Sweetheart, it's okay to be scared - especially after a real bad car crash. You definately shouldn't feel 'alone' on this though, I'm almost 19 years old, and I still don't have my drivers license either...because I am terrified that I am just going to slip up, and something real bad will happen.
I recently got married, he is 21, and I have him drive me everywhere. He is from about 4 and a half hours away from where I live, so every time we go back and fourth to visit, he gets stuck driving. I always tell him he's crazy for even thinking about me driving on the highway, through one of the most busy cities in the state. While we pass 18 wheelers and stuff, I basically think that I can put up some imaginary barrier between me and the truck, because for some odd reason, I always think that I can hold my hand towards the truck and keep a steady eye on it, my 'magical forces' will hold it back. HAHA. Anyways, even though I can't totally help you, all I can say is - keep calm. You'll get your license when you're ready for it. Don't be afraid to e-mail me, if you want to talk sometime. It's my username, at yahoo.com
2007-04-19 00:27:35
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answer #1
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answered by jesa ? 3
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Well first thing is you need to get over your fear before you can get your license. Try sitting in the drivers seat of the car. the car doesnt have o be turned on. While your siting there think of driving and where you would drive to. After a few imes of doing this, start the car when you get in it. Yo dont have to go anywhere but it will get you used to the fact that you will be driving it soon. When your ready, with a parent in the car of course, take it around the block a few times. Each time you go out go a little bit farther.
Also, try talking to your mom or dad about it. Explain what is keeping you from wanting to do this. Explain why you are so scared and what exactly scares you. If anyone was hurt or killed in the car crash the first thing you have to do in order to feel better is forgive yourself and know that it wasnt your fault. Its ok to be upset and sad for the other people, but you must never let it get in the way of your daily life.
If talking to your family doesnt help maybe try talking to a counslor, like at achool. Just take a big breath and tell yourself that everything will be ok and that you will be able to do this safely.
Goodluck!! I wish you the best!
2007-04-19 07:29:14
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answer #2
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answered by Mel 2
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Are you ok with riding in a car?
If not, then don't even think about getting a license. Horrible experiences like yours take time to get over, you just need some time. Once you are comfortable being a passenger, you may consider getting a license.
If you are ok with riding in a car, your fear is based more on what may happen with you behind the wheel then what has happened with you in the car. This is good fear, believe it or not. The trick here would be to do this in steps. In the states we get "learner's permits" that allow us to drive with a parent or another licensed driver. If that option is available to you, then that would be the thing to shoot for. You want to be able to "learn". With experience, comes trust. You may initially want to find a large parking lot, or an empty field. Where I grew up it snowed alot in the winter, and so many times as we were learning to drive we would go to a large empty parking lot full of snow and ice and put ourselves into "emergency situations". We found ourselves spinning out of control, and when you turned the wheel this way you had no control, but when you turned the wheel the other way, you came out of the spin. I would guess a big muddy field would have the same effect as long as you didn't get stuck.
There are also schools where this kind of stuff is taught.
You had an unusual experience, and so you desire and require unusual methods to gain your confidence. Take it slow, having a license does not mean you have to drive on the open road, its just a step in the process that gets you to that point. Have a plan, so that when you go into the exam room to take the test, you will know that this is step one. That it doesn't mean you will be driving home, it means that you have started the process towards being able to drive some time in the future, whether that is 6 months or 60 years, it will be up to you. (also once you have a plan, talk to your parents, tell them your fears... I guarantee they TOO have fears about this.... and your plan, make sure they will support you on this, that just because you have a license does not mean that you are willing to drive down to the grocery for milk and eggs)
2007-04-19 08:13:03
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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First, I want to say I'm glad you can walk again, even if it is painful.
But you need to take small steps. You know how in movies when people are afraid of something, they slowly get over it? That's what you need to do. Like, everyday you can just sit in your parents car for a few minutes. When you're comfortable with that, maybe you could sit in the car with a parent, but have it on. Once you're comfortable with that, you could slowly learn how to drive it around an empty place where no one could hit you. Baby steps.
Have you tried talking to a counselor? Or maybe there is even books about this.
Few minutes later:
I wanted to apologize to "Mel" because I basically gave the same advice as her. Sorry! I usually don't read other answers before answering!
2007-04-19 11:23:21
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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It sounds to me like you have what is called, in the US, Posttraumatic Stress (PTSD). It is very common after going through what you have been through. Many people get it, Solders, Police, people who witness or are victims of a crime, and accident victims. It can be treated and the treatment works.
What happens in PTSD is that what you experienced was so overwhelming that you sort of shut down-like a computer when you open too many web pages at the same time. And that creates a situation where you’re “stuck,” in your mind, at the moment of the crash. That is to say that on some level you are, likely, re-experiencing the trauma whenever you are in a similar situation or reminded of what happened. People who have this often have bad dreams, are suddenly scared for no reason, and can even have something like hallucinations. All of this is normal and expected. However, if it lasts for more than a month or so after the event, it is an indication that you will need help in getting over it. Help is available and it is nothing to be ashamed of or too worried about. Feel free to contact me or talk to your counselor at school and they will probably be able to refer you to someone.
2007-04-19 13:12:08
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answer #5
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answered by John G 2
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I am 15, and i was in an accident 2 days after my birthday, adn i broke my leg, the doctors told me i shouldnt be alive, and that i shouldnt have a leg, both my bones broke and my tibia was sticking out the side of my leg. But after i pulled through and went through surgery i was told that i might not be able to walk normally for the rest of my life, and they told me i want going to start even tiptoeing for 8 months. Well it has been 6 months and i am walking almost normally. So dont give up hope. And jsut believe that nothing else will happen, and you should do ok. So just believe that you can get it and try your hardest and maby yuo will get it.
2007-04-19 17:43:03
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answer #6
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answered by i love my Emily 2
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I know somewhat how you feel.I was in a car crash. And now i get scared when somebody drives and goes around turns and plays with stuff when they are turning and stuff.I think you should tell your parents how you feel they might be able to help you somewhat.Just breath and you will do fine.Just try to study alil at a time till you can face the fear of the car.Go and sit in a car and see how it feels you have to take baby steps to get back up there.talk to your parents tho.They could help alot.and if you don't want to talk to them go and talk to friends or a teacher you can trust about this stuff too.good luck
2007-04-19 07:56:32
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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Do you really want to learn to drive ? The pain of this memory is to much for you to cope with.You need to feel free of the worry of this.Try counselling. Driving in modern day life is very difficult and stressful.Try doing a Driving hazard perception test on the computer, you can practice for as long as you like without any danger to yourself or anyone else .You may be able to put your fears into perspective .The roots of a good driver are to be aware of the dangers of driving and to be concerned about the welfare of others.You are not alone in feeling like this .You have had first hand experience of being injured very badly.This makes you doubly aware of the problems of road safety, I think you would make a good driver. but there is no need for you to drive if you don't want to.Consider it if you can cope with it.There are other ways to travel. Could you perhaps consider riding a bike this would help to strengthen your legs.Try short journeys in a safe area, first. Build up your confidence gradually with the traffic It is better to stay totally safe away from heavy traffic. email me if you need anymore help.
2007-04-19 07:37:39
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answer #8
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answered by Lindsay Jane 6
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I see you have two options the first continue to use public transport.
A second less palatable option would be to see if you can get counselling through ACC or WINZ.
Another thought I have would be to just sit in the car and get used to the feeling, leaving the doors open so you can get out if you have a panic attack.
It you know someone who you feel is a safe driver perhaps they could sit in the car with you.
You are old enough to be taken seriously by your parents and perhaps you should talk with them when they are in a sympathetic mood.
Good Luck.
2007-04-19 13:13:46
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answer #9
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answered by Murray H 6
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In order to get your driver's license, you must deal with your anger first. It is anger, not fear, that is preventing you from preparing for the written test. Deal with your anger first, prepare for the test, and pass the test. Once on the threshold of driving, you may find, you have no fear.
When I say "deal with your anger", I by no means mean to sound trite. I only mean to identify, your immediate obstacle. You can't change the past. However, you can de-energize it. Competent counseling is always a great help; ultimately you must help yourself. You can start by picking up the road code and studying it, let your anger flow. It won't flow forever, there is an end, the anger will pass. Anger is just one of a number of emotions we have, e.g., fear, loneliness, sadness, all of which are transient, unless we hold onto them.
2007-04-19 20:57:03
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answer #10
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answered by Larry 4
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