if when" innocently" cleaning your 14yr old daughters room you found a condom packet with only 1 left,would you go nut's on her for having sex too young or would yoou praise her responsible attitude? (I'm not a parent so I couldn't really understand)
2007-04-18 15:26:43 · 27 answers · asked by Jim M 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
With the new UN charter on the right's of children wouldn't she be able to claim intrusion into her privacy and if so what then?
2007-04-18 15:34:58 · update #1
go NUTS!!!
2007-04-18 15:29:46 · answer #1 · answered by !!!!!Dont have a nickname=[ 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i dont give a s**t if she claims intrusion of privacy ! My 14 year old daughter would be my responsibility, and if she didn't like it then she should clean her room !
Anyway.... I think i would go nuts, not cos i found the condoms but cos she didn't talk to me first about it !
2007-04-18 19:13:08 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Honesty ♥.•´ `*.¸ ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you would have to do both. You would have to let her know you found out and you are not happy about it. I think you would have to give her some praise but also explain that condoms can break or tear etc. and try to get her to imagine what it would do to her young life to have to raise a child. if she is smart enough to use protection, she might be smart enough to listen to logic.
2007-04-18 15:38:55 · answer #3 · answered by Dogness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kids and teenagers are still young and still developing their own personal awareness and own space. If you try to go in all emotional or angry, shes not going to do what your hoping she will do which is see you as a worried or concerned parent, she will see you as some one threatening to take over her personal "space". The results could be that she either rows with you and becomes very very angry for invading her space (her room) and again, invading her space (her private life) and for trying to control either. Teenagers are all about trying to achieve their own person and trying to work out who they are, they become incredably protective of them selves so try in all ways to 'sit along side her' and not to have an arguement- even if you think you may win, you wont, where theres a will theres a way and she will find a way to go against you- even if its just for the sake of it, even if it becomes very secretive, and even if its slow to happen.
I think you got to trust you instincts on this one: is she mature enough- mentally, to be having sex? is she the type who could easily get led along or can she think for herself, and more importantly, can she say "no"?
Use this as a guide to think about exactly what you are trying to resolve or explain to her. If you are unsure, maybe this is the time to ask her, and explain that as a parent, you do not know everything, you want to help and also need reassurances.
Maybe you could work out afew ground rules -e.g from "not in my bed" to "not on a school night/ not in the house..." whatever you felt fit. But be careful to explain why as oppose to ordering about, as I already explained, teenagers are highly sensetive- even if they dont show it, and can very easily become offended.
Try to plan what you want to say,
when and where is a best place to do it- i.e in neutral terretory, in privacy...etc,
what you would like the out come to be- and be realistic here- her saying "father for give me for I have sinned" really is very unlikely!!,
and try to keep things calm and freeflowing, you need to have a trust relationship before you can get anywhere in terms of influencing her to go with your advice and judgement, sometimes people want to learn the hard way, -especially head strong teenagers!
And above all, try to ensure she has someone you can trust, whom she can talk to- she may trust a teacher or a relative in a far more reliable way, remind her she can talk to anyone she wants to.
Some times the best you can do it just be there to pick up the pieces.It may seem a small token, but it is an huge gesture to let her know this.
And remember, for this to be of any use, you will need to stay on good terms.
2007-04-18 15:47:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd go and get my dildo and show her how to put it on properly and suggest we have a chat about sex and ask her all kinds of squirm making questions.
It wouldn't be an attempt to reach across the age gap and be her pal. It would be a punishment, pure and simple.
2007-04-18 22:05:55 · answer #5 · answered by elflaeda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do have a 14 yr. old daughter...and I hate to admit it...but I know I would go nuts ! Eventually...because what other choice is there...I would have to deal with it properly...cause she is my daughter, and I would die for her, so I'm not gonna let that or anything else become bigger than that !!!
OH Ya....and the guy????????
I would find out....
and he would rue the day.........!
2007-04-18 15:32:58 · answer #6 · answered by LUCIFER 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd be both. she's having sex at a young age, but with protection. she was smart enough for actually having protection, but its her age. i'd talk to her, maybe the condom packet wasn't even hers. i'd go ask her first or she might think that i was searching her room and don't trust her.
2007-04-18 15:31:16 · answer #7 · answered by ALESANA 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would praise her for her responsible attitude, but then talk to her about having sex too early.
2007-04-18 15:30:40 · answer #8 · answered by Kewpie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go nuts first then tell her she was wrong to have sex so young but at least you used protection,but do not let it happen again.
2007-04-18 15:30:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In alot of ways I would be mad but hey I would not want her to be pregnant. I wont be happy about her having sex but hey at least she follow my advice and always use condoms right.
2007-04-18 15:30:26 · answer #10 · answered by Giovanna R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would juzt ask her about it. But calmly. I'm not a parent eitha so i do'nt kno dis but thanx 4 the 2 points.
2007-04-18 15:30:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋