good intro for english assessment??

Question

Hi guys, do you think this intro is good for my english assessment or is to broad or too plain. Should i add something or remove somthing....what do you think....

Here it is:

The 17th century. “What was it like?”, you may ask. Arguments over religious beliefs, poor people working for rich people, the plague, natural disasters, sexual advances, poverty, disrespect for the poor and accidents in the workplace. Does a sigh escape your mouth as you contemplate these touchy matters? Perhaps the first thought that hits you is “that was way back in the past”. Unfortunately, many do not realise that these issues are still present in many parts of our world today. The 21st century.

Thanks!

Answer 1

It seems a little broad and drags a little, too. Consider revising it to grab readers' attention, and to more clearly set the tone for what your are about to explain. Try writing less from a point of talking to, and more from a point of talking at. Less questions, more statements.

Answer 2

I strongly suggest my students avoid rhetorical questions. It risks insulting the reader who most likely already has your question in mind.

Answer 3

Lots of sentence fragments.