do not you appreciate your self sufficient to be attentive to what to do? Sorry if this sounds harsh, yet come on woman! Use your suggestions means

Answer 6

If that is what you want go for it. However keep in mind that it doesn't stay that way for long. Someone will get hurt as someone will fall in love. Sex is too powerful for it not to happen at some point.

Answer 7

I don't recommend it, FWB always ends up with someone getting hurt. And you lose focus on looking for someone to have amazing sex with AND have a great relationship with.

Answer 8

you can ask him, but if he has any feelings for you left it will just tear him up when he realizes he cant be with you, that and the fact that there will be times when you go out with other guys. How do you think he will take it. Im thinking it will probably go sour from there on, but good luck.

Answer 9

I always hear those end up in hearbreak and maybe people not even being friends at all, I personally dont ever wanna try it, I guess as long as you dont get emotionally attached and know its only physical and can deal with him being with other girls then i guess its ok.

Answer 10

He'd probably be up for it, just make sure you are. some girls think they can handle it, but get possessive once they get there. I personally have had those relationships before, they don't last long, but that's OK. Just protect yourself!!!!!!