He tells me I make him do it. He yells and screams over the little things and gets so mad when I don't do things when he feels they should. He always says he's sorry. Why does he keep doing this to me if he loves me?
2007-04-18 15:06:32 · 54 answers · asked by BJ B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get the ***** out, it will only get worse'
Leave as soon as you are done reading this.
DO IT NOW
2007-04-18 15:12:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is absolutely unforgivable behavior on his part. He will not stop this ever. You are in a cycle of abuse that won't stop. The part where he says he's sorry is all part of the cycle and is very normal in these cases of abuse.
You have to work up the courage and strength to leave him. Plan in advance and have some friends you trust to be on your side and to stay with once you leave. You have to get out and ensure you and any children are safe from his temper. Don't worry about your stuff, just take what you can't live without and get out!!! It won't stop and he will seriously hurt you eventually
You deserve better than this, no matter what you may think now. Remember, that when your in this cycle of abuse like this, guilt is just part of the cycle. The TRUTH is that nobody makes anybody hit them...EVER!!! Don't be guilty about anything...be angry that he can't control his anger!! Get angry and get out!!
Good Luck!
2007-04-18 15:31:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get the hell out of the house as fast as you can before you end up in the hospital which is very likely .Next get a order of protection to keep him away from you .This man needs help the chances are he will never stop beating you do not believe his stories Tell you closest friends what is going on in case something should happen to you or if you have to go to court with him.....If he really loved you he would never hit you
2007-04-18 15:23:44 · answer #3 · answered by oyster bay bob 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I very seriously doubt "you make him do it." For him to get so mad as to hit his own wife seems quite idiotic to me. His yelling and screaming come from losing control, control of the situation and of his emotions -- that's a possible reason for him to say I'm sorry. He will keep repeating this scenario until he gets some help, be it through formal/informal counseling, or by attending anger management classes. Before a "next time" occurs, tell him you'd like him to seek some help, professional or otherwise, from someone/some organiztion, before he hurts you again. This is the point you have to make ... that you love him and will stick by his side supporting him, no matter what, but if he truly loves you then he needs to do this for you. Best of luck to you! Remember, Love is kind -- never hurtful. Love means never trying to hurt another, but showing you truly care with warmth, love and compassion. And borrowing a movie line from "Love Story," -- Love means never having to say "I'm sorry!"
2007-04-18 15:26:19 · answer #4 · answered by Andy K 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First, honey don't listen to the few idiots that blame you for this happening. It took a lot courage to even ask this question, i know. It is NEVER the fault of the abused and always the fault of the abuser! Some people do not understand what domestic violence is and how it changes you. Abusers isolate you, break you down so you feel worthless and then blame you for everything. Your husband is a textbook case. You need to get out of that environment asap. This will only get worse.
http://www.ndvh.org/help/abuse_quiz-help.html
2007-04-18 15:22:50 · answer #5 · answered by Linnygirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is likely that he has control issues and insecurity issues within his own self. My husband used to be this way up until 2mos ago.It was not a constant thing, in 7 years of marriage I could count on both hands how many times our fights had gotten physical, but still even once is too much. He choked me in a choke hold and when he realized how much he really scared me he vowed never to touch me again. Even though we went to church we were not how we should be. He started reading scripture and has turned to that and walks away from our arguments. He used to always blame me,but now he acknowledges his ownership of his own actions. Not all men are capable of realizing their mistakes. I applaud my husband. He has really become a new man. I hope your husband can do the same. We pray together everyday and this helps. You may suggest counseling to your husband. Good luck I will keep you in my prayers.
2007-04-18 15:16:49 · answer #6 · answered by Theresa W 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is a very sick man who needs help professionally. No he won't stop and it will only get worse. Things are not your fault it is just an excuse. You need to get out of there while you still can. There are many places that will help you but you must make the first move by calling and say that you want out and report him.
2007-04-18 15:13:12 · answer #7 · answered by mr. Bob 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO! NOT UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD! It's about power and having the upper hand. It's about submission and lack of self control. This will not be over until he has beaten you literally to death.
I'm not kidding. You need to call an abuse hotline and get the hell out of there. Leave and don't tell him where you are going. If you have kids, take them. You're better off at a shelter.
2007-04-18 15:14:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
bj leave him, do u want your children to get bashed also?
there has been cases where the guy stops but only a small % up 2 u, your life i feel sorry for u if u wanna live with that kind of abuse. 'theres other fish in the sea' - less violent 2
2007-04-18 15:12:23 · answer #9 · answered by Pauly P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well for one thing he doesn't really love you if he hits you. He may love you as much as he knows how, but that is obviously NOT good enough. It boils down to a controll issue. If he could convince you that its your fault he's hitting you, then you won't blame him and leave.....which you should do... blame hime and leave. He seriously needs some counseling, and after all this I'm sure you do to.
2007-04-18 15:11:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, people like this wont change or stop there abusive behavior. Move on and find somebody that treats you with the respect that every woman deserves! There is NEVER a good reason to hit your wife, I don't care what the situation is. Get help!
2007-04-18 15:11:30 · answer #11 · answered by waker_me 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋