2007-04-18 15:54:25 · 34 answers · asked by ACG 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I found out about the pregancy yesterday. I told him...we talked today and he says he's not ready. However when we've had conversations regarding babies, he's all for it! I'm confused
2007-04-18 15:56:07 · update #1
give him time...
most guys have to warm up to it..we can talk a lot of crap..gloss over it...i mean..yeah he might not be ready..but...when he has the opportunity to go to the ultrasound...think up names...and the day of..when he is holding his son/daughter....well...if he hasn't warmed up to the idea by then...then he'll have to step up his game..because..
it is on!! no looking back at that point!
and you might remind him that you both talked about it..and were both all for it...
so...why did you work at having a child together...if it was only sex to him?
you KNOW the answer...but make him answer that...
2007-04-18 16:16:41 · answer #1 · answered by juanes addicion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's one thing saying he's ready to be a dad and wants kids and it's an entirely different thing when you're ACTUALLY pregnant with the kid. When he found out, it was a hard reality check for him. Now he is going through feelings wondering if he can be a good dad, ready to handle the burdens. At first it will be overwhelming. Over time, he will have to learn to adjust and make the best out of it. Then he should be fine.
2007-04-18 16:04:36 · answer #2 · answered by Samantha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, ready or not, he's going to be a dad. This will really test the strength of your relationship. If he's a decent guy, he'll stick around. If he runs, then you'll have to go after him for child support. But bottom line, he needs to be there for you. You're having a baby, that's gotta be scary! You need him there for support, to drive you to doctor appointments, etc. If he doesn't do those things for you, enlist the help of family and friends. But that child will need to see his daddy, whether he is ready or not. So tell him to be a man and take responsiblity for his kid!
2007-04-18 16:01:52 · answer #3 · answered by lovelydragonprincess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its too late now if you're already pregnant. He's going to be a dad whether he likes it or not unless you decide to abort the pregnancy which I WOULDN'T recommend.
You two should sit down and talk about this seriously. Find out why all of a sudden he doesn't want to be a dad. Maybe he is just scared which is normal.
2007-04-18 16:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by vanillacream753 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course he's nervous. He knows his life as he knew it is about to come to an end. He's either going to be a dad or end up forking over 1/3 of his pay for the next 18+ years or go to jail. Who wouldn't be nervous having their life changed so drastically?
Give him a bit of time to work out his choices. Like you, he has a lot of adjusting to do mentally. Just make sure you don't shut him out if he does come to the right decision. You and him are bound together for AT LEAST the next 19 or so years.It can be ugly or pleasant, it all depends on how you both handle it.
2007-04-18 17:09:39 · answer #5 · answered by J D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 you should have asked this question before sex, and if the answer was no, you should have stopped, but you can only use that for future reference. Its a confusing, scary and happy time, that's why he sounds confused. My suggestion would be to go thru with the pregnancy and if as you get further into it yall don't feel you are ready to be parents, adoption is amazing, and its getting harder and harder to get babies from out of the states so you'll make some parent extremely happy here in the states.
2007-04-18 16:00:14 · answer #6 · answered by p51mustang1965 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh well that is something he is going to have to get over it... a baby is not a pair of shoes baby is coming wheter he is ready or not what he is going to do? send him back like when you go to Walmart and take something back because he just happend to change his mind? tell him to grow up he is going to be a dad and that is it.. he should have said that before the little angel got ordered.. and don't even think about abortion this is your baby and if he don't want it you do.. you do right? I'm sure you do so you tell your man to think about what he say before he say it because in nine month he is going to meet face to face with the child he said he is not ready for.. You tell him ready or not here you go!! Good luck.
2007-04-18 16:06:30 · answer #7 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I vote normal emotions. I'm 7 weeks pregnant, we tried to get pregnant (it took a whole 2 weeks after stopping the pill), & I still have my own moments of "Oh my god, I'm not ready for this, what a bad decision!" But it's just nerves. Babies are a huge deal. Give him a little time, try to talk to him.
2007-04-19 04:20:06 · answer #8 · answered by layla983 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
TFB! (too freaking bad)
Well, you have 3 options once you are pregnant.
1. Keep the baby.
2. Adoption.
3. Abortion.
If you decide on 2 or 3 then he doesn't have to worry about being a father any longer. If you choose 1 then it doesn't matter and he will pay for child support weather he wants to or not.
2007-04-18 16:02:16 · answer #9 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There seems to be a step missing. He was all for it in a discussion, which was hypothetical. Let's assume there was birth control. If one side changes the birth control based on the hythothesis without informing the other side, then I can see he was upset about it. The guy has to know the top discussed is now put into action, not just "didn't we discuss it?"
2007-04-18 16:04:37 · answer #10 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gee, that's usually something couples decide together. He should have kept it in his pants if he didn't want to be a dad, ready or not.
2007-04-19 02:24:55 · answer #11 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋