Should it be the Groom or the Bride (or both together) to pick out Ushers for a wedding? Should it relatives or close friends? And if you ask someone to be an Usher instead of a Groomsman, does it mean they are not good enough for that part? We already have 6 on each side to stand up with us. I don't want a whole bunch of people up there. Thanks
2007-04-19 05:00:07 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Ideally, it should involve both of you. It can be realtives and/or close friends - whoever you want and whoever is willing to do it.
The whole idea of "titles" in a wedding is bullcrap, because it creates a "He's better than me" mentality. But ushers are typically people who you like but who you are not close enough with to ask to be a groomsman or a male bridal attendant.
If there's someone you want as a groomsman, ask him. Don't feel conflicted by numbers or how many attendants the bride has. What if the bride has 3 close friends and the groom has 6? Should she round up 3 more random people to "fill spots"? Or should he cut 3 friends to make things even? Pretty stupid and inconsoderate, isn't it?
2007-04-19 05:05:27 · answer #1 · answered by BeatriceBatten 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the bride and the groom usually pick them together and it can be whoever you want it to be. i understand about having too many people as the groomsmen/bridesmaids...we have 5 on each side already. it was hard for my fiancee to choose who would stand up with him and who would be the ushers...but in the end he went with the guys he was closest to to be groomsmen. if it hurts someone's feelings, then they can always choose to say no when you ask them to be ushers instead. its your wedding and you do what makes you happy. good luck!
2007-04-19 06:44:47 · answer #2 · answered by cubanirishgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, ushers aren't part of the wedding party, and they don't wear tuxes - just a nice suit, dress shirt, tie, dress shoes. In some cultures, "ushers" are the old fashioned word for what we now call 'groomsmen'. But when the duties are just ushering at the church, they are just ushers. Note them in the wedding program.
2016-05-18 23:13:31 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband chose his. He asked if he should put my 1 boy cousin in, but I'm not close to him AT all and didn't want him to pump a close friend of his for my cousin, but appreciated that he was considerate of my family. I think you can make suggestions, but in our case, I picked the girls who did stuff and he picked the boys. Also, we would have ended up with 15 bridesmaids and groomsmen if we asked them all, so we weeded it down to the 4 necessary people in his and my life and had those and the rest were servers and ushers. They didn't take it a slap in the face or anything, and we included them in all the groomsmen pics, because they were still his good friends, so it wasn't liek they were less, just different!
2007-04-19 05:28:14 · answer #4 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't the groomsmen be ushers as well? That's what most weddings I've been to have done.
Generally the groom picks his groomsmen, and the bride picks her bridesmaids.
2007-04-19 05:10:40 · answer #5 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the wedding I am doing right now the Groom and Bride did it together and they are acquaintances and some friends it doesnt matter everyone has a special part when they get to help even the person standing there while people sign the book
2007-04-19 05:47:31 · answer #6 · answered by Chloe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I chose the female attendants and my fiance chose the male attendants. Both people can play a role in the selections of any attendants, but that's just how it worked for us. I don't think that it means they aren't good enough or close enough to you to be groomsmen or bridesmaids, just that you want them to be a part of your big day along with the groomsmen and bridesmaids. You need lots of help on your big day.
2007-04-19 05:33:37 · answer #7 · answered by orangeflameninja 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ushers usually don't stand up front, they seat people. you can use anybody and it doesn't matter who chooses them. most guys dont like to go to weddings, even less like to be in them. so no they wont take it as they arent good enough.
2007-04-19 06:08:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i picked out the usher for my family side and let him pick the ushers that will be sittign his family
i usher for my family is my cousin and his usher is his younger bro
2007-04-19 06:23:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You choose together. Usually they would be older brothers or relatives who wouldn't have been suitable for groomsmen, or just friends.
2007-04-19 08:40:52 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋