My boyfriend wants to go to this guy's (call him B) bachelor party tomorrow night. The thing is, B used to be my boyfriend's best friend until he lied to him about cheating on his fiance' which my boyfriend (and me for that matter, since his fiance' is my best friend) took very seriously. It caused my boyfriend to drop out of being the best man for B's wedding which I applauded him for. I also don't like B because, not only is he extremely annoying and full of himself, but he thinks he can get with any girl he wants.... including me (he can't but he likes to think he could). I don't like him and never have. My boyfriend was absolutely FURIOUS with B after the lying situation. However, my boyfriend now says he wants to go to his bachelor party which is tomorrow night at Hooters. I honestly wouldn't mind him going there if it were with any of his other friends, and I used to be a Hooters Girl so that particluar restaurant doesn't bother me at all. But I know how B is and I don't want...
2007-04-19 05:02:34 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
my boyfriend to hang out with him. He's being a total hipocrite. Should I just let him go and not worry about it or stand my ground?
Also, trust is not an issue. I trust my boyfriend VERY much. As I said, I used to be a Hooters Girl so the fact that they would be going to a restaurant with girls in short-shorts and low-cut tank tops doesn't bother me one bit. It's the fact that he would be going with B.
2007-04-19 05:04:43 · update #1
Also, we ask each other if the other wouldn't mind if we did something. It's a matter of respect. And I dropped 5 friends a few months after we started dating because he didn't like the way they treated me and they were all bad influences on me. B is a bad influence on him. See my point?
2007-04-19 05:11:56 · update #2
mchireangel, for your answer I wanted to add this bit: B has cheated on his fiance' (my friend) many many times. Me and my boyfriend did try to tell her but she didn't believe either of us because "he would never do that to her" so she says.
2007-04-19 06:07:23 · update #3
OK, I'm not trying to be his mother, people. If I wanted to go out with one of my girl friends that he didn't like and he told me he'd appreciate it if I didn't go, I wouldn't go (yes, it's happened before on many occasions). Shouldn't he respect my wishes the way I respect his?
2007-04-19 06:31:45 · update #4
My fiance and I went through a situation similar to this. Mine backed out too and didn't attend the bachelor party. The groom was very hurt, our other friends NEVER understood, took sides and it has caused what I fear is irreparable damage in our circle of friends. In retrospect, I wish I he would've at least gone to the bachelor party.
Are you guys still going to the wedding? Then of course he should go........
I know it bugs you but look at it this way......
This was one of his closest friends (obviously or he wouldn't have been the best man). That alone must have been really hard for him to back out on that. Still even thought this guy did a slimy thing and has a certain machismo you are not fond of that still doesn't mean he can't remain friends with the guy or go to his party.
I know you are trying to be a loyal friend, but at a certain point you have to take a look at the situation........your friend is still marrying him even though she knows he cheated on her? (Love is blind, eh?) You can go on not liking the guy, but by you and your boyfriend not being supportive and voicing your opinion you could end up losing your friendship with this girl.
Comon, how many of us have been in a spat with our significant other, told our friends, our friends ended up hating the guy telling us they never liked him and then we got back together with the guy and then there is the big white elephant in the room.......comon people raise your hand, we've all been in this situation at some point whether we are the friend with the foot in their mouth or the girl with the jerk boyfriend.
It may bother you, but by TELLING him you don't want him to go could cause tension between the two of your and your relationship down the road. Focus more on the two of you and you'll be MUCH happier for it.
2007-04-19 08:21:36 · answer #1 · answered by Kati B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I let you know what my fiance and I are doing...we are combining our 2 events into some thing with the intention to be rather a laugh. You realize the men towards the ladies. We're doing our possess paintball match. We believe each and every different one hundred% however we are combining our 2 events in order that method nobody sooner or later is in a position to begin any issues and I can see distinctive contributors in my fiance's household doing simply that. We are heading off feasible harm and jealous emotions among the 2 folks down the street due to the fact plenty of this bachelor and bachelorette celebration stuff is nonsense. We're breaking the principles and being inventive. So seeing that you are already married why now not mix the events? I believe that might be a blast. Good good fortune!
2016-09-05 17:23:32 · answer #2 · answered by fertig 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A bachelor party is one night! If it was going to be every Friday night indefinitely, I would say you have something to be very mad about. And Hooters! Nothing wrong with that! It isn't even like they are going to a hotel room and there is going to be 2 strippers and a sex show! Chill, majorly.
There is always some guy friend of the boyfriend that the girlfriend can't stand. Always.
2007-04-19 05:22:44 · answer #3 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like the REAL issue is that you want your boyfriend to stop being friends with B because you don't like him.
Unfortunately, you can't pick and choose his friends for him. In regards to a comment you made previously about ending some friendships that he didn't approve of necessarily, while it may have benefitted you in the long run, and he may have been the catalyst, at the end of the day, that decision was yours and yours alone. It doesn't appear by your statements that he told you to do it. To that end, it's not fair of you to put that kind of request on him.
It's not that big of a deal, to be honest. Guy friendships are different that girl friendships. Your boyfriend was mad at what B did, but wasn't willing to end the friendship.
It's going to happen. Whoever you're with - they're going to have friends that you don't like for whatever reason. This won't ever change, and it won't ever end. IMO, it's actually pretty selfish to ask your boyfriend to not be there for a friend simply because you don't like him or what he did.
I know I sound like I'm lecturing here, and I don't mean to. I'm speaking from experince here....I'm married - and my husband has a few friends that I simply put DO NOT LIKE for a whole multitude of reasons. Period. End of sentence. I think they're obnoxious, arrogant, full of themselves, and make poor and irresponsible decisions. I often think to myself - "if it were anyone else..." not unlike what you said above.
With that said, every last one of them is welcome in my home, because they're my husband's friends. They're all greeted with a smile, and offered something to eat, or to drink. I'd never make them feel less than welcome. While I don't agree with his friends' decisions or attitudes, it doesn't mean that my husband is going to end their friendship, and and I need to accept that (albiet begrudgingly) I also have to remember that at the end of the day...my husband is not his friends.
Just grin and bear it. It's one evening. Life will go on. I promise!
2007-04-19 07:37:36 · answer #4 · answered by sylvia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand my fience has an anooying best friend who is full of himself too. Don't worry about it let him go, you trust him after all. This guy "B" is his friend and there is nothing you can do about it I know he hurt your friend and everyone was upset but eventually you have to get over it. She obviously did or they wouldn't have gotten married, or if you kept that info from her then what kind of friend are you. By the way I agree with everyone else you are his fience not his mother.
2007-04-19 05:46:05 · answer #5 · answered by mhireangel 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just let him go without making a big fuss--he did the right thing when he needed to, and I'm sure he still has some friendship feelings for the guy. Let them go out for their wings, and keep your mouth shut--he already knows how you feel about the guy.
2007-04-19 05:09:26 · answer #6 · answered by melouofs 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
"Let" him? Who are you, his mother? If my boyfriend ever told me he wasn't "letting" me do something, I'd tell him to take a hike.
If you trust your boyfriend, that's what matters. You don't get to decide who your boyfriend's friends are. If he wants to hang out with this guy, so be it. You can voice your opinion if he asks for it, but otherwise keep your nose out of his business.
Now ... if B is physically or verbally abusive towards you or someone else, that's another story. But if you just plain don't like him, you're out of luck. By all means, YOU can ignore him, but don't lead your boyfriend around by the nuts and decide who he can and can't hang out with.
2007-04-19 05:08:35 · answer #7 · answered by BeatriceBatten 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
I hear what you are saying but you should just let him go considering he 'wants' to go. Also dont hold a grudge with him for going because that will cause unnecissary arguments. Let him go, tell him have fun and leave it at that.
2007-04-19 05:21:12 · answer #8 · answered by chase.casey 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
go ahead and don't stress about him going.
maybe once he's spent some more time with this jackhole, B, then your b/f will be able to see B for who he really is (which will hopefully cause your b/f to want to avoid B in the future.)
2007-04-19 05:13:51 · answer #9 · answered by spiryl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that I dont want him to go...especially since it is at Hooters...I dont want my fiance drooling over cheap sluts...and yes, if you work at hooters that is bcuz the only thing you're good for is jacking off to...If you've got some brains, get a BETTER job...I'm not telling you to get a better job...I'm just venting...Sorry If I upset anyone, but those are my opinions...
2007-04-19 06:22:05 · answer #10 · answered by emeia04 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋