People give up on marriage?

Question

It seems like people give up on marriage too quickly. Marriage is work, but so rewarding. What do you think?

I've been married 12 yrs - some great times and some really difficult times.

Answer 1

I totally agree that people give up on marriage too quickly but I blame society. We are no longer encouraged by our parents to tough it out during the bad times and cherish the good times. It has become the norm in our society to just cut and run when things get bad. The part of the vows that say "till death do us part" no longer refers to the physical death of a body. It seems to only mean till the death of the love and or trust that once was a part of the marriage. I have been divorced once and my current husband has been divorced twice. All three divorces came about due to our former spouses cheating. They gave up on the marriages.
Sure my present husband and I have our problems but we are both committed to each other and will not give up. Many times couples forget that they are supposed to be each others best friend so the communication just isn't there. They fight like children and don't know how to talk things out without screaming. They forget what unconditional love is. It is just easier to get a divorce. All of this of course does not pertain to abusive relationships. I feel that if there is abuse.......GET OUT!!!!!!!

Answer 2

You wouldn't move to another country, buy a house you knew you could really afford or adopt a child without careful and thoughtful consideration, but people jump into the lifelong commitment of marriage every day without much more than a second thought. You know why? Because they go into other committments knowing that you can't get out of them very easily and marriage is easier to get out of than a contract for pest control. I think they should pass laws making it harder to get married. You should have a waiting period like they do for buying handguns. I know people who have upped their wedding date by 6 or 7 months and then they are divorced by the time they would have originally married. It is a horrible thing when people see a vow taken in the presence of their families and God as just another contract that they can break.

Answer 3

I see both sides here. My first marriage wasn't what I thought is should be. It didn't work out needless to say. I'm on my second marriage now. I've learned so much in the past and the most important thing is that I've learned to fight for what I believe in and not give up too quickly. Sure it's hard. I think people need to REALLY think before they take that step. It's not going to be the Cinderella ending if people don't see it and work toward it.

Answer 4

I agree!! For 14 years I had the happiest of marriages. Now, after a few rough months, we're talking separation. How did that happen? I don't want to separate - I love my husband and says he loves me. But he says he doesn't know what he wants anymore. His solution? Walking away. I think people need to start with the idea that your marriage is close to sacred and that you should do everything in your power to save it. If you were once happy, there's every chance you could be happy again. But you're right. Divorce is so acceptable in our society. If it gets too hard, people just walk away.

Answer 5

You know the old story...don't judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. You probably know some who have stuck out their marriage just because of the kids, finances or other reasons besides love. The statistics are horrible. Interestingly, of those first-time marriages that last, only 10% are truly "happy". Must be some reason. Sure, some will split because it's suddenly convenient, and some will go because of abuse or cheating or serious addiction on one part. Tough to pass judgment on these issues without knowing the facts behind each individual case. Congratulations on your marriage.

Answer 6

I think that marriage is supposed to last until death or if one of the marriage mates is unfaithful to the marriage vow.

Marriage unites two different people with unique personalities. Carefully analyze the person you want to wed; ask your family and friends for help and watch how they treat their family and friends. Don't let the euphoric emotions that love brings to cloud your better judgement. If the person you want to be with is loud, selfish and mean now, they'd probably be that way when they get married.

People should weigh their choices in potential marriage mates carefully. It's something that's supposed to last a lifetime.

Answer 7

I agree that people give up on marriage too easily. I think that divorce should be reserved for cases of abuse and adultery. If people stopped making divorce an option, more marriages would stay intact. Date as long as it takes...don't marry someone you barely know and then rush away as soon as you find out he doesn't pick up his socks. It's also been proven that arranged marriages actually last longer. The best kinds are those that last 50 years on love though. :)

Answer 8

I think there comes a time when one must admit that something is over... What one person sees as quickly another may see as far too late...

What happens in a marriage is rarely broadcast for all to see but rather is between the two participants... Some marriages seem perfect when viewed from the outside but are pure hell when you are one of the spouses... Other marriages are the opposite...

When one spouse in a marriage says "I have had enough , I can't take anymore, I want out," I tend to believe them, who better to know the actual conditions of thier marriage than them, it sure as hell isn't me or you...

Answer 9

It depends on whether both people involved are truly devoted to each other. One person can never make things work. I look back now and i am angry at myself for putting up with some of the crap that i did for so long. When someone is making your life miserable then it is time to quit trying. I think that now because i put up with too much that it is very unlikely that i will ever be willing to make a commitment again.

Answer 10

Yes I agree with you. people ar way too eager to take the easy road on anything nowadays and divorce seems to be the easiest and quickest cure all answer to marital challenges. People are just not willing to dig in and fight for what they believe in anymore, which is really very sad because alot of marriages could probably be saved with just a little more TLC and effort. I have 27 years of marriage and not once have I thought of ever divorcing my wife over any of the challenges we faced and would do it all over again with her if I had to. Someday people will learn that nothing in life comes easy nor is anything promised/guaranteed anyone, andthe best things in life are those worth fighting for and stop being so eager to quit at the first sign of trouble. Good question and thanks for letting me vent