Can mothers have separation anxiety?

Question

My son is 6 months old and I'm still having trouble being away from him. Its affecting my marriage and my work environment. I don't think talking to a doctor would help, I just want to know if its just me or do other mothers go thru the same thing every day. When I'm not in the same room with him, I wonder if he's okay, if someone is watching him, if he's looking for me, etc. and I just have a ball of fear in my chest until I pick him up after work. Please tell me if anyone else has felt this way and if it every gets easier.

Answer 1

oh yeah! The first time my boyfriend and i went out for the first time without our baby, i thought i was gonna die! I called my mom once we got there, NO ANSWER! I panicked i just knew something horrible had happened, just as we were about to leave, my mom called from my grandmas house, letting me know that they were there. (it was a concert X fest) after every song ended i called to check. When I'm at work i always think about her and worry if she is OK and what she's doing and yes, if she going, "where the heck is that mommy?" She is 8 1/2 months old and I'm still doing it. Is this your first? Time will make this easier on you soon enough and when or if baby number 2 comes it will be way easier. Just tell your self he's fine! Of course someone is watching him. And I'm sure he's having too much fun to Even notice she's gone! This helps me most of the time. Good luck!

Answer 2

Yes, mothers have separation anxiety also. I had it with my second child and decided to quit my job and stay home with him. I didn't have the option to stay home with my first so I had to deal with her being away from me. I would suggest that you call the place where he is during the day as often as you want to make sure he is okay (either a sitter or day care center). That might put your mind at ease. In the evenings, maybe you could start to leave him for a few minutes at a time and work up to an hour or so. Go for a walk, take a book to a park and read,etc. I know how hard it is, but it will become easier. Good luck.

Answer 3

I am day care provider and I do believe sometimes it's much harder on the parents than the children. We have a bustle of happy, involved kids playing and parents saying all sorts of things to drag the moment out in hope the child will cry after them. Some feel more needed by their child when they display this behavior. This is very frustrating to a busy provider. It's better on everyone involved that this relation be one of trust and a good feeling, because I promise your child is going to pick up on your tension. I have parents leave a picture of themselves that the child has access to during the day when they might miss the parent. The child can get the picture and carry it with them as much as they need. This might be a good idea for you, too. Take pictures with you to work. Also, some centers provide you on-line access to view your child in your absence. You can watch even though you aren't actually there. Good luck in your endeavor, I know entrusting someone with your child is a very important decision. If you can't be comfortable in your choice of daycare, you won't be very productive!

Answer 4

Yes mama, you can have it . I did, too. It was so bad for me, I cried at work. I'm sure they are doing a great job caring for him, and I'm sure he's okay. And yes it should get easier for you, sugar. You have to realize if there was a problem they would call you, no news is good news, etc. There are day cares that have cameras so you can watch your child over the Internet, you might want to see if anyone in your area offers that. From your computer at work you can see what's going on and feel at ease.

I'm just guessing this might be your first baby...after my first I thought about packing a suitcase, leaving my husband and going away with my baby. It gets better with the husbands over time, too! They don't seem to realize how serious this mothering business is, but they do get better at not wrecking your nerves after a while.

If you do decide to talk to a doctor, don't make the mistake of going to your OB/gyn - their job is over and you only need to see them for you next PAP smear. Talk to your primary care doc if you think you need something for anxiety, hon. Take care and keep your chin up, it does get better.

Answer 5

My oldest son is 22 and in the ARMY and I still have separation anxiety. My youngest went to live with his dad when he was 9, and I almost went crazy worrying about him. You are a MOTHER, its natural. If you can't be with your child, call as often as you can. You just need reassuring that he is OK. Also, you do not trust your child care provider. Try to find someone you trust. Play hide and seek with your son. It will help both of you. He will know you are returning, and you will start to feel better when he is out of sight. Hang in there, it gets easier, but it will never go completely away.

Answer 6

you can absolutely have separation anxiety! and you're not even close to the only mom who goes through it. it's really hard to balance the guilt of being a working mom with the need and/or desire to have a career. i have two kids. i had to work full time with the first, tried daycare and hated it. how could i really trust a stranger with my baby? even if they do have the best intentions, how much attention can they give my child when they have 4 or 5 others to look after? i didn't calm down until my mother started watching her. luckily i can stay home with the kids now, i love it.

if it's bad enough to distract you at work or cause other problems, you may want to think about other options, like staying at home for a while, leaving your child with an individual you know and trust, or working a schedule opposite of your husband so one of you is always with your daughter.

Answer 7

This is your first child obviously. It is normal. I remember when I had my first (out of 7), and was a stay at home mom.

I would not leave my baby with a baby sitter to go out with my husband for many months. Finally when I did, I would only leave him with my mom, who had to come for the weekend as she lived an hour and a half away.

It does get easier, so don't fret. But do make sure you have a responsible adult with the baby while you are at work. Make sure you have verified references before you hire anyone. I would also install a hidden video camera in each room so that you know exactly what has been going on when you were at work.

Congratulations, and welcome to motherhood.

Answer 8

This is very normal. When I went back to work after having my son I went throught this as well. The best advice I can give you is make sure he's in an environment you are comfortable with (like, my dad watches my son) family, friends, ect.
Also, you can always call a few times a day to check-up on him. The dr. would tell you not to worry about it. Keep busy and it will pass with time, trust me.

Answer 9

Hi there, I just laugh about my past 3 years of panic now. I was not able to go anywhere without carrying xanax. Fear of having another attack was the most important subject of my days.When i first found joe barry's web site i started to cry because of my happiness.

Free audio to end anxiety and panic attacks fast?

Answer 10

Yes, it is entirely possible for a mother to have this. Especially if this is your first child. Ask yourself, however, what is the best thing for my child to learn indpendence and personal responsibility. Use "self talk" to keep reminding yourself that you are doing the right thing.
It will get easier with time..