I just read this post that kind of disturbed me. This lady said this church wouldnt let her have her wedding?

Question

there because she got a divorce from the guy she was previously married to. She said she divorced him because he was physically abusive and that he almost killed her. The priest told her that In the eyes of God death is better than divorce. I couldnt believe that the priest said that to her. Does anyone agree with this priests statement?

Answer 1

The fact that some priest may have overstated the case is irrelevant. The central issue is that the Catholic Church follows the biblical teaching that marriage vows are until death, and that man cannot separate what God has joined together. Someone in an abusive relationship may have to separate physically and live apart from their spouse. That is a separate issue. However, no act of a civil court can undo an act of God, and a sacrament is an act of God. Can a civil court unbaptize a person? Or unordain a priest? Then by what logic should a civil court be able to unmarry someone married by God through a sacrament of the Church? Therefore the Church does not recognize divorce. Therefore someone who obtains a divorce is still married. Therefore the Church obviously cannot allow that person to marry someone else, unless after a thorough investigation the first marriage is found to be invalid, in which case an annulment could be issued.
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Answer 2

eek

I was raised Catholic.
I married a wonderful woman who is Protestant, and our wedding was performed at a United Church of Christ.
The next time I went to church, still super happy and crazy smiles, I told my friends about the wedding and such.
I was taken aside and told by our priest that I could not receive communion until he blessed or sanctified our marriage. In other words, the Catholic church did not recognize it until he blessed it.

I never went to a Catholic church again.

I later converted to the LDS faith.
Marriage is sacred, and sealed for eternity. If there is a divorce, it can only be for two reasons, Abuse or an Affair.

So!

I'm not sure why a priest would say that, other than being stuck on direct interpretation of the scriptures, and not being able to apply it to this person and her situation.

That being said, the grounds for divorce appear to be the more important factor, and physical abuse is not tolerable.

I included a ink that asks your question in a variety of styles, but the second link from the scripture, appears to be the priests foundation for his opinion.

I don't think God would want us to stay in a marriage that causes that type of suffering.
Mark 10:2-12; 1 Cor. 7:5

Answer 3

I do not agree with that statement... but was told the same thing. I was married to an abusive man and we went to "counceling" from our priest at the time. The priest basically told me I needed to be a better wife! I was divorced shortly thereafter. When I was preparing to get re-married years later the priest at my new church frowned upon the fact that I was divorced. I had to go through some things to get my 1st marriage annulled so that the church would recognize that I wasn't still married to my first husband. It was all very surreal... Sometimes I think the Christian faith is very narrow minded... they fail to see the whole picture.

Answer 4

No, I do not agree with that statement. Although divorce is a sin, it is not an unpardonable sin any more than any other would be. The lady was wise to get away from an abusive situation and although I know the Catholic church is against divorce, I feel that the priest was totally out of line and showed no compassion whatsoever. This is another example of a church body making rules that are not scripturally sound.

Answer 5

No, I do not agree with this. As I recall, I have not read any verse which says death is better than divorce.
Divorce is a bad thing, and it's condemned by God, except it was because of adultery or unfaithfulness. God does not condemn the individuals involved, except those who intentionally divorced his wife/her husband unjustly.
I believe there are many gray areas which need to be addressed by the church more biblically/contextually and not traditionally. Unfortunately, priests and/or pastors are human beings just like us with flesh and blood which often prompted us do things without futher consideration.
I am truly sorry to hear the story, I think she should check other bible based churches in her area, one of them may be willing to help her (I know some churches do). God bless!

Answer 6

I have heard that before you and yes it is in the bible that the only reason to divorce your spouse is for cheating but for me who is on my second marriage believe if it was not working and you tried everything you could then you need to cut your loses and move on. I am much happier now with my new husband and wish you friend the best luck on finding a church. She might want to do a private wedding in her home or at the court house if she wants to be at that church. Or find another church because the priest dont own the church the people do.

Answer 7

He was probably a very old priest, one who grew up in a time when women were subservient to men. Since most churches have more then one priest, she should get someone else to officiate her wedding.

For the record, not all priests think like this, so if you're going to flame this question with "All priests are idiots" and "how stupid is religion", one person doesn't define a religion. Also, as I said, it's very likely he grew up in a different era then we are in. I bet your grandparents would still think like this, since that's the era they grew up in. You stayed married no matter what, divorce was a scandal. Now, it's common place.

Answer 8

Not me. There is one reason listed in the Bible for divorce. There is much discussion of what is included in that, but I would say that this is. I know some people who were in the above situation and they are accepted as full members in the churches I have been involved with.

Answer 9

I agree with you. The priest sounds like a hardliner. Sometimes you need to take everything into consideration. I'd find a different church with a more reasonable priest.
G

Answer 10

No, I certainly don't agree with the priest. I can't believe he said that if he really did. Although I remember my mom telling me that in the 60's her Catholic priest almost wouldn't let her marry my dad who was a Lutheran.