glowing tragedy[lyrics to my song]do u like it?

Question

he sleeps in a cloud/
in hope to never come down/
to never know whats below him/
crushed hearts he gave in the past/
he can leave a trail for all eternity/
[chorus:]
but just looks at him, he's a glowing tragedy/
missing out is his destiny/
and if i try to warn him/
shields will block like before/
--
doing so, not sure what is front of his eyes all along/
--
all gone,/
dreams floaded out to the sea/
hoping to get a gasp of air/
hes helpless/
this tragedy is on guard watch/
never looking deep enough to know whats inside/
[chorus]
floating on mist air when im with you/
must be blind since im gone/
lonesome is not the way to go/
hopes and my dreams is reach out to you/
please come back.../
[chorus]
open your eyes-- realize what u done

Answer 1

*I actually like how you've done the lyrics, it is going to sound good.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

for curiosity, "what's the genre and by any chance, do you also play the guitar?"

Answer 2

Hurt by way of Nine Inch Nails The remake by way of Johnny Cash could also be a robust music. I harm myself at present To see if I nonetheless consider I cognizance at the ache The handiest factor that is truly The needle tears a gap The historic acquainted sting Try to kill all of it away But I do not forget the whole thing What have I turn out to be My sweetest pal Everyone I understand is going away In the tip And you might have all of it My empire of filth I will help you down I will make you harm I put on this crown of thorns Upon my liar's chair Full of damaged ideas I can't fix Beneath the stains of time The emotions disappear You are anyone else I am nonetheless correct right here What have I turn out to be My sweetest pal Everyone I understand is going away In the tip And you might have all of it My empire of filth I will help you down I will make you harm If I might begin once more A million miles away I could hold myself I could discover some way

Answer 3

Not bad. The English needs to get cleaned up a bit.

Try one of mine:

Now That I’m Ready For Love

Another year wiser, another year older
Another day empty, another night colder
Another squandered opportunity
But now that I’m ready for love, no one’s ready for me

I sift through these streets, filled with aimless dancers
In calm desperation, still searching for answers
Leaves green and inviting, new rings on the tree
But now that I’m ready for love, no one’s ready for me

Young maidens sense some hot wave of emergency
They marry and mate in a false sense of urgency
As the hurried home crumbles, the fingers point blames
And all hold back burned hearts as they re-alter names
Never considering a cause holding true
That someone like me could want someone like you
That someone like me could need someone like you
That someone like me could love someone like you

INSTRUMENTAL BRIDGE

Another year wiser, another year older
Another day empty, another night colder
Another squandered opportunity
But now that you’re ready for love, are you ready for me?
Ready for me?
Really ready for me?
Now that you’re ready for love, are you ready for me....

Your Uncle Dodge

Answer 4

I like both your song and uncle dodges song. Both a bit sad though. Is your song about God or Jesus? Very sad. I like it though.

Answer 5

Sorry, I don't get it. Try one more rewrite. And it's either what you did or what you've done.