well i wont get into great details about my marriage only that i have been married many , many years with plenty of ups and downs. i have never cheated and my wife is a stay @ home mom and doesnt have to work. that doesnt seem to be enough for her anymore and i suspect she may be cheating? she constantly complains and tells me she is leaving. i try to communicate, but she tells me to shut up so i try to restrain myself. i am thinking of just going away for a few days without telling anyone where i am going!! is that wrong or what??
2007-04-18 18:24:59 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you are hoping if you do that, she'll be scared enough to realize how much she really does love you and stop being so difficult.
It won't work.
She'll maybe feel that way privately but she'll be even more angry with you when you do get back. She'll feel even more abandoned than she does now. I'm not saying YOU have abandoned her, only that she feels adrift and needs something to focus on to feel worthwhile. The reason she's taking it out on you is because you're conveniant and she believes you won't desert her.
What you need is to get back in touch with the people you were when you were dating. Go away together or better yet, start a project together. Go camping (nothing like roughing it to bring out the cooperative side of everyone)
More than anything, encourage her to branch out, discover her as a person - not mother and wife. Make her see that you still love who she is beyond those roles she's been playing for years.
2007-04-18 20:01:10 · answer #1 · answered by Cassandra G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you're not thinking of doing this in retaliation to what your wife is doing. If you want to leave and get some space, then do it but be responsible about it and let everyone concerned know where you're going. You don't want people worrying about you, though I think that's the kind of reaction you're hoping to get from your wife. Nevertheless, it's not a good idea.
Your wife may not be cheating but maybe suffering from depression from staying home for so long. Don't just jump to conclusions until you have more proof. In the meantime, a little space is not a bad idea.
2007-04-19 01:52:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Going away without telling anyone is immature. Do something that will make a difference. Go talk to a counselor , or older person that can give you good advice. Ask your wife to go with you after youve had a few visits yourself. Be honest with yourself, are you carrying your half of the load as husband and father. Why does she sound so frustrated ? Why the threats? You cant just shut up...the 2 of you need to be very honest and open about what is going on or you will continue to be miserable. That is not a good legacy or model for your kids. best wishes to you all.
2007-04-19 01:40:40 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to go away, you should leave a note, but not say where you are going. Say you need to get away for a while to think things over and will explain when you return. But when you come back be ready to explain yourself, how you feel and what you have been thinking. Life is real, so is pain. One must take care of one-self in order to be happy & healthy; if you do not - then what good can you do for anybody. No it is not worng in going away & wanting space for yourself - it is how you do it that will cause the effect. Do it in a respectful fashion, and they may not like it, but care for yourself so you can begin to care for others. And if others don't care, at least you do and you will find those around you who do. Good luck, and don't forget to write your thoughts & feelings down so you can explain yourself & so that you are willing to resolve this issue. If you are going to hang with buddies, that might not be a good idea, you may want work this out with yourself first...
2007-04-19 03:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by Amec 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your feeling you want to disappear from life itself at this point of frustration. I just might feel the same way given in the same situation. But you must not think of how angry you are or how hurt you feel at this point.
You need to control those feelings as hard as it is and confront her. Even if she lies you know what she feels and if you can work with it. If she is having an affair and says it to your face or even loves another then I would walk away if I were in your shoes in that situation. If she lies then she loves you enough to care about your feelings and I would try to work on my marriage maybe get a little marriage counseling.
Marriage is a little of give and take my friend sometimes we have to learn how to take.
2007-04-19 01:43:38 · answer #5 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it is wrong, if you need to get away then you need to tell your wife where you are going. you also need to communicate with each other. sounds like your not. you really need just a weekend with the 2 of you and spend the time talking and getting to know each other again. i to am a stay at home mom and to be honest it does get old after a while. but i had worked my whole life till now. so if she has worked before maybe shes just getting bored and needs to just get a part time job. so shes there when the kids go to school and come home. but try to get away for a weekend and get to know each other again. good luck!
2007-04-19 01:38:39 · answer #6 · answered by kameo_44 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she, i think, may be feeling a loss of worth. While being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest things you will ever do, it seems at times when you are going through it, that you aren't doing much. Maybe you should take HER with you to get away. Tell her the kids will be fine with_____. And take her. tell her to pack a small bag of bare essentials, because she will be coming home with a whole suitcase full of fun stuff!
I hope she is not doing u wrong....
2007-04-19 01:33:49 · answer #7 · answered by sandibum 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a perfectly natural response and I would do the same also. When you can't talk to them anymore, the only way to get a 'clean slate' is to 'shock them'. Do something spontaneous, very unexpected and drawn out if needed. Leaving gives each of you the time to think, decide what's next and possibly appreciate the other again.
2007-04-19 01:35:57 · answer #8 · answered by Sheris_Sweet 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you need a vacation from your wife...but more than a few days. Go away and enjoy yourself. but, tell her you are taking some time off for yourself. Then do it...I don't think it is a good idea to leave her to worry about you, regardless of what she is doing or has done.
2007-04-19 01:28:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, thats not really appropriate... are you planning on being naughty?? it seems to me that she needs some spice in her life, and thats not your fault. staying at home can be dull... busy but its always the same. have you thought about going away with her? you mentioned that you think she may be cheating, therefore you go away and.......? cheat? not a solution. focus on her and her needs, as well as your relationship together
2007-04-19 01:30:32 · answer #10 · answered by *never give up* 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋