30 years ago, I wrote a manuscript and quite stupidly cast a friends mother in a very negative light and certainly embarrassed her as well as her children - it was never published, but they did read my work - I don't know what was going through my head - I do not normally do mean things but in retrospect, this was not nice. I tried to bring out an aspect of her life that would have been best kept private and did not ask her permission - it will never be published.
It was mostly ignored at the time and we never had a falling out.. I remained friends with all involved - So - do I offer a long overdue apology to Mother [ now near 90 and sharp ] and son or do I just let it go.. I do suffer it sometimes but only am concerned about their feelings - would a long overdue apology re-visit a forgotten hurt or be welcome?
2007-04-18 17:20:10 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Obviously, I have no real idea, because I don't know your friends at all, but it's an interesting question, so I've been thinking about it- How about if you start with the son and ask him your question hypothetically? You know, "say you had done...." and see what he THINKS his wish would be, anyway...best I can do. Good luck to you.
2007-04-18 17:33:54 · answer #1 · answered by Ja'aj };> 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are on good terms with them. This means they have forgiven you and have forgot the incidence. Your asking for apology after 30 long years would certainly rekindle in them your act and may make the life of 90 year old lady bitter. Since you had written (and not published) something, you ought to forget this yourself. Destroy what you have written so that it does not fall in any other person's hand.
2007-04-19 00:33:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you could tweak this question right here and offer it as an official apology. It sounds that it would be well received and they would most likely say, "Ahhhh... don't worry about that. It was a long time ago, but thank you just the same for considering our feelings all these years."
2007-04-19 00:38:01 · answer #3 · answered by NONAME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a nice visit with her (bring her some cookies) would be good. Tell her that this has troubled you for some time, and you're embarrassed and sorry for any grief it may have caused her and her family and ask her to forgive you. Closure is good, and I don't think it would make her feel bad. She would probably think how sweet you are for caring after all this time. Do it.
2007-04-19 00:27:50 · answer #4 · answered by KIZIAH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would apologize so my conscioous would be clear. Kinda selfish but the mother probably realized a long time ago you were venting. If not, and she is still angry about it, it will do wonders for everyone to discuss it. Besides, it might make her happy to realize you no longer feel that way. I see no reason NOT to discuss it.
2007-04-19 00:30:01 · answer #5 · answered by strpenta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the universe wants you to make an appology, an opprotunity will come up. perhaps it will somehow come up at dinner. Then a simply stated "I don't know what I was thinking at the time, but it has bothered me since, I hope if I hurt your feelings that you have or can forgive me" should suffice.
I'm guessing that you are the one who has suffered more in this situation. We need to learn to forgive ourselves too...
2007-04-19 00:54:45 · answer #6 · answered by freshbliss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's better to talk about it and offer your apology. even though it happened a long time ago but the memory is still fresh. you will prove your self worth and integrity as a person by apologizing and in return, you will be set free from guilt. it will heal the past and you will feel relieved.
2007-04-19 00:42:07 · answer #7 · answered by Lola 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we are never to old for apologies, thank GOD you have a heart & mind with the knowledge, that you may have caused someone else some pain unnecessarily, so no more suffering from this, go and apoligize immediately as soon as you recieve this email at least make a appointment with mom.
2007-04-19 00:31:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep spanking that monkey spanky. As if they give a toss thirty years down the track. Or are you after forgiveness so that you can publish it, because you think it's the next Broadway masterpiece?
Cheers
Bronco
2007-04-19 00:29:04 · answer #9 · answered by bronkoball 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shine it on. The problem with writing books is that it's an outlet for obsessive-compulsive behavior. Most normal, non-writing people don't focus on anything more than two-weeks out.
Assuming it was fiction---that can be your fall-back position-- at this point I would suggest you quit dwelling on it. They have. Or else they should have.
Move on to another project and don't share it with anybody unless it's a best-seller.
2007-04-19 00:28:38 · answer #10 · answered by Boomer Wisdom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋