I don't know how to handle this one. He was the only man I've ever known to show me true love..the only man in my life who has ever made me feel important. He was my best friend since high school, and now I've lost him for good. We've been divorced for almost seven years, and I'm still not over him. He was the one I would go to whenever I felt sad and alone in this world. His compassion and love for me always made me feel special. Now that it's been confirmed (I found out today) that he is in fact very much in love with someone else and getting married very soon, I know that I will never see him again. I've tried contacting him several times and he hasn't returned my calls. Our mutual friend tells me that's because he doesn't want to hurt me any further. He doesn't feel it's a good idea to keep contact. I know I'll never see him again. I'll never be the same without his love...without hearing him laugh...without him seeing my beauty. I feel as though I've lost myself. Please help.
2007-04-18 17:11:47 · 33 answers · asked by peaceseeker 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It seems you've become so psychologically dependent on this man--seven years divorced!--you've continued to focus on him, & not get on with your own life. You really "lost" him the moment you got the divorce. He has gone on with his life, & that's very healthy. It might make you "feel" better to believe he doesn't want you to contact him because he doesn't want to hurt you again. I doubt that's the reason. IT'S OVER. You have no choice but to accept it. Just think how you would feel if you were his soon to be wife, & his ex kept calling? You divorced, it was over. He's getting married, it's over. He doesn't want contact, it's over. Now. What you truly need is to stop--even in your mind--reaching out to him. I wonder what caused the divorce, & how long you were married. It's possible you were just too clinging from the start. Possible. I don't believe in "one true love." I "hope" you never see him again, because it will help you to let him go. (He's gone, but you need to come to terms with that.) I'm truly sorry you're hurting, but you're the only one who can do anything about that. I know this sounds trite, but keep busy. Do things that give you pleasure, fill your day. Do things with people. & please don't shift gears in such a way that you're searching for someone to fulfill you as you say he did. Let things flow.
Life is too precious to waste on a past that can never be recovered. Move on, & good luck!
2007-04-19 06:39:36 · answer #1 · answered by Psychic Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-18 21:14:55 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your ex husband was all of that why did the two of you get a divorce? If his love was true he would not be getting married to another woman. You both had your chance together and it didn't work out. You need to move on with your life just as he is doing and be happy for him. Leave him be the feelings you feel that are there don't exsist the way you see them, and he does not feel the same about you. If he was everything to you why did you let seven years come between you? Why did you not expess yourself when you had the chance. Something was wrong as to why you divorced in the first place. Get on with yourself and find a relationship where things are mutual between you and another man. He is committed now and has found himself in someone else. It is not your right to come between this man and this woman. He has told you that it is not a good idea to keep contact so you should respect his wishes. Sorry Sweetie.
2007-04-18 18:43:14 · answer #3 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know exactly how you feel. It was the same way with me and my ex-husband. We were best friends but, we sucked at being married. When I found out he got married it broke my heart all over again even after being divorced for nine years. but, as time goes on (as it always does) you'll eventually get over it even though it seems impossible right now. I think part of why it hurts so much is because now you know for sure there is no hope of getting back together. Try to keep your self and your mind busy. Try focusing on a hobby or spend time doing things with your other friends. Your going to be okay.
2007-04-18 17:30:24 · answer #4 · answered by ivylove28 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Losing someone you love is always hard. And painful. It doesn't sound like there were any children so there's no reason for him to keep any kind of contact. You might seriously consider having a small funeral. Make a box, label it "My Love for Him", put in the box something that reminds you of him, go somewhere far away and dig a hole and bury the box. Say a prayer if you wish, leave a flower, turn your back and walk away.
Start a new life. You are beautiful, charming, wise, witty, intelligent, absolutely fantastic. So acknowledge yourself for the great and wonderful person you are. Really love yourself, and if you can love yourself, you will find others will love you.
2007-04-18 17:20:21 · answer #5 · answered by judgebill 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If he is and was all these things to you why did you get divorced?
While he was your first love and will always carry a special place in your heart, it is time to move on... You divorced for a reason or reasons 7 years ago... He has moved on to find love again follow his lead and move on yourself...
By trying to contact him you are holding on to what isn't anymore, by not calling you back he is sending a very clear message... For him the past is the past and better left there...
You need to seek counseling, you still have unresolved issues related to your divorce best resolved with the help of a counselor who can help you accept the past and move on.. Your current mindset is neither productive nor healthy....
2007-04-18 17:21:58 · answer #6 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know what u feel,ive been through and get over w/ that situation already.What I did?, I occupied my time in taking care of our child,my work and my friends.And it helps a lot,ACCEPTANCE is the only key word on that.Its really hard at first but time will healed and you will learn to accept the fact that youre really not meant for each other and just be happy for the chosen life he have now.You need to entertain others also so you will have a point of comparison and you will realized hes not the only guy who can show you the true meaning of love....Just pray for that and you will recover soon....
2007-04-18 17:57:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear your distress. It sounds like you never really let yourself move on. He has found someone he cares about so you should honor his wishes and let him move on. I know this will be very difficult for you but you also will be set free to enjoy someone new. It sounds like you've put part of your life on hold and part of yourself on a shelf. You'll always have the good memories but lets face it you are divorced for a reason. He is not a flawless person. He's your ex.
Sorry to be harsh but its time to wake up from your daydream and find yourself again. Start living again. You are not lost as a matter of fact now is the time to find yourself again.
Blessings.
2007-04-18 17:22:42 · answer #8 · answered by Bree 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why did you divorce him if you are still so much in love with him? After seven years you must realise that you and your ex can not be together. It is time for you to move on no matter how painful it is going to be. It is far better to completely sever your ties with him as anything less will be more painful.
2007-04-18 17:20:42 · answer #9 · answered by Lock 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, marriage being what it is, just wait a few more years and he'll be done with this one too. The thing is this....if you guys were split up seven years and never got back together, don't you think maybe it's time to let go? Even if you have to force yourself, try going out with other people. It will get your mind off the ex and maybe you'll neet the next person you are supposed to be with. I know it hurts but it's time to get on with your life.
2007-04-18 17:19:21 · answer #10 · answered by J D 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋